i remember Peggy Hurl*y was put on a peanut butter diet for over a month. one day, she snuck a piece of food off somebody else's paper plate as it was being passed down the row after supper, and people sitting around her reported her to a fifth phaser. she was stood up and confronted mercilessly. she was thin to begin with and had already lost weight, and looked so pale and miserable.
i remember down in st. pete in 82, there was a guy who had a sister who was brought into the program as a sibling. her name was kim, and they both came to va. most days, there were at least 1 to 3 people getting sat on in the back of group, at all times. i remember during the meals we would have to file past them. i tried to avert my eyes because it was so sickening to see the faces of these poor kids/young adult. i remember this guy's face so clearly... it was pale, mottled blue/gray, beaded with sweat, and there was a SOCK shoved into his mouth!!!!! five or six guys were sitting on him. i thought i was going to faint as i walked by, very conscious of the hand of the oldcomer inside the back of my pants. i knew i could be on the concrete with five big girls on top of me in two seconds if i resisted in any way.
after i was started over, i was screamed at mercilessly in group and sent home with oldcomers who were instructed by staff, and clearly were happy to comply, to "ride my ass". they did. i was given "consequences" of not being permitted to look at my own reflection in a mirror, a windowpane, a toaster, a spoon, you name it, i got confronted over it. this was because i was "so vain". they wouldn't let me shave my legs. i couldn't have cared less, but it crushed my self-esteem (and i still remember it)to be confronted and told how ugly i was. i had guys and girls screaming that i was ugly and even my own parents didn't want me.
let's have a song.
