Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
Group Think
Anonymous:
Stripe,
Sure some of my bad choice were conscious choices. Yet let me explain me to you back in the days. As I said, I was walking on this planet as a shell of a human being. I felt NO feelings, because I chose to get high 24/7. I was numb from past experiences in my life which really screwed me up. I was full of rage. When I hit my mom with the iron, I didn't really see my mom, I saw red, and was totally out of control. Do you understand that? So full of rage that you don't see or even care about what is right in front of you. It is a very horrible and scary feeling. When I realized what I just did, I didn't even feel it was me. I had a monster inside of me that was rearing it's ugly head and I wasn't even aware of it. Sure I chose to drive the "get away car" in the robbery, and I wasn't even thinking of the consequences. Unfortunatly the other two got caught in the woods, and we took off. Good friend huh? While I was in the seed, I was given a great therapist whom I'd go see after I got out of school. There I had to go through every horrible experince I had been through in my past, and be healed of the pain. It took many yrs post seed too to get it all out, feel the feelings I felt at the time, and let go. I busted my butt to fight that monster in me, and I won.... The seed opened my eyes to a life I had never experienced before. And the sandwiches were horrible. ::boohoo::
Antigen:
But.... didn't you just say Art was a Lefty? So then... does that mean he was as full of shit as the SPX? Or that SPX should be believed w/o question, just like Art?
When dogma enters the brain, all intellectual activity ceases.
Robert Anton Wilson
--- End quote ---
Antigen:
Yeah, yeah. Been there, done that, every stinkin' day for years, plus all the open meetings for a decade prior.
Do you think it's just possible that all that indoctrination may have influenced your memory of events prior to the Seed? What about the people who knew you before and who were not involved w/ the Seed. What do they say?
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
-- George Carlin
--- End quote ---
Johnny G:
I made conscious choices to be the way I was, but then got caught up in it, and felt pretty trapped.
I had the raging monster thing going on, and Crazy Johnny was a bit too close to home for me. THe Seed was a "time out" and a "do over" for some stuff, so as I said before, I came out better than I went in. I was forced to confront a few demons and work those things out.
I don't believe Art and Co started with the intent to form a cult, but I think it took on those aspects due to the lack of an alternative view. It does't make it any less real, but for some of us that aspect is more significant than for others. I went thru this a lot in my own mind in the days after I left, from anger to confusion, to self doubt and back again. I have come to accept my own feelings and my experience as a given, some positive and some negative - I survived and I'm normal now (I think).
We all measure our own experience on the same yardstick - positive vs negative. I myself was terrified of fucking up and being started over right up until the day I left.
After I wrecked my car I was right back to feeling pretty much trapped there (what happened to Barry B (right next to the impact I think), and the brothers from Newbern?). In theory I could leave at any time.
Happy holidays Merry Christmas and such
Johnny G
Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2005-12-22 10:30:00, FueLaw wrote:
Please keep in mind that the person who argues the most against the Seed never spent a day in the program and has no logical point of reference to argue from.
--- End quote ---
Ok, please quit with the rediculous. That's like saying a Jew who grew up in Nazi Germany knows nothing of Hitler Jugund cause they never joined. Besides that, I was in Straight, which was The Seed under another name. Belive it or not, I was there, you weren't.
And I'm not the most stridently against the Seed, either. I know of people who refuse to believe good intent on the part of the core staff.
It has ever been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues
--Abraham Lincoln
--- End quote ---
_________________
Drug war POW
Straight, Sarasota
`80 - `82
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