I am in a graduate writing program and am currently writing about my experience at the Seed last summer, the Seed's last summer... seems to be just a small cult now, but definitely a tight community. My father has become intertwined with the program through his girlfriend, who went through the Seed, and had me attend 6 weeks of Raps last summer in order to "give me the tools I need to survive in the real world." I've never used drugs. My relationship with my father has been rocky and his sending me to the Seed was mainly the product of that.
I have so many questions! I am primarily interested in two things.
1.)The destructive concept of fatherhood. In paternalism. In loco parentis. In Art Barker as a father figure. He is WORSHIPPED UNQUESTIONINGLY. Did anyone ever challenge his authority or see someone who did? Did he really adopt Libby? Was most everyone checked into the program by their parents? How much was a voluntary submission as one would to parents and how much was coerced?
Do you think those in control really believe they're doing good, or do you think there is some awareness of manipulation, control, and power?
2.) In writing about the survival of an artist in a program that attempts to eliminate all that makes individual creation possible. There was so much fear of getting "too into your head" and an elimination of all attempts to set yourself apart as an individual. I want to hear stories--artists who succumbed, artists who survived, attempts to reconstruct the Self when they were done with you...
What did it feel like to get up and speak--I was pressured to speak and it makes you very vulnerable, one person in front of a group.
What do you think of the "I love you," response? Said over and over... Experiences, reactions?
History On Art Barker:
Did he meet Shelly Barker when she was going through the program? Rumors of relationships with teenage girls? His work in Vaudeville prior to the Seed, I know he used to perform at the Playboy House. The Spanking Machine, I read about this, anyone know about it?
On the Rap Structure and Content: Last summer it was Monday, Wed., Friday from 11 to 1. I can't remember the different themes. They all run together. I think it may have been set where certain days were on the 7 steps and the 3 signs but I think Friday was always on relationships. The 3 Persons: That was an interesting one... The person you were, you are, and the person you want to be? The 7 steps are the 12 steps of AA condensed, but this was never acknowledged in my experience. Why is the Seed so reluctant to admit its influences like Straight? How influenced was it? Libby told this story about punching her fist though the window and shaking blood on the bathroom ceiling. Anyone heard that one? Some of the stories were less dramatic, like wearing orange bellbottoms to school and being embarrassed. What were the stories like when you were in Rap?
Why do men and women sit on different sides of the room in rap? Why does everyone have to leave their belongings at the door? These rules seem pointless now, but they were still carrying them out. Many of the married couples met in the Seed, what were the rules on dating? How much of your personal life did the Seed know about? Spying? What was this sexual confession someone mentioned?
I agree that it's not a drug rehab program. I'm curious as to how many in the program had a drug problem and how many were just rebellious teens?
And what is this obsession with astrology they all have!? I'm sure I'll have more questions later...