Anonymous, are you saying that you remained completely unaffected by the Straight cult, never lost your way in there, never did anything you are not proud of? Anyone who ever stood up and even mildly slammed another person, anyone who took control over a newcomer, anyone who gained prestige on a higher phase and used that prestige and power to humiliate and hurt and control lower phasers was an "active participant".
What I see when I look back is that I just freaked out in Straight. I bowed to no authority before I was put in there -- which is why I was put in there -- but being imprisoned like that knocked me right out. Would it make any sense if I said I wore light pink for years after Straight? I felt like a light pink person. FINALLY, through a lot of anger and tearing emotion, I gained a lot of color back.
So once again, I will not fault you for your anger.
Once, I had a misbehaver as a newcomer. I secretly really liked and admired her. She said to me, when we were alone, away from the other phasers in the house, "this place (Straight) is so unhealthy, don't you think?" I couldn't really answer her. I could neither agree nor disagree because I respected her enough to listen, and yet all the gears were kicking in to churn out the right thought, to make the correct response to any questioning of the program. It is exactly like in 1984 -- crimestop, goodthink. I was well trained. I was under the powerful influence of Straight.
So, personally, I give former staff the latitude to regret their actions, and allow the good possibility that they were as terribly, viciously influenced as myself. I am speaking of junior and senior staff who went through the program.