On 2005-01-05 20:37:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Jimmy, I am very happy that everything is going good for you.
Jesus Christ on a
broken crutch! You obviously never got to know an authentic addict! Jimmy, please know that we're all pulling for ya', heart and soul. I don't recall if you said you were kicking an opiate addiction or not, but that's what I assume by the way you put it. If so, some of us understand that "going well" is probably not the very first phrase to spring to mind when you get up to face the new day. But it does get much better. You must be at least 45 by now and (you can check this), statistically, people who make it to your age almost always kick successfully and permanently right about now.
I was totally screwed up in drugs and was desparately unhappy. I never had any confidence in myself ...
Don't you understand that all adolescents feel that way at some point? Think of all the kids who landed on front row for a "druggie attitude" (usually the younger brothers and sisters of initial Seed intakes) But the same schpeel worked on them pretty good, even on those who had NO drug experiece, let alone excessive use.
Never the less, for millions of years, most kids have found their bearing and grown up just fine, even w/o The Seed.
and would never have done anything possitive were it not for the Seed and the tools that I was given.
That's extremely hard to believe. Nothing positive? Ever? Not a thing? There was nothing that could have happened, other than The Seed, that might have influenced you to change your ways? That is something you can't possibly know because it didn't happen. Just like I don't know what might have been if my family hadn't gotten involved in The Seed. I can tell you that The Seed did NOT bring us together or keep any of us off of drugs.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't use what I have learned.
Naturally. What else are you gonna use? You didn't take another path so you didn't learn other stuff.
Antigen - It seems to me that you are very resentful towards the Seed.
Yeah, no shit! 10 years of living under that cloud and then landing up in The Seed, The Sequel followed by getting the boot from the family for leaving the Program will do that to a person!
I was there for many years and saw lots of people change their lives around including myself. I feel offended by your being so negative towards others when they are trying to express themselves.
I'm not being negative toward anybody. I'm being critical of the
Program. There's a difference. You are not The Program. You are a person who was involved w/ The Program.
You should have a little more sensativity and think about how you might affect them by what you are saying."
And so should you. Look, I know this is not something you're used to hearing, but most of the people who I know who bought in on these programs struggle w/ substance abuse and/or cripling depression far more than those who never went or those of us who never bought in.
Why? I think it's obvious. One of the core beliefs of the Program (be it AA/NA, Seed, Sraight or any other variety of stepcraft) is that you are weak and powerless and, any minute now, you're liable to "relapse" into your incurable, fatal disease.
I've had a rough year. No, I had a really easy half a year ending about a year ago, the rest has been unusually stressful for quite some time. If I believed the above dogma, I'd be stinking drunk right now. As an alcoholic, it would be my duty.
But I don't believe that. Never did. And so I can have a few beers one night, get up the next day, take my kid to her clinic at the hospital, learn all I need to about any changes in her IV or other meds that I'll have to administer later (on time, correctly and w/ good sterility practices), handle a car wreck on the way home (thankfully, just a couple of old beaters got a little uglier and no one was hurt) and NOT go on a bender.
I keep my life together
because, unlike my two most unfortunate brothers, I never bought in. And when I say to Jimmy that it might be worth a try to re-examine the beliefs that have obviously not been working so well for him for the last 30 years, I am being very sensitive to how it may effect him. How sensitive are you being when you say, essentially, "well, if you would just work your program like I do..."
:roll: Friends like these!
I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.
--Thomas Jefferson, U.S. President, author, scientist, architect, educator, and diplomat
_________________
Ginger Warbis ~ Antigen
Seed sibling `71 - `80
Straight South (Sarasota, FL)
10/80 - 10/82
Anonymity AnonymousSome days, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.