well y'all, I hate to say this, but I did give in. I went in at 17, turned 18 six days after I "enrolled". Was threatened with a court order if I did not enter willingly. I was told that I could leave when I turned 18. To my disappointment, I was not allowed to leave. So on my 6th day (my birthday), asked to leave was told no and promptly bolted for an exit. Of course I was gang tackled and restrained on the concrete floor by 5 goons. These assholes then got to fuck w/me for about 2 hours or so while I was pinned to the ground. That was the beginning of my 37 day fight. It tried to bolt one more time and then just settled into being a jerk as we were called back then. To break me, the staff sent a few guys further along to fuck with me non stop. I got to sleep on a terrazo floor for that 37 day period with just a sheet. No pillow, blanket or mattress. I was put on food rations, and a mind fuck. My oldcomer's loved to kick me to wake me up. One of 'em even would beat off in front of me and told me it was cause he loved himself so much.....YUCK! Around day 40 on my first phase, I realized that many many kids were not going home and I got scared that I'd waste away. So, I played the game and went home on my 57th day, if I remember correctly.
Why did I give in? I wanted to go home, go back to school, sleep in a bed, eat decent food and and drink water at home, I got tired of being beat up in group, at my oldcomers house and at the drop offs. I remember being at the 85 day jerks house as a drop off and his asshold brother would beat me with a pillow while he put baseballs or someother very hard objects in the pillow case. I knew that I would be treated far better at my house, so I gave in. I fucking hated that place.
BTW - the 85 day jerk was ALWAYS good to me. He actually tried to protect me from his evil brother. Thanks Bob - I will always be indebted to you.