Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
Fresh blood
cleveland:
When I was there blue jeans were also suspect. Staff members wore polyester 'slacks' with a golf shirt and matching socks, like Art. Staff women wore the female version of this in pastel colors. AS an oldcomer, the jeans ban was somewhat relaxed but you definitely couldn't wear anything 'cool' which at the time would have been ripped, patched or faded jeans.
Cool tennis shoes like Adidas or Nikes were out too. The only staff member with facial hair finally shaved it off to beg acclaim in the group.
Standards of 'manly' and 'feminine' were very much in the 1950 mold - clean-shaven, short,neat hair, simple clothing - and we were expected to be polite, too, unless interacting with a 'druggie.' Then you could tell them to fuck off.
And then "I love you!"
GregFL:
trying to match art´s dress style didn´t happen until much later when the seed got smaller and yes, even stranger.
Ican'tTalktoYou:
I did like some of the people that I met there; however, I didn't form any lasting bonds with anyone. I didn't really trust anyone. I definitely thought the staff had their collective heads up their asses. When I was able to take newcomers home with me I tried to make things fun and lighthearted at home.
Some places I lived as a newcomer never let up. It was 10 to 10 at the seed, and then from the time I got home until I went to sleep and the same in the morning until I arrived at the seed. It was torture.
I remember I had a newcomer named Kyle (sp?) that tried to run in middle of the night. She accidentally broke the window and oddly enough, I though someone was trying to break in (sleepy brain) and I jumped up and grabbed her and pulled her toward me to keep the nebulous burglar from getting her. When I realized what was happening it actually hurt my feelings that she tried to run away. But she was obviously running from the seed and not me personally.
My first day I had on a tight shirt, very short shorts, flip flops and my bathing suit underneath because I was going to skip school and go to the beach. I got dirty looks when they took me out to the group, and the first time I got stood up (which didn't take long) you best believe that was a major topic of conversation. I was obviously a whore and playing games with guys. It's as if they didn't know what kinds of clothes department stores were selling. To me, I just looked like everyone else at home.
Did anyone else here have to write those damn papers every night? Or were they doing it to me to make me nuts????? I made a bonfire when I got home and burned them all. :flame:
I remember hearing that the staff members had been junkies and I was very suspect of that fact, even then. Does anyone know if it was it true or not?
marshall:
Yes IcantTalktoYou, everyone had to write those papers...moral inventories. At least they were still required when I was there in 76-77. Maybe Cleveland can tell us whether the practice continued in later years. I think I still have a few notebooks full of that stuff in my closet. When I read them now I feel embarrased and slightly nauseated. The 'voices' of the staff / group became my own interior superego....which I think was the general idea. That the mind-control be internalized so that we imagined it was all freely embraced. I was extremely harsh with myself in those pages
BTW, welcome to the forum. The first night I found this forum, I was so disturbed by the memories that it evoked that I was unable to sleep at all. This was followed by several nights of nightmares about being back there. The seed is dead, but apparently lots of knock-offs survive to this day.
cleveland:
Yup, everybody did moral inventories. Somebody transcribed theirs on this site! Scroll thru and read...
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