Ginger-Antigen,
I suspect you are one of the obsessive people you write about!
It's interesting - in my own family, I can see my brother, who's obsessively driven to succeed, to push the limits, and to win. He's a very successful journalist, and he leads an exciting life. He gets a kick out of travelling to Iraq in the midst of war or infiltrating a White Supremecist training compound. I prefer less sensational past times - playing piano, drawing, reading. I think we inherited slightly different needs for stimulation, excitement, drive. He's nationally known - while I'm respected by a small circle of friends.
My parents are obsessively driven people - extremely intense, self-obsessed. They've both been terrific successes, celebrated by all, as well total failures in one way or another.
Most of the hard core drug/alcohol users I've known are obsessive types - they go from being devils to angels with the same verve. So Art Barker, down and out alcoholic, becomes Art Barker, savior of america's youth. Do you follow?
I think at this point in my life I've had it with heroes and gurus, I am kind of drawn to the quiet people who tend to keep out of the spotlight. Maybe it's due to my own experiences.
So if you define success as acclaim, power, money - that's one way. But there are other successes that are more inward. Because I have largely 'failed' to win the big outward stuff I have looked more inward, it's more my personality.
To each his own!