Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

Post Seed Relationships

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cleveland:
I always worry when this subject comes up (sex). Obviously, a powerful and taboo matter, especially when we were adolescents and especially as Seedlings. I appreciate the honesty that people approach this with. Yes, it was tough to be 'in denial' about sexuality as a Seedling - it was also kind of cool to attempt to treat women with respect. Even though it was in many ways misguided, I do remember trying so hard to be 'classy,' (Art's word) when it came to women. One of the things that really bothered me before I went into the Seed was that the 'peace, love and happiness' of the hippy generation had become sleazy scoring in the 70s. I realize not everybody thinks that was a bad thing but I was an emotional kid and couldn't separate sex from feelings.

GregFL:
How about having sex AND respect?

According to the seed, that was impossible, except for Art of course.

What a racket!

Robin Martin:

--- Quote ---On 2004-12-15 04:09:00, Jimmy Cusick wrote:

...but to look on the bright side I put my energy into being more productive in other area's."

--- End quote ---


Right on!!...and, to borrow a verse from one of those infamous songs we use to sing "that's what it's all about". Seriously, I did not need to be distracted thinking about relationships or sex.  I needed to concentrate on ME. Not playing games or being flirty, but to be alone, without ANY distractions to my recovery. Let me tell you, I was 'boy crazy' and it was very difficult!

I was not a virgin when I came in but, like everyone else, became celibate during my enrollment. Once I graduated, I felt able to make my own choices as far as sex and relationships.  I had learned to respect myself and my male friends around me.  I remember discussing the topic w/ my Seed 'boyfriend' for many weeks before mutually agreeing to having sex.

Many 'normal' people use relationships and/or sex as a crutch, if you will, to avoid feeling pain and/or confrontation with their feelings of inadequacy.  Do not argue this fact with me, I know persons with this shortcoming.

We all know of women that are beaten but remain w/ their partners because they have no self worth and lack the courage to pick up and go.  What about the woman who is cheated on repeatedly but lets him come home because 'she loves him' and accepts his promises (again) and thinking "someday he'll change."

How about the men, whose women run their lives, substituting for the mothers they never had but wanted so dearly. These men are so insecure and in such need of being loved, they let their women emasculate them.  They have forgotten what it feels like to stand up and behave like a man.    

Combined w/ the fundamental Seed (sex) teaching and the wisdom I've gained w/ age (?), I really don't have a brain hemorrhage deciding what's best for me, be it having a little fling or choosing a relationship.

I KNOW you males are hard-wired a little different than us females,  :grin: but being able to discuss HONESTLY if you're desiring a committed relationship or just a "roll in the hay" it takes a "Man and a Woman" to mutually make that decision together.

On that note - no, the Seed didn't screw up my sex life, I did.  But, I learned how to control my feelings and channel in the right direction.
[ This Message was edited by: Robin Martin on 2004-12-15 20:49 ][ This Message was edited by: Robin Martin on 2004-12-15 20:51 ][ This Message was edited by: Robin Martin on 2004-12-15 20:53 ]

Robin Martin:

--- Quote ---On 2004-12-15 20:49:00, Robin Martin wrote:
On that note - no, the Seed didn't screw up my sex life, I did.  But, I learned how to control my feelings and channel in the right direction.

GregFL:
Sure robin I can see how abstaining for 6 months while working on yourself could be in order..now imagine you were there 10 years with the same "no sex" rule. How about 15? 20?

That is what the longtimers subjected themselves to in order to be one of the chosen ones.

Hell, I get cranky after two or three days of no sex.

 :grin:

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