Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

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marshall:
Yep. You definitely remember the seed. Jupiter, that was one of the best posts I've read here. Thanks.



I came to the seed in 1976 and those were the staff members I remember too. (plus Robin, Terry and Hank) Just one strange thing that you or someone might be able to clear-up....Cookie was a necomer when I arrived. She wasn't added to staff until many months later in my recollection. And you say she was on staff when you were there in 74? Someone mentioned that she got started over. I just assumed that this was after I left. So she made staff, screwed-up, started-over and made staff again while I was there?

Anonymous:

--- Quote ---
 Cookie who was engaged when she first came in (right after me) and had a big ring that really pissed off the staff"


How cud this be , she walked in 75 , so how long did it take her to be staff? IF you came in before her, why weren't you staff first?
--- End quote ---

Ican'tTalktoYou:
Hi Jupiter Survivor.  Good job.  That seems to have been a cathartic post for you.

We are not the seed rejects.  The seed and the Art worshippers are the rejects.

Keep healing.

GregFL:
Thank you so much for your post Jupiter reject.

Yes "I can't talk to you", some of us were "seed rejects" but mostly because we rejected the seed we paid a big price. To us the price of our freedom of mind had no price that was not worth it and we sacrified our homes,our friends, and family to garner our self worth and freedom from the cult.

No one until now has understood that.  Now I know people do, people that built their lives around the seed even get it now, people like Ft Laud and trucker have been gracious enough to really listen to what happened to us "rejects" and understand that rejecting the seed did not make you a failure in your life.

Jupiter reject, welcome to the forum. Please participate often.

Anonymous:
Being told so many times that i was full of shi* that I believed it for years

Not being allowed to read anything, even street signs, or being allowed to speak for the first 3 days

Being forced to have my long hair cut by my oldcommer into a weird upside-down u shape, shoulder length

being told to stop looking at the "guys"

telling the bathroom monitor 1,2, or 3

being laughed at and told to "sit down" almost every time I related

blurry memories of love raps, spirit of the group raps, girls rap, and me flailing my right arm while trying to be invisible at the same time

open meeting when my mom would stand up and cry

being the last of 4 siblings to finally go home and never feeling that i fit in or understood what was expected of me

using the f word, every other word

saying "you know" every other word

being scared to death that i would be called on during a rap

witnessing my old best friend fabricating a complete lie during girl's rap about how she was gang raped

being forced to eat spoiled food and coolaid. I was made to eat a bologna sandwich with warm jelled mayonaise on it

lightning storms so close that you could hear a "click" before the lightning struck in the huge shed like building near Tyrone

exercising time on the hot, hot asphalt parking lot while old friends called out from accross the street

how hot the building was in summer

holding hands with girls

being 15 years old and referred to as a chick, a slut, a druggie, a liar, etc

seeing shelly limp back to the group, bruised and shaken after a beating in the office from her parents

planning a break for one of the doors, but not doing it because i knew i'd never make it passed the kids guarding the doors

having to use the restroom and shower with the door open at my oldcommer's house

the seedling table in the cafeteria at Lakewood

telling anyone not associated with the seed "i don't want to talk to you"

being the last of my 4 siblings to graduate. still don't know what i finally did right to graduate

being totally rejected by other seedlings after i graduated

watching seed graduates date and marry

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