Author Topic: to Anon with Law Degree  (Read 18259 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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« on: November 09, 2004, 12:32:00 PM »
Anon with law degree . . .you say that ther was damage, but you are quite general in your expressions . . Can you be more specific in what ways the experience was negative for you?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2004, 12:48:00 PM »
Just now, this past weekend I have figured this out. I suppose you could call it emotional abuse or mond control- the feeling that if one doesn't lock step with the program the surely the isolation, yelling, putting down and general methods of creating such incredible self-doubt  will continue.  I was absolutely terrified every single time I had to go there. Every single time without exception. Even to this day,  when I drive by that location on my way to visit friends wholive out that way, my guts tumble to my feet.  And the building is not even there anymore.

I never really understood why my life was so hard up till now.  It's that negative conditioning inserted between childhood and budding adolesence. Some people truly might have been addicts and needed that kind of mind restructuring, but I truly don't belive I was one of them,nor was my brother.
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Offline Antigen

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to Anon with Law Degree
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2004, 01:10:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-11-09 09:48:00, Anonymous wrote:

Some people truly might have been addicts and needed that kind of mind restructuring, but I truly don't belive I was one of them,nor was my brother.


Thank you! And neither were we. I'm so glad to hear that this forum, contentious and hostile as it can be sometimes, has been useful to you and yours.

Among the many misdeeds of British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0807059099/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'>Mahatma Gandhi, My Autobigraphy, p. 446

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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2004, 01:43:00 PM »
I didn't know about this forum until this AM.  Googled the names Art Barker and The Seed. No to be crude, but what a treat it is to find out I was not the only person who was cured (read: fucked with) on some very basic level for having a problem that did not exist.  So sorry that I could not see my way through this so many, many years ago.  But its better late than never.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2004, 02:21:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-11-09 10:43:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I didn't know about this forum until this AM.  Googled the names Art Barker and The Seed. No to be crude, but what a treat it is to find out I was not the only person who was cured (read: fucked with) on some very basic level for having a problem that did not exist.  So sorry that I could not see my way through this so many, many years ago.  But its better late than never."


and THAT, my friends, is what this site is all about.  Glad you found it, hope it helps to give you some sense of peace. :wave:
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Offline GregFL

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« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2004, 04:55:00 PM »
I am so glad you found us. Welcome to the Seed discussion forum.

I ask two things of new people. One, try to refrain from personal attacks in this forum, and two..you gotta dig deep and tell us a seed story.

Welcome once again.
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Offline Somejoker

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« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2004, 05:08:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-11-09 09:48:00, Anonymous wrote:

  I was absolutely terrified every single time I had to go there. Every single time without exception.


Me too. I was just sure they were gonna stand me up and humiliate me, berate me and embarrass me.  My 14 year old physc just wasn't up to it and truth be told it scarred me up pretty good. I spent years trying to understand what happened to me.  

This was the real damaging part of the program in my opinion, not the rare instance of a kid getting slapped around or tackled to the ground, but the very real threat of being personally rippped apart at any unsuspecting minute for nothing.  It truly was scary.

To our new poster, If you want to talk, email me at [email protected] with your number and I will call you. I would love to speak to you.

My user name here is GregFL and/or Somejoker. Somejoker is my moderator handle.


[ This Message was edited by: Somejoker on 2004-11-09 14:11 ]
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2004, 05:45:00 PM »
This just came together for me this past weekend.  What prompted me was a question posed to me by the psychiatrist (new dr/pt relationship) What he asked me was whether I thought I deserved, for brevity's sake, "to be happy."  The intial, logical/cogniative repsonse is yes, but I also added that my life choices paint a very different picture. After much reflection it occurred to me how horrible that Seed experice was.  I was a young adolescent when I got put there.  the end result is that my self-image was shaken and stirred so much I have had no idea what I really wanted - I just knew that deep down inside, I was never really never good enough, never ever measured up to those people who always stood in judgment on the sidelines - SAFE from attack.  
Whew.  All these years I thought I was crazy. Turns out I was just a brainwashed kid.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2004, 09:55:00 PM »
remember the raps about "never being able to leave the seed", about how the songs would forever play thru your mind and you would know what a failure you were?

