The bottom line is that this is not an appropriate place to be having these discussions. If you seriously believe that you have been abused, mentally, or in any other way, it needs to be discussed over a long period of time with a trusted professional. Now its very easy to view a trusted professional as one who is going to give you the answers to the conflicts in your head as you want to hear them. Try to find the most objective therapist that you can, and just start talking. He/she can tell you if it was actual abuse based on the way that it has individually effected you since graduating, and then you can work toward resolving whatever conflicts became of it. But vomiting your emotional shit all over an internet webpage, which is interesting mixed with both carlbrook grads (old and new; who had positive or even extremely negative experiences to the point of calling it abuse,) and grads from other schools and perspective parents, not to mention certain posts demonstrating the emotional maturity of a 12 year old on both sides of the fence, this is just bullshit guys and gals. I'm not saying that what you have to say is bullshit. This just isn't the place to do it. Many of you have revealed private information about people that is entirely inappropriate to have done in such a place, made comments that basically discredit your entire point by displaying a truly saddening level of internal conflict. I must say that reading this entire forum, which I just did tonight, from beginning to end, and its now 5 in the morning, has somewhat altered my perspective on Carlbrook. But anything that I take away from this, I am gonna talk about with my therapist, one that I trust, one that has an objective view. O was a grad pf may 06, saw the beginning of suspension, although wasn't a part of it, and therefore cannot comment about the possible damage that it has done to you. And at the same time, I understand that a story of my somewhat positive experience doesn't have anything to do with the Carlbrook that you experienced when in suspension. We all went through it as individuals and experienced individually, which means that nobody can discount the feelings you had while you were there. If you feel like you were abused, then you feel like you were abused. If you feel like you were brainwashed, then you feel like you were brainwashed. If you feel that it was helpful to you, then you feel that it was helpful to you. Only time will truly tell, as long as you engage yourself in introspection alongside an independent source. I feel like the person who said ( sorry I can't remember you username) that they were 41 and only beginning to understand how their program had an effect on them. I will say that I am certain programs were conducted very differently back then and feel that there was a much higher potential for more serious abuse at those programs, and that does not mean that the possible abuse you feel you suffered at carlbrook was any less significant. Just seek objective help, please. Nothing healing is gonna come from this reckless spouting.
To the people who maintained a level of respect in their posts, I thank you. They were a lot let frustrating to read. But for people calling Tim a pedophile, and the earlier comments about him spooning with a kid on the couch, that's just outrageous and childish. Whether Tim does in fact still have problems today and has committed acts that would be deemed as crimes (I did a quite extensive search while reading through this forum to find any evidence that he had, which came up negative but does not totally discount the possibility) by saying that you would be incurring the same type of abuse on him that you are stating the he has done to you. Lets grow up a little bit here. Shouting someone's darkness in their face because they shouted yours in your own face makes you no better than them. Its a child's game. And as for the student he was spooning with, I am pretty sure that that child was me, whether that identifies me here or not, i don't care. But I will say that that was one of the safest times I ever felt at that school. It was a time when I needed my father, the hug from my father that makes me feel like nothing in the world could touch me, but he wasn't there to give it to me, Tim was. And whatever his secret motives might have been, the hug still meant the same thing for me as it would have from Jonathan, or from Hope Bowling, despite her intensely offensive remarks to me on several occasions. I still remember her giving me a hug, out of nowhere, when we were in the middle of not talking, an almost motherly instinct. That's what I felt with Tim at that time. And we were not fucking spooning, you twisted minded fucks. I urge you to stop seeing things the way you want to see them, and start working, with and objective professional, toward seeing them for the way they are. I don't even care if you have tripped 1000 times and your view of reality is so skewed that you hang out with the DMT machine elves. Try to come back. Not to the Carlbrook perspective, but to your own.
Its 5:40 am so time to sign off. Take care everyone. Much love
