Home from rehab 30 years after the seed

[Anonymous]

Just don't ever forget that the AA spawned the cult synanon which indirectly spawned the Seed.

AA has very dangerous dogma.  In a all voluntary setting, it is just annoying to the non obsessive. However, AA forced onto people and polluted into lock down rehabs is downright dangerous.

Look elsewhere, and Jimmy, forget all your rose colored memories of the seed. It sucked.

[Anonymous]

Jimmy,
I believe you need to do whatever you can to get help.  No matter if it is AA or another program.  You need to do whatever is going to make you happy and be at peace with yourself.

I also agree that you need to find other people who are going through the same things that you are.  You can learn so much and be able to give of yourself also.  I know that the more I give of myself to others the better I feel about myself.  

All of the good feelings you had about your friends at the Seed were real.  I know that I was truly loved by my friends at the Seed.

What's important is that you find help and do what you are doing now by taking 1 day at a time.

I wish you the best.

[Somejoker]

Hey, you actually trolled up a post that wasn't attacking or sarcastic. Congrats!  you now also have 90 posts!

In honor of this momentous occasion,might I recommend you choose a user name?

 :grin:

[Anonymous]

Fuck off and I mean that politely :flame:

[Anonymous]

Hey Jimmy,

It seems that your post spurred a heavy debate on the pro?s and cons of the Seed.
But that is not the point. The point is your well-being. I ?am the person who post a couple of weeks ago about my depression?s and inability move on with my life. When I posted I was having one of my low day?s and decided to let my feelings out.

 I always try to remember that life is not fair or perfect and all of us are only too human. That does not make me weak or powerless it just means we got to get to know myself better. Find out what my weak points are and what triggers them and how I can avoid these trigger points. Your goal and intention to stay sober is a good one and I think that is a good starting point to at least take pride in yourself for those noble aims. I can not post here all I have learned since my time at the Seed and all that has happened and what yet remains to happen with my life.

To be honest with- in my life I have failed in more things than I have succeeded in but, I choose to build on my successes rather than to self- destruct in my failures. To self destruct would be unfair to not only me but also to the other people my life touches on. I too choose to believe in my God and believe that there is a bigger reason for my existence and walk through this life. It is easy sometimes easy to loose hope and not see who we are and the reason why we are here. It is easy to question too many thing and become cynical but I believe these are test we are put thru as to build our character and inner strength for this life and maybe even for another life. Please remember this is just the beginning and we all have still very much to learn and grow. These are good things.

May God bless you and guide you on your way.

Please feel free to contact me if ever you want to talk.

[GregFL]

On 2004-12-06 13:54:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Fuck off and I mean that politely :flame: "

Is that your new username?

hehe.

Such anger from such an accomplished seed staffer. You must be proud of yourself.

[Robin Martin]

On 2004-12-06 17:04:00, GregFL wrote:

"

On 2004-12-06 13:54:00, Anonymous wrote:


"Fuck off and I mean that politely :flame: "

Is that your new username?  hehe. Such anger from such an accomplished seed staffer. You must be proud of yourself.

"

Greg - do you get off pushing others buttons? You need to give Anon a break, OK?

There's enough strife in the world  :roll: .

[GregFL]

Am I telling people to fuck off?

I don't think so Robin.

[Anonymous]

I can remember when I first left the Seed some years ago some of the feelings that I went through.

The first night I left I felt disoriented but at the same time very relieved. I realized that now I could make my own decisions without having to consult with anyone or receive anyone?s approval, but even with this new found freedom, I also was very scared with what the consequences of my actions could bring. After all I had a past in which I had made some major mistakes I was certain that would not survive a second go around.
I also felt that it was very important to my personal growth that I break away from the Seed and do things on my own and after all these years I believe that it was the best thing for me. I believe what caused me to grow the most was my freedom to question what I had been taught, develop things inside of me and discard things that I did not need or just did not apply to me. The one last realization that I made of myself at the Seed was that I did not want to make the Seed my crutch and I did not want to use the Seed to hide from the things I needed to go through to really grow and understand. In spite of all its imperfections the Seed had given me the tools to survive and make something of myself. It was up to me to develop these tools and carry forward with what ever I needed or wanted to do with my life.

 I must say this freedom was a double edge sword. During my post Seed years I have also experienced some of my most painful lessons, felt some of the loneliest times I have ever felt and tasted some of my most bitter failures. But in spite of all this my one true success was that I did not fall back into my old ways of killing my pain with drugs like I had done some many times in my past. (I got to confess that there were a couple of especially bitter occasions the thought did occur to me). The one mere fact that I did not fall back to my junkie mentality was the source of my biggest success. From this point I felt that I could build some true and very solid strength.  Once I felt like I could handle the temptation of drugs any other success would just be the icing on the cake.

 I do miss the camaraderie and the interaction and my friendships that I thought were so true and genuine but in the end I felt I made the right decision to walk away when I did.

[Robin Martin]

The one last realization that I made of myself at the Seed was that I did not want to make the Seed my crutch and I did not want to use the Seed to hide from the things I needed to go through to really grow and understand. In spite of all its imperfections the Seed had given me the tools to survive and make something of myself. It was up to me to develop these tools and carry forward with what ever I needed or wanted to do with my life...

 The one mere fact that I did not fall back to my junkie mentality was the source of my biggest success. From this point I felt that I could build some true and very solid strength.  Once I felt like I could handle the temptation of drugs any other success would just be the icing on the cake.

 I do miss the camaraderie and the interaction and my friendships that I thought were so true and genuine but in the end I felt I made the right decision to walk away when I did.

I could not have said it better...but I do keep trying!  

I also do not understand all the "Anonymous" posters and wonder why those do not pick a name...any name  :: to assist in communicating with "Anons"

[Tony Stark]

All that fucking place taught me how to do is passivly take a bunch of shit from everyone around me. Now, its different. I still put up with it but I'm not hopeless, or friendless, or faithless because of it. I just turned into a child again later on in years. The Seed fucking toughened me up for all kinds of abuse and torchure. Not that I believe all the shit that was said there, but t is good to be honest with myself. Drugged or not.

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
--Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor

[Anonymous]

Harley Davidson, I noticed you went to both seed straight and LIFE ,  what were some of the diferences. Was seed better or more convinving than Straight? Thanks always wnated to here from an insider that was in both. Were the personalities at Straight as "soul moving" as seed program?

[Anonymous]

Robin-  by the way, have I told you lately - you are great. ::bigsmilebounce:: Believe me I sometimes can get my buttons pushed easily.  and I react too quickly and sometimes do regret my
actions.  

Greg- I do apologize for telling you to Fuck off.
It was kind of in jest though. ::kiss::

[Ft. Lauderdale]

I now have a name - very creative - huh?[ This Message was edited by: Ft. Lauderdale on 2004-12-08 07:43 ]

[Ft. Lauderdale]

How can I change the little harry guy on 2 legs?
(and no this isn't something 1 psychiatrist said to the other) to  another icon???