Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Straight, Inc-By-The-Sea

Straight, Inc.-by -the Sea Now Hiring


Dr. Miller Newton:
The new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc.-by-the-Sea (formely Straight, Inc. v2.0) is now hiring for the following positions:

Kitchen Supervisor

Must plan and supervise meal prepararation for group of approximately 200.  Will oversee weekly budget of $135.  Familiarity with institutional soup preparation preferred. Volunteers will be given preferential treatment, up to and including 15% reduction in monthly treatment fees for any dependent enrolled in Straight, Inc.-by-the-Sea.


Familiarity with phones, typing. 'Luded-out, Stepford-like demeanor preferred.  Must be experienced in evading and deflecting annoying calls from parents, lawyers, insurance companies, state and law-enforcement officials, and creditors.

Executive Secretary

Familiarity with office protocol, particularly document shredding and disposal.  Must know finer details of fraudulent billing claims and forging signatures of medical professionals.  Strong sales and collection background and willingness to lean on prospective accounts with threats of drug use and subsequent death of client's child if payment not rendered immediately.  

Send resume, salary requirements and number of druggie children by PM to Dr. Miller Newton at this website.


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