Wondering

[Anonymous]

Does everyone have problems with getting into abusive relationships after Straight? Is it just me having this problem? or is Straight the reason? My parents never hit eachother.

[Anonymous]

Anyone that went against group morals was "dealt with" without talking back or defending themself.
If someone pissed you off you could report them and they would get ripped by many.  The end result was always "a lesson taught"  The ripped person would express regret and speak of working the steps to change into a better person.  After being exposed to that type of control relationships in the free world can be difficult.

The sad thing is some people only anwser to violence.  That's in relationships and abroad.
For example, If someone owes you money and you tell them it's time to pay, they might blow you off for another week.  But if you knock the fuck out of them and dangle them off a tall building,
their attitude changes quickly and the money they owe magically fucking appears.  It's best to avoid those type of people.

If your using violence as a means to communicate or control, your cureable and there is help out there for ya.  
If your the one being abused it will continue for as long as you allow it.

For those that go home and beat the wife for kicks or because "dinner was cold" the only cure might be a shotgun.  I don't see you in this catagory because your seeking help.

[irvingbound]

Before straight I never argued with anyone...I was laid back and just lived life to the fullest a 16 year old could.  

After Straight I would argue with everyone...and with vicious and cruel intentions....I really developed an ability to call people out....and I could read people a lot better when I got out....which when your mad is often used to work someone over.....

Though the people I hung out with before Straight could be violent, I never was....but after Straight I was different....Straight had something to do with that, but the lifestyle and as Reagan Youth mentioned, "the coming of age" also led to those changes....

What I found is at some point you have to step back and shed all excuses for the things that are not working in your life....you have to change what you want to change....do what is best for you and your longevity...It's easy to say Straight caused me to be a certain way....but I choose my behaviors.

D

[mental torture made me li]

On 2005-01-10 01:47:00, Reagan Youth wrote:

"Anyone that went against group morals was "dealt with" without talking back or defending themself."

 that was ingrained in me in Straight, don't defend yourself, if someone is telling you something bad about yourself you suck it up. you are wrong, you are worthless, you have no place defending yourself while we tell you the "truth" about you. then there is the opposite, which is being reactionary to the slightest perceived insult. it can make things hard with other people.

i was quite paranoid around other people for a long time after Straight. i was totally focused on this idea that while they might be saying one thing, they could be thinking something different and bad about me, and who knew what their real intention was. this made me space out when talking to other people.

now I have no patience for anyone who thinks they can see my "character faults" and thinks they should tell me. and i hope i extend that same courtesy to other people. well it is my new philosophy on things, so i might mess up. but even with someone i known for a long time, i have recently decided that kind of thing is not what i want anymore and i am not interested in talking to them anymore because of their habit of thinking they should tell me my choices are wrong and my character is wrong. they even wrote some long email after i hung up on them about how sometimes people need to hear things about themselves they don't want to hear. i didn't even read the stupid email. i really don't think anyone "needs to hear" about (what other people see as) their faults. everyone has faults, but in general you either get along with someone despite their habits of personality or you don't. if you don't, you don't hang around with them.

[Anonymous]

My first abusive relationship, they sexually abused my daughter. The next abuse was physical and mental to me. I went to a shelter and got help. now I suspect sexual abuse with my dausghter again so I am putting a monitor in her room to see. My husband is not controlling and shows no signs of abuse. Now after years into our relationship I have doubts and I have to find out if he is abusing our kids. If he is than I will have to start all over as a single parents with 3 kids. I am so tired of all this.

Thank you for listening

[Antigen]

On 2005-01-09 22:20:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Does everyone have problems with getting into abusive relationships after Straight? Is it just me having this problem? or is Straight the reason? My parents never hit eachother."

My first serious relationship I could say was a guy who I thought I could straighten out. Eventually, I figured out that he would always be a misbehaver and that was the fun of it for him.

So I ditched. I went for an older, more responsible man who thought he could straighten me out. Didn't work out either.

So then I went looking for no one. I swore off men for awhile and focused on housing, feeding, clothing and making a life for my daughter. Along comes a very young man who wanted to help and who needed to be loved. It has been a square deal all the way `round. I think you always come accross the best things in life when you're not particularly looking for them.

Thought that is silenced is always rebellious. Majorities, of course, are often mistaken. This is why the silencing of minorities is necessarily dangerous. Criticism and dissent are the indispensable antidote to major delusions.
--  ALAN BARTH, The Loyalty of Free Men, 1951.

[mental torture made me li]

thas a sweet love story, Ginger!