To those that accepted this dogma and kept the seed close to their heart, perhaps they didn't feel damaged.

To those of us, especially those of us that were young and fairly innocent, the seed was a terrifying bully that not only imprisoned our bodies but also our minds and turned all our friends..and most insidiously..our families..either against us or into allies of the program. We could not even vocalize our true self or dare to even think about our situation for fear of someone's "awareness" catching us and being started over and forced back into public confessionals, strange locked bedrooms and humiliation and degredation.

It was a trap with no escape and the casualty was often our identity and self worth.

Someone recently asked me in a condenscending way if it was so bad why didn't I run. This is the epitomy of arrogance to blame a forteen year old child on his abuse because he didn't run from it.  

gregfl
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Offline Stripe

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« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2004, 04:46:00 PM »
How is it that people I know, who sat right there with me, got "come down on" suffered that same rejection, etc.,  can't see the effects of this place in their lives today?

For lack of a better term, I was "outted" as a Seedling by one of my business associates - and I never ever told anyone I was in that place. Ever. I mean, after 30 years, if someone who was on the outside can look at you, listen to what you are describing as a general experience, and  ask, "Did you go to the Seed?" then there must have been some stronger programming or hold on me that I ever realized.

If it's that obvious even after all this time, how is it that my other seed friends,  whom I truly count as friends, just don't get it?  Lives have been so screwed up by that place and its passing on to yet another generation of children being programmed. Maybe its a different program name , but the end result is still the same...and yet they still continue to deny what happened to them.
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The person who stands up and says, ``This is stupid,\'\' either is asked to `behave\' or, worse, is greeted with a cheerful ``Yes, we know! Isn\'t it terrific ?\'\' -- Frank Zappa

Offline Antigen

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« Reply #10 on: November 11, 2004, 08:25:00 PM »
Well, I think the therapeutic community model is very, very effective. Not at all therapeutic, mind you. But extremely effective.

Some people resist it in various ways, others seem to have no resistance at all. When I first got out of Straight in late `82, HRS was doing a huge investigation. They placed me in a group home in Sarasota when I was extradicted from Georgia for the "crime" of being a chronic runaway. And they provided me a lawyer for court.

They also asked me to testify about abuses I had wittnessed and I declined. At that time, I didn't think I'd seen any real abuse.

I didn't even think I had been abused when I got pinned to the floor for a couple of hours for refusing to apologize to Group for splitting or when I got shouted at and shoved around a timeout room for a few hours by a tag team of fellow group members. Though I rejected the program in some ways, I was obviously a whole lot more effected by it than I thought. I saw these things in the paradigm of program dogma; i.e. I did the necessary things to get sat on and marathoned. If I had said what I was told to say, I could have avoided it and so it wouldn't be "fair" to claim victim status.

Some people snap out of it, others gradually regain the ability to think for themselves. I know a couple of people who pretty much snapped out of it 20 years or more after graduating. They're often among the most resentful because they've spent their best years thinking and acting according to a code that turns out to be invalid. So they suddenly realize that shunning those friends and love interests, painful as it was, was for nothing. That they've missed out. It's a very cruel joke.

Q. I simply ask, why is PUNISHMENT the solution with regards to the narrow group of behaviors which encompass illegal drug use....?

A.Pharmaceutical Business, both legal and illegal, run by the same people either way, money coming to the middle from both ends.  Bush.
Anonymity Anonymous
Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

