Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
Portrait of Art
Anonymous:
I will try to answer your question Anon.
I have been asking this question to myself for a while and a good while this really frustrated me.
I believe the origin of this problem if you can call it a problem can be traced back to my parent?s relationship. My father was an alcoholic and had very volatile relationship with my mother who on occasions would spill over to their kids. I don't believe my father was a bad person but a person who was very frustrated with many aspects of his life which resulted in his drinking.? The apple does not fall far from the tree" so to speak, and I can remember at a young age (pre Seed) not wanting to be that way. I can remember not wanting to hurt anyone especially a women because I remembered my mother?s pain with this whole ordeal.
At the Seed we were taught not to make excuses for ourselves and to develop a sense of independence. Something I think I took to an excessive extreme and need to pull myself back and rethink this through and find a happy medium.
Can this be a direct result of the Seed? Maybe, but I remember this problem was around before the Seed and persist after I left the Seed. The Seed did touch on this subject and at least made me aware of myself and my inability to be intimate and the Seed did everything within their power to try to brake down these barriers that I had. The fact that I'm not married does not mean that I did not date after I left the Seed but it seems that all my relationships fell apart. Some were my fault other times it was the other person?s fault. One thing I do think of is trying to construct rather than destruct and I take a persons feelings and life to be a very important thing so, when I do date someone I take much more seriously than I guess the average person does. I always found it very strange how a person can be so in love with someone, break up with that person and a couple months later are just as in love with someone else. I have never been able to be that way.
So, going back to your original questions is this the fault of the Seed? I would say no due to the fact that I take responsibility for my actions and will only throw the blame on myself. Remember most people that did go through the Seed did get married and probably share the same ratio of divorces and successful marriages as the rest of the population. (Only a guess on my part). The answer to this question might be as simple that I just haven?t met the right person. Remember marriage is not for everyone as society has brainwashed us to believe with all the bullshit Hollywood love stories. (I?VE always been a sucker for a good love story).
GregFL:
Thanks for the answer. However, you must admit that your dating all occured after leaving the seed. Maybe your inability to keep relationships outside the seed is a result of being in an exclusive group so long and not left over from your childhood? This is possible. You see, I struggled for about 7 years after leaving the seed and even then after I got married but eventually learned the right way to deal with people.
Sure the average person that went thru the seed probably has been married and had kids. I have.
In this context anon We are specifically talking about you chosen ones...the Homo Superior...the "cream of the crop". You guys that stayed around for years and years, and we are talking about your relationships while there perhaps 5, 10 , 15 or 20 years later but still in the seed.
It seems that almost to a person the following is true. Keep in mind this is while at the seed, not after leaving. Seeing as many were there for 20 or thirty years, it is your entire adult life.
You only dated with Art's permission and then only seedlings.
If you married, it was only with Art's blessing.
None of you had kids.
If you found a mate outside the seed, you were no longer one of the inner circle types however you may have been able to maintain friendships within the seed. YOu were no longer "there".
Most of those that stayed for years and years that didn't marry another seedling are still single (but not all).
Now, I am sure there are individual exceptions, but Am I wrong? If so, someone straighten me out. IF I am right, someone tell me why. This really is a phenomena that is very interesting.
Anonymous:
DAMM Gregg that was a quick post!!!! LOL.
I can only speak for myself on that last post. Remember I was not considered a long timer by the Seed standards of the 80's and 90's.
Some people did get married at the Seed to other Seed people for the most part are still married to each other. I never delt with the actual dating procedure?s for the Seed so I will have to plead ignorant to this topic, it would just be speculation on my part.
Anonymous:
To ask someone out or be asked out was such a mission. You had to be there for a long time
That you were responsible which meant if Staff liked you> The only place in the world that you had to ask for permission from Staff which meant you had to admit that you had your eyes on someone which also meant that you might have been accused of having your head in the gutter or maybe you should be thinking of more important things other than dating.> Just to get to that point meant you had to go thru all that anxiety and wait and see how staff will react to this. Then worry about being rejected by the person who was probably thinking about the same anxieties you were going thru if they were asked out. Then of course was the proper way of acting while you were on the actual date assuming that you even got that far. It was far easier to just suppress your feelings and pretend that none of this bothered you.
Somejoker:
Unbelievable.
Am I to understand you may have graduated the seed 8 years past but if you wanted to remain one of the "cream of the crop" you had to ask staff for permission to date,and it better be a seedling, and there was a good chance they would say no?
WOW.
[ This Message was edited by: Somejoker on 2004-10-25 15:19 ]
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