Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

Dreams

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Anonymous:
The other night I dreamed that I was in the Seed again. I knew it was all wrong, but everyone else was going along with it. The staff members brought me books and newspapers to try to prove to me that it was different from the old seed. In the evening the people who ran the place locked us in a large, messy house. I tried to convince a few others to run away with me. Everyone else was too afraid and said they wanted to hang in to see if things got better. I went to the window and looked out. I saw an old man with a key ring walking away. I yelled to him that what he was doing was wrong, horrible, etc. He turned to me and yelled that he had bills to pay.
I have had many variations of this dream. some have been pretty violent. This one had a more pro-active, victorious theme.

GregFL:
I still have the occasional seed dream. The most recent one was that I went to a building in the forest, some kind of weekend retreat run by the Forestry dept> The whole thing was run on the techniques of the seed, but no one understood this and all the coercion was gone. People were motivating and then getting up and drinking cofee and milling about. I was laughing and trying to explain where it came from to people, but no one "got it".
But me.

pigeon:
When I was in the seed I would occassionally have dreams about doing drugs. Since I hadn't really done drugs before I was put in the program, the dreams were about drugs I knew little about.  Once I drempt I took speed from a toothpaste tube and I still felt guilty in the morning.

marshall:
I've had lots of seed nightmares over the years too. The worst one was the night several months ago when I first discovered this forum. Reading all the posts here caused nightmares about seed and seed staff all night long. I woke up exhausted and shaken. Brought back bad memories I suppose.

Anonymous:
I hear you there. It is very common when an adult survivors of any of these Seed based programs finds these sites.

AFter all those years, sometimes it is like opening old wounds.  But we can as a group of people sharing a common childhood experience, try to make this positive and grow from it, not wallow in the unforunate reality of what happened to us as kids.  I have seen others that do that on other sites and it is so counterproductive.  When the SDF is compared to other survivor sites like Elan and Straight, I am proud that we older Seed attendees seem to be able to put in in prospective and behind us a little better. That being said, I still have the odd bad dream about what happened and still here something within my family from time to time that causes me to bite my lip or get into a minor disagreement with someone.

Hooray for us.



gregfl

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