Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
Sorry Folks, the Seed helped me!!!
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2005-01-09 10:23:00, Ft. Lauderdale wrote:
"Yes, Antigen the answer to you question is Yes...
But ...( and you know what comes after but) I had to throw that in. There are still missing links here to me like straight inc........... thats where you and greg went right??? You didn't go through the seed program you went through straight and Gregs dad also had something to do with straight inc also acording to posts I,ve read. I find it interesting that you both had that in common also. greg (I know you were in seed but did you go to straight also? I can see that if I was trying to find my way in life and I got put in the middle of all that crap I'd be pretty resentful also... feeling like I got robbed of my adolescence and I never had time to grow up and figure out anything on my own."
--- End quote ---
Thanks FL...but I am not resentfull. I am pretty much at a stage in life where this stuff is just like telling a story. The emotion is gone..hell, it has been 30 years or so ago. I do enjoy moderating this site and talking about my experience. I think it is important for several reasons including giving people who haven't come to terms with what happened to them an opportunity to talk about this stuff in an open safe place.
No, I never went to Straight. My father and I were not on speaking terms when he got involved in founding Straight, Inc. In fact, him and I were estranged over him forcing me into the seed and them trying to do it again for a many years. You mentioned you would have never made it without the support of the seed. Many of us rejected the seed for personal reasons such as not wanting to be oppressed, and then we suffered extreme isolation from our families and our former seed friends and had lost most of our old friends for being "narcs". It got real lonely out there as a teenager trying to put the seed experience in perspective, struggling to make good decisions with anger and confusion and no real support group..combine that with being told you would def fail if you left the seed.
How did we make it? Are us seed failures superior to you guys that would be dead insane or in jail without having gone thru the seed in adolescence?
I don't think so, I just kinda think many of you have built a myth around the "Seed saved me (or my ass) story...I don't think for the most part those statements are based in reality. Maybe for a few extreme cases, but for us non addicted 14,15, and 16 year olds?
Nahhh....
GregFL:
sorry, those four prior posts were me...forgot to log in.
Ft. Lauderdale:
Greg- sounds like you really did go through some major shit- I'm sorry that you did. Was your Dad a good guy? and just thought he was doing the right thing? Or was other stuff going on as well? Were they divorced already at that point was he trying to be the hero good Dad or what? Were you a little shit or pretty normal. I really do feel like you got the shit end of the stick.
I'm really not a weak individual- I don't buy into shit very easily. (I never had moonie mentality) My experiences made me strong like your's probably did as well. I really can see both sides of this (this is the confusing part for me right now.) I saw alot of good -through out the years. I saw majorly fucked up people change and I mean change. Alot of people that would have gone to prison ( not just for one LSD tab)for for major crimes get a new chance and made good of it. Some didn't. I always saw peoples best interests put first. Now I guess unfortunatly some things fall through the cracks and this is not good. Got to go. Later.
Antigen:
Ft. Lauderdale, there is no chance in hell that my mother will ever forget who Art Barker is. To her, he's about like Jesus on Earth.
I know that for a lot of people, the whole Seed experience was just a few months and didn't involve their whole lives. That's not what happened to us. My next door neighbor sent one of his three daughters there. She wound up on staff. You might remember her. Her name was Pam and she was featured in a pretty high profile newspaper article when she worked at Pompano Harness.
Anyway, even though she was completely emmersed for a short time, she eventually quit staff and got back to a fairly normal life. That's not what happened in our family. All three of my older brothers and one sister went in. By the time I was old enough (and, believe me, by that time my mother was convinced that every teenager could use a run through the Program just as a prophylactic) The Seed was in trouble (again) over juvenile placements. That's why I never went there. Instead, I went to the New and Improved Seed in St. Pete.
All of my brothers and sisters left town just about as soon as possible. Other kids in the neighborhood were not allowed to associate w/ me because their parents were a little afraid of us. This included my best friend (till I was 8, anyway) who's dad was a BSO officer.
As recently as about 13 years ago, my mother was still trying to get me into a damned program! Now, mind you, I have never been addicted to anything but tobacco. The one time in my adult life when I picked up the phone and called her looking for moral support (my husband was sick, I was scared) she took it as the oportunity she had been waiting for. She called me the next day and told me she had made arrangements for my kids so that I could enter residential rehab!
This changed the course of my life and family profoundly and completely. The Seed essentially stole my mother and childhood from me.
But I never thought it was a matter of general interest till a couple of years ago. See, I thought that all the Programs had either shut down or reverted back to small, non-influential little cults like The Seed had done. But I've found out since then that these programs and people who believe in them have a whole lot more influence over public policy and funding than most mid-sized towns. And so I think it's worthwhile to examine the philosophy and experience of the people who make up these groups. Hopefully, if people get a general understanding of just what the TOUGHLOVE hategroups are all about, they'll quit letting them write public policy and checks.
Allow the President to invade a neighboring nation whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion, and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose to say he deems it necessary for such purpose, and you allow him to make war at pleasure. Study to see if you can fix any limit to his power in this respect, after having given him so much as you propose. If today he should choose to say he thinks it necessary to invade Canada to prevent the British from invading us, how could you stop him? You may say to him,--"I see no probability of the British invading us"; but he will say to you, "Be silent: I see it, if you don't."
--Abraham Lincoln
--- End quote ---
GregFL:
--- Quote ---On 2005-01-09 14:29:00, Ft. Lauderdale wrote:
"Greg- sounds like you really did go through some major shit- I'm sorry that you did. Was your Dad a good guy? and just thought he was doing the right thing? Or was other stuff going on as well? Were they divorced already at that point was he trying to be the hero good Dad or what? Were you a little shit or pretty normal. I really do feel like you got the shit end of the stick.
--- End quote ---
I did. And I am not alone. This Seed experience, like Ginger alluded to, was a bump in the road for some, a major diversion for others, and a total train wreck for many like me.
My family was typically disfunctional. My mother was in Ft lauderdale. My father got remarried quick. He had neither the time or the inclintion to be a father until he could wrap it up in a cult setting and garnet as he would say "absolute control". He had a real mean streak. His new wife was ineffective and had three kids of her own. they tricked four of us in initially and then my older "stepbrother" went in after I was off the program. After graduating he robbed my father's business, got in other troubles with the law and became a fugitive. My father still won't have much to do with him. My other stepbrother after graduating the seed has never been married or really had a girlfriend and never known any real successes. His sister after graduating has been in trouble, been divorced twice, been on public asssistance and never has suceeded much either. Both of them say the "needed" the seed and neither has done much with their lives. We are not close at all since or after the seed.
My real sister wouldn't discuss the seed until about five years ago, then she hit the wall and really got upset about the whole thing, dealt with it and now is very anti Seed/snynanon type program. Her and I have been close for years.
That is about the deal. My father is old and forgetfull now and we don't much discuss those days anymore. My mom get upset if we talk about it. She never wanted me there. I was staying with her for the first time since the divorce when my father concoted a bullshit story, drove down to Lauderdale, and then drove us straight up to the st pete seed, lying the whole time. My step siblings had been put in the day before. After that date, the day I became a prisoner in a personality cult in mid 1973, my childhood was never recovered and lost forever.
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