Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Thayer Learning Center
14 Year old Dies at THAYER LEARNING CENTER
tlcrescue:
pia, to check private messages on here, there is a button under the forums link to the left titled "private messages". just click it...it may ask you to log in again.
Cruella:
"I was just wondering if your child put you through so much the last year, did you ever stop to think what you might have done in her earlier years or present that might have contributed to her attitude.
Maybe you need to look at yourself in the mirror and see if maybe there is something you need to change instead of sending your child off to be "corrected" by someone totally unqualified."
Point taken. I have more children than just my daughter. All the children live under the same rules at home. The other children don't have a problem with it at all. My daughter decided when she turned 16 that rules (any rules) didn't apply to her. She had this 18 year old boyfriend that helped her a lot into getting into trouble (fear of getting pregnant twice). They ran away to the French Quarter to make a 'life' for themselves. The laws in this state require a parent to actively participate in locating and bringing back your child who has run away (under the age of 18). She ran off several times after this and swore she was doing drugs (although now she claims not to have touched any thing except for alcohol). She was taken to the ER 4 times. We've called the police on her various times for her violent behavior (threatening a younger sibling), running away, playing the suicide card, etc. She made it to class 5 times last quarter. (Five days out of six weeks.) She was in JAC once. She was in the mental hospital twice. She was able to manipulate mental health doctors into giving her anti depressants. We made counseling appointments for her, she acted up the days she was suppose to see her, those appointments were cancelled as my daughter ended up in the mental hospital (playing the game). The list goes on and on.
It is easy to say to a parent, 'why didn't you parent her better'. We are talking about teenagers here, they think they are invincible and don't have to live by the rules. With counselors (doctors) and police departments on different pages, it's a wonder our children can manipulate the system. They learn it from their friends. In some peer groups this behavior is expected. On the other hand, when a parent steps in and takes that child away from those groups---those so called friends never call to see what's up.
These children make choices on their own, some know the consequences of these choices, some gravely don't. We had to stop her from making choices that would ultimately take her to the grave.
Sometimes it's not the parents fault children turn out the way they do. Sometimes it is. What could I have done differently? Take her out of public school and place her into a small ratio (military based) christian school. Where respect for yourself and everyone around you is re-enforced with what is taught at home. That's what I would do differently if I had the chance to do it over again.
It's too bad that abuse runs wild everywhere. Just recently, we had a teacher accused of having an affair with one or more of his students in a public school. Kids are still shooting each other on school grounds. Bullies are still taking potshots at their victims. It's around no matter where you go. [ This Message was edited by: Cruella on 2005-03-17 07:49 ]
ExSgtRocha:
I have one thing more to say to Cruela and then I'm done. If you think Thayer is going to turn your child around, make her have respect for herself and others and teach her to follow the rules. YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN. The only thing Thayer is going to teach her is how to be better at what she already knows. I will not waste my energy on you anymore. You will be the one to suffer the repercussions of your actions when your daughter returns home. Good luck, you will need it now more than ever.
Antigen:
I just feel very sad for this kid. "Playing" the suicide "card?" It's really frightening that you think this way. And, from what I've heard so far about Thayer and the Bundy's other enterprises, she's not going to get any help there either. Just more grief.
As to what you could have done differently, who the hell knows? It's not about that. I know people who had great families and hit the skids anyway and others who's homelife was hell but who grew up just fine. As regards your daughter, here's a new idea for you; IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!
You could do something differently now. How about taking her out of the care of these people who just recently let a kid die in their care. Read up on some of the facts coming out of that incident. They told everybody this kid was FAKING just like you think your daughter was FAKING a suicide attempt. And when they call you (if they even bother) and tell you she's at it again, obviously you'll take their word cause that's what you want to believe.
I hope the kid makes it through this ordeal. I hope the boyfriend waits around, too, cause she sure as hell doesn't have a mother to come home to.
Religions are all alike; founded upon fables and mythologies.
--Thomas Jefferson, U.S. President, author, scientist, architect, educator, and diplomat
--- End quote ---
Anonymous:
Now just hang on one moment here! "Cruella" writes "She was able to manipulate mental health doctors into giving her anti depressants." Huh? In case you didn't know, anti-depressants do *not* have any recreational/abuse potential. They don't get you high. They're not the objects of drug-seeking behavior. So what reason on earth would a kid have to "manipulate" doctors into giving them to her?
It seems to me that if the doctors at the hospital administered anti-depressants to her, they must have diagnosed her with depression. Unless "Cruella" subsequently took her daughter to a good pediatric psychiatrist who, through proper testing protocols, managed to rule out depression, there's no reason to think the initial diagnosis was wrong.
It sounds to me like "Cruella" simply doesn't *want* to believe that her daughter could have any problems other than simple refusal to kowtow. She's apparently concluded that her daughter was simply faking symptoms of depression, yet nothing she's posted indicates that she's even remotely qualified to make that determination. The diagnosis of depression is part of the practice of medicine, and anybody who tries to make/refute that diagnosis in another person (including their own child) without being themselves a qualified medical professional is practicing medicine without a license.
This "I know better than the experts" attitude is really at the core of the problem with all the "lock-up schools." Most of the reported deaths have been kids who had real medical problems (both pre-existing conditions and injuries incurred during incarceration) which were ignored because people with *no medical qualifications whatsoever* took it upon themselves to judge the symptoms as malingering. That is simply *not* something that an unqualified layman can judge for him/herself.
What got me following this whole area was my interest in pseudoscience and medical quackery. Lock-up schools are, along with "attachment therapy" (does the name Candace Newmaker ring any bells? If not, stick it into Google), the really dark side of the whole "alternative medicine" movement and the mentality it represents. The underlying characteristic here is the "privileging" of gut feel and "common sense" (which in many cases is more properly called _prejudice_) over detailed knowledge and the scientific method.
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