When did the Seed close on SR84?

[marshall]

<"I have read here where it seems some people are getting misty eyed with their recollections of staying the night at the Seed,...>

Yeah, I get all misty-eyed about sleeping on sheets and blankets that smelled like they hadn't been washed in months, huge roaches crawling over me while I made a vain attempt to get 3 or 4 hours of sleep, eating the upstair's staff's left-over scraps for dinner, going to work without a bath and nearly killing myself when I fell asleep on a miami freeway while on the way to work one morning after guarding the seed.

[Stripe]

Ya know, you GUYS on gate duty and guard duty and all the other duties who get all misty-eyed and miss the place ...you people still are not living in the real world.  

The only non-group related activity I recall girls being able to participate in was that nasty bathroom stuff.  How gross was that - to have to sit outside that room asking people if the had to do pee, poop, or both.  And the toilets in the girls room could only be flushed when water was poured into the bowl.  God help you if you started your period while on the "front row" - I had to sit there and bleed all over my pants the first time that happend to me.  Fucking bitches, that's what those staff members were.  

Shaming and humiliating children for having bodily functions.  How fucking cruel is that??  Would any of you misty-eyed dumbasses allow your daughters to be treated that way?  Or do you GUYS not have children?
 

What were your GUYS really?  Slaves or prisioners might be a good words.

[Stripe]

Man, am I pissed off about this.

[Fran]

I do not remember being asked what I had to do in the bathroom. I was there 73-74 ..when did they begin asking these questions and what was the purpose of the questions for?

[GregFL]

Funny, many people do not remember this, but there was a bathroom monitor as early as 73, and before that from reports, that would always ask you, "piss", "shit" or "both" and log your name and what you did on a shett attached to a clipboard.

I know, because I often pulled this duty.

[Stripe]

Oh yeah, its true.  I don't want to recall a whole lot from that time but I do know that.  Tothis day I refuse to use Pinesol disinfectant because it smells like that intake office and the office area.  Pee-uuu that was a nasty, nasty place.

[cleveland]

Whoa! I never meant to suggest that I was misty-eyed...althought parts of those years show up as fun in memory, in total, I regret those years I wasted with false ideals. I think one of the reasons that staying the night, doing yard work, guarding Art's house, whatever, were appealing is because those were rare moments of semi-solitude when one could actually reflect. And there were times when we had fun together, even a lot of fun, under the circumstances. Do I think back fondly on the sensory and social deprivation, lack of autonomy and privacy, and group-dominated thinking? No way.

[Stripe]

Okay then. I was having a psycho-angry flash back myself.  Seems like most folks there were victims of either misguided, good intention parents, or, in the case of volunatry admission, some very serious misrepresentations. Either way, it was far from wholesome.

Forgive me if I offended you with my statement. It's just that when people who were there selectively remember only "the good times" sometimes it's just necessary to call it like I see it.

[Fran]

I tried to think the other night about this bathroom thing and I do not remember anything at all. I know I blocked out alot of stuff from that time as soon as I stopped going to the seed oldtimer meetings...in fact from about 1978-1991 I don't think I ever gave the seed one thought. And in 91 I remember talking to my kids about my time in the seed and about peer pressure etc. But then never thought about it again until recently and that is when I came to this forum.

[Johnny G]

Shortly after the 84 seed had closed, I went by with my wife, to show her where it all went down, I took a faded wood sign from the fence - my souvenier from the wreckage.  I may still have it.

I just recently got rid of the cross Bob told me to get rid of because it was an old tie or something (I found it in an attic of one of the houses I lived in)  It symbolized rebellion for me so I kept it (there's a whole 'nother discussion here)  


I will echo what Cleveland said about the extra duty - gate, spending the night, fixing stuff - any free moment away from the group - I was allways looking for an opportunity to "help out" and let someone else be in the group or play football etc.:wink:

I used to like feeding the ant lions out by the gate - my kids thought it was really cool when I showed them how - I knew there was something useful I learned sitting out there!

G

[cleveland]

I don't know why I feel so nostalgic for the Seed - honestly I was unhappy there a great majority of the time. Last night, I went through all of the email correspondance I've had in the 18 months or so since I found this site and reconnected with some of my fellow seedlings, and the memories came in so strong - sitting in the raps and feeling bored and anxious, looking at that You're Not ALONE Anymore sign until I thought I would lose it; trying to 'cry' and relate in the group and feeling empty inside instead; being afraid to do or say something 'non-seedlike' in front of a staff member or oldcomer, always having a lump in my throat or butterflies in my stomach. When ever I did manage to have some fun, it was like a short burst of sunshine in a grey sky.

And yet I still dream about the seed, and think about it a lot, and spend too much time on this forum. Why?

I feel like I am sort of forever sitting at the front gate, listening to the sounds of the everglades and the group in the background, waiting for my life to begin.

[GregFL]

Ah Com'n Walter, you don't really feel that way.


Do you?

[Johnny G]

I only found this forum a short time ago, but I find myself spending more time here than I would have expected.

It provides me withan opportunity to peek inside the door I closed when I left.  All of those people I called my friends, those I feared and those I would have gotten to know better under different circumstnces, as well as those I never would have interacted with at all.  We had some very intense and not so intense experiences together, regardless of the total time involved.  

We are bound by common experiences in spite of the varoius time frames and evolution of the program. - the inability to share anything but positive emotions, denial of the negative although both were present, only the mix varies

The forum provides other viewpoints which have have made me look at things from another angle and re-evaluate some things I thought I had tied down - confirmned some things I assumed then, but later doubted and vice versa.

It's like pulling things back form the memory hole.  I have thought more about that time in the past several weeks than ever.  I have been trying to pull back the names and faces from the lost days.  those who left before me and those I left behind - almost all were lost to me.  

I think it would be good to sit down over a beer or otherwise and chat with some of the old group but I fear this is as close as I will get to that.

It does me good to read of some of the things I remember happening, and about the unspoken events (dissapearences, restarts, relationships, etc.)

[Ft. Lauderdale]

I guess it brings out the obsessive compulsive in all of us.   ::bigsmilebounce::

[GregFL]

I think sitting down over a beer (or a coke, pepsi, whatever) with any of you guys is a cool idea.

I live in central florida. Anyone coming this way look me up.

Recently Chris and I and his wonderfully silly son had lunch at a Thai restaraunt.  I felt immediately attached to both of them.

Next time I get down to lauderale I am looking up Ft Lauderdale for sure.

I am hoping he will hook me up with lunch with Art, Kenny, and Robert.

The five of us will sit around and talk about the good old days.

 :grin: