I'm a single parent with a 15 year old son who does whatever he wants, and I called one of these numbers and then I researched. It doesn't matter what they call themselves--anything listed under wwasps is to be avoided.
I can't handle my son. That's a fact, and his father is who knows where. Last year I sent my son to a military school in NY (alma mater of Donald Trump) and it was great, and next year he's going back. It was 60 miles away and he could come home every weekend (a few exceptions--parades, etc.) starting from the first week. He could use the phone and the internet between 8-9:30. My whole thing was that I couldn't keep him in school. He's very smart, but they could get him to class most days. Was it perfect? No. But what the kids told me and what the tack officers said were the same negatives. The kids fight. There are some incidents of hazing. There have been 2 severe incidents in the past 100 years (1912 and 2003)but no one died. There's the boys will be boys attitude, and at military school they do fight all the time, and a lot of them smoke cigarettes, and there are ways to get alcohol and drugs on campus though it's nothing like suburban environs. But I knew what was going on, the tacks knew what was going on, and the kids knew--and there was no conflict in stories. That sounds negative, but trust me--it's a lot less than is going on in suburbia.
But here's the thing--which I realized after calling one of these numbers. I have an obligation to get him educated to the best of my ability. I don't have the right to imprison him and have him tortured. The doors at the military academy were left open and kids were free to walk out the door ANY TIME. And sometimes they did. But mostly they didn't because there were kids who left or got kicked out and ended up in boot camps or wwasps and no one ever heard from them again (I found this out after a discussion with my son last night--he just had a friend go to boarding school and NONE of her friends have heard from her. No calls, no IM's. But if you choose military academy --make sure it says founded before 1860. No new place.
My son also drinks and I know it, but guess what? He's either experimenting or he's an alcoholic. If he's experimenting--then just leave it alone and keep him from riding with someone or driving under the influence (another plus for military school--no cars.) If he's an alcoholic (as his father was) there's nothing I can do about it. You can't make anyone quit drinking unless they want to quit. Period. The same goes for using drugs.
I have many alcoholics in my family and the only way any of them every quit was AA. Forget forced rehab, too. If you can't tolerate the behavior in the house, let him try the homeless shelter. I am not in a state that can force kids into wwasps and boot camps, but juvenile detention is better than these places. And so is a foster home. Tough love is about not putting yourself between kids' decisions and the natural consequences. Some derelect school that's way worse than Attica is insanity.
Is your child at risk? No doubt. I know mine is and I want to minimize the risk as much as possible and if he ends up in foster care because I can't keep him in school--then so be it. I have to be willing to look like a bad parent. Maybe I am a bad parent but I think I'm more of an overwhelmed parent. But investigating these crazy programs reminded me I am powerless over alcohol and there by the grace of God.
But I believe what these kids are saying on these board. Kids ALWAYS let you know what's going on in a school. Sure occasionally there is a rare incident or someone who cries wolf--but this many? No way. God bless.