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Offline billie the dwarf

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« Reply #11 on: November 17, 2004, 06:45:00 PM »
hi boys and girls, new person here. did some checking...  do any of you know about mk ultra? or the monarch mind control protocols? are any of you aware that these seed-type programs grew out of a mass psyops on the citizens of the u.s. to purposely destroy their sense of worth and to program you for failure? there is a hierachy that follows from the top down, stretching from the n.s.a./ c.i.a into churches like synanon later the seed, straight, etc., etc., etc. the original funding came from the dupont line... strictly illuminati, folks. why program for failure? they want their chattel to be good little workers and sparklebox dullards so you are easily controlled. period. i'm sorry for all of us who went through that negative experience, but take heart we're waking up now to the strength of that externally applied programming and how it has massively affected our lives. congrats to all here who are shedding the fragmentation that occurred through the abuses of that. dudes, i know this might ring a bell for you because if you actually google these pieces it will fall into place for you. think... a gov.  and illuminati sponsored top-down program to dumb down the masses, strip them of their personal power, make them dependant on external authority, shame them into submission and ironically enough ,shut down any budding higher psychic senses they had naturally from birth.
  dudes, art barker was agency all the way ... a goddamn chump who was also controlled from his superiors. look at the facts before  you make a judgement on this. you were programmed with mk ultra and monarch psyops protocols which we are now waking up from. are you pissed? i am. it's like, get over the little seed. the real meaning of that experience is that it was a huge centrally coordinated program, nation-wide, that you hed a personal experience with. what a bomb huh? what a goddamn monster.
  i was in dania seed in 72-73. took way too long to "get off my program". i never said much. i got "stood up"  once for not having any vibes! fcuk those clowns! reason for no vibes was passive resistance. i couldn't get with the program. when they finally let me off i had no reaction and that barker dress-alike kenny asked me why. i didn't answer him. i went to a coupla oldtimer meetings and never looked back... until now- with these revelations of it's true pure evil nature.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #12 on: November 17, 2004, 11:09:00 PM »
Billy, it is so difficult to believe you are talking this way. I remember a day that I was graduate and you came into The Seed and Art had you sit up on a stool, in was in th 80's and all os us were persuaded to respect you as if you had all these unanawered questiopns for us. you were a living myth at The Seed. believe me everyone talked about you, staff certainly did not get tired of praising you amd your abilities. It is so weird to hear you now.Please be clear about your messages because your last post was a bit rambled. Where do u stand with everything?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2004, 11:15:00 PM »
i was in dania seed in 72-73. took way too long to "get off my program". i never said much. i got "stood up"  once for not having any vibes! fcuk those clowns! reason for no vibes was passive resistance. i couldn't get with the program. when they finally let me off i had no reaction and that barker dress-alike kenny asked me why. i didn't answer him. i went to a coupla oldtimer meetings and never looked back... until now- with these revelations of it's true pure evil nature.

"
[/quote]


Oh my god this is realllyy sacry shot . He is right!!!!
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Offline billie the dwarf

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« Reply #14 on: November 17, 2004, 11:25:00 PM »
hi again all you waking angels.  i just wanted to say that i would have run but i had a broken leg while there, a cast from crouch to toe, bless you greg, for this forum. very important.
 i wanna be an ass for a while . you don't hafta post this post.
 STAFF MEMBERS AT THE SEED FROM LATE 72 INTO EARLY 73.  (BARKER BITCHES)
   
  1, kenny, a medium sized blonde guy always on the boys side scrutinizing the seeds. germanic, asshole. withholding piss reuests. torturer. i laughed my ass off one day when naziboy showed up in some of my new clothes- stolen in inspection got a seed job in stimson factory, pompano. stamping, govt contracts. kenny's dad was my foreman. i went to shake his hand the first day on the job and he grabbed my hand, twisted it outward exposing my inner forearm and said " just looking for tracks". a dick. kenny tried to copy artie's dressing style. so did some gay looking john denver style christian guy. clowns. parrots.
  2. dana, a black guy looling like link on the mod squad. he had the disdainful glare down. fcuk, he didn't even know me yet he radiated hate to me. he led the "upstairs group" meets some. in training.an effective prick
  3. fat darlene. ahhh a nice rap, darlene... then, BOOM,stand up and get a new ass whole. true schitzoid agency conditioning. very effective.
  4. some monkey looking black chic who always sang amazing gra... and did morning programming i mean raps. she showed up in one of my shirts. when she walked by after her inspiring crap,i said to her" that shirt is mine" everybody around heard me.she lost her resolve for a split second. bad me and another rebel usta sing harmony to everyone elses melody during songs. you shoulda seen staff faces flashing around looking for the nonconformi9sts.
  5.some junky guy with a walleye. sell you out in a heartbeat.
  ^. john(walking death) the former(yeah right) junkie. a true reptillian.
  6.art barker. dressed in white.clown.  south florida cia asset for mk ultra program.
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