Anon- curious, are you saying:
You wrote:
Life scared me
Life gets cold.....ANd we need to keep going
Life is painful......that doesn't mean that I get to just check out from my life.
Life is full of shit.... SO keep dealing with it.
Life is lonely........And I deal with this stuff everyday....
And are you saying that
because the school was able to recreate these experiences for you- being cold, pain, shit (shoveling shit presumably- called out on your 'shit', etc) and lonliness and these metaphorical reproductions of real life made you realize that if you could surmount so much while at MMS, why not in real life?
I think it's great MMS was good for you and helpful, my experience was so different that it's hard for me to understand, how are MMS tactics are acceptable?
I think you can figure out the difference b/w those that are versus those that aren't- like excersize ok but days/weeks of intervention at the schools benifit maybe a little manipulative and at the expense of our schooling entirely unacceptable, John intimidation and yelling, smirking and power hungry not ok, labeling all as addicts seems a bit premature and can really fuck up a vulnerable teens idea of themselve so not ok, etc, etc, etc. I think it's common sense.
As I have posted elsewhere, I thought MMS tactics out of line, the attack therapy ineffective (and better methods available, the lack of ability to speak up about things going on that felt wrong (children should be seen not heard, so to speak), just the fear and the strenous labor which was quite excessive. I don't mind work, but that was insanity! And I learned a lot, don't get me wrong- that' doesn't mean all that much to me compratively, but it's something.
I also think that it's cause for concern that girls, even girls who adore MMS, still have nightmares about going there and not being allowed to leave- after 10 years! Read the postings on - I think it's called i'm confused. Girls start telling John, but I have a college degree! And I work! A dream about having to answer to John, seems quite appropriate considering the way the school worked. If you're having nightmare, something fucked up is going on.
I live 20 blocks away from the World Trade Center and saw the twin towers go down- many mornings I wake up at loud sounds in terror
that a bomb has just been let off down my street. The feeling was the same I used to get in my MMS nightmares- although I haven't had one in about 5 years. It's about trauma, though, and there's got to be a better way than retraumatizing girls over and over again at MMS for the sake of having the girls deal with the origical trauma. Frankly, what I think MMS does is shock the shit out of you for 2-4 years until you think it's normal and then let you go with a pocketful of 12 steps and a bunch of Mercerisms (as I like to call them.) Oh and let us not forget, with a lot of knowledge about skiing, horses, deer shit, knapp weeds, building fences, chopping wood, picking ice and rocks, hiking, layering clothing, mystical stories about how we're all on journeys and need to overcome obstacles that we can write bad plays about and our parents can politely applaud our efforts...I can't remember what else, but I make very little use of any of it now.
If you think it's MMS was great that's totally cool, but b/c that hasn't been the case for many girls makes it important for improvements to be made so that the cycle of girls (not girls like you) being admitted who leave feeling abused and worse off stops happening. If you had great experience, would it make difference to you if improvements are made for the sake of the other girls who felt MMS was abusive?[ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2005-08-12 14:18 ]