Hey Stripe,
I was wondering if anyone saw that (seedation). I think I made it up, but someone may have used it somewhere. Although I don't feel wordy to be called a 'writer', I do get enjoyment out of wordcoinagization. Thanks for noticing.
My experience was a bit different. I never really felt like an addict until in my 30's when I wanted to stop a behavior, and could not. I never really identified with the 'drug addicts' at the Seed, except that I did beleive my casual drug use could conceivably escalate to a higher level. I had never even been exposed to coke, speed, heroin, and stuff like that up to that time. Watching the way some of the staff acted, kind of brain damaged, put a good scare into me for a while, and probably helped to keep my drug use reined in. So, I quess what I was thinking when I used the word 'seedation' was that my experience at the Seed slowed me down abit in the area of drug use.
As far as feeling like I was broken or damaged, I didn't and don't. That's just a theory Ginger seems to be fixated on for the last 20 years or so. I do wish she would move on from it. It makes engaging in any normal dialog nearly impossible. It always gets around to 'Thom, there is nothing wrong with you, stop beating yourself up' stuff. I'm almost 50 now, and don't really see much value in re-hashing stuff that happened 30 years ago.
I just popped in last week to wish Ginger a happy birthday, since last time I checked, she had my email address blocked, and I don't know a phone number or address, and then Greg, 'the monster at the side of the group' jumps in wanting to stir up discussions we had a couple years ago...I really don't have time for this these days. I pretty much live in the 'now' (although now and then in the then, but I won't deal with that now)
Take care, and thanks for picking up on 'my' word :wave: have a good life![ This Message was edited by: Thom on 2005-02-08 13:10 ][ This Message was edited by: Thom on 2005-02-08 13:25 ]