On 2005-06-16 18:48:00, GregFL wrote:
"
On 2005-06-16 18:45:00, linchpin wrote:
"I never even think about straight. It sucked but was no where near the low point of my life..
It was fucked up but ...I dunno just doesnt seem like that big a deal anymore..
"
I am with you on this one linchpin. For many years directly after the seed I was angry about it. Then about 7 years ago when we started this stuff on the internet I thought about it often and went thu some emotional ups and downs as I dealt with the memories and the realities of what happened.
Nowadays it just seems like ancient history, something negative that happened to me a long time ago..a string of unfortunate events that, mixed with the good stuff..equal out to a pretty damn good life.
The modern day programs are another matter. Some of them really piss me off..like this christian Straight for gays as an example...
"
I agree.
But fighting off heroin relapse takes all my energy these days..
Since coming off methadone I dont feel like a human ...and Im way past acute withdrawals.
I can go years without doing opiates and still it takes over my mind..
I find myself driving towards the barrio and fucking have to like fight myself ...
I did shoot some dillauted a few weeks back and blammo I felt sane again..
Same with Hydrocodone..eat 5 or 9 and blammo Im happy and sane.
Straight is but a distant memory..Hell prison wasnt too bad either.
Guess Im gonna feel like shit all my life.
But Im full time employed for first time in years
and getting new place with Groovy here..
Just not willing to throw it all in the shitter, ya know?
