Author Topic: Common Ground  (Read 1408 times)

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Offline Withdraw

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Common Ground
« on: October 16, 2004, 03:10:00 PM »
I stumbled to this site during a monent of " What the heck is wrong with my brain" as many have done before me. I have back -read alot of posts, I see several topics that I can relate to. I think this is a emotional phenomenon (sp?)

  There seems to be alot of controversy about "oldcomers", "misbehaviors" etc. I have never had the courage to discuss Straight w/ anyone. Yep I touched on it w/ friends before, but never really was able to tell how it damaged my life.

  I was a "non-conformist" true blue, I sat on my hands, I hit anyone who tried my "will". I tried to not disrespect anyone, I didn't ~act out~ to just anyone. If you respected me, I in turn gave that back.
 
  I must admit after reading all  the posts ,Memories have flooded in. There were some decent conformist in Straight, (They always told me to conform,it will get me out faster than rebelling)So I assume they too were not conforming in their own way. I respected that as their coping defense. On the other hand those who restrained me, spit in my face,knuckled my back , attempted to motivate my arms, took me into tiny rooms w/ several "oldcomers" to blast me , wouldn't let me out of the Host bedroom to use the bathroom in the middle of the night,refused me medical treatment, made me lie to appear honest,ridiculed me for trying to tell my truth, I will never forget.
 
 So many memories have returned that I can't even type here, for they are to horrible to discuss publically at this time.
 
 However I can move forward knowing they too were dealing with this horrific experience in the way they could handle emotionally. In each secenerio (sp?) We have come away from Straight with our own personal emotional issues, most of which we have in common. Being in Straight set us apart from the rest of the natrual world. We are a product of "peer induced brain -altering thought patterns" That makes us all diffrent and unable to function ~normal~. Some are angry , some are lost in their own past, some are ~em-powered~ by the sheer abuse they did to others, some are/have been suicidal. Facts are we are all affected.
 
  I am grateful to see their are people out there trying to Stop this from continueing. There is a common ground we can meet on. Let those who are angry have a place to let that out. Let those who ~were in control~ have a place to take responsibility/or feel they did some good. We all have a diffrent sort of response to Straight, but the over all factor is many of us were degraded, humiliated,abused, and ultimately damaged. There must be a place for us all to "share" our story and what has become of us as individuals.
 
  As a teen in Straight, this was almost impossilbe to come away from there as a better person for being there...
 
  I went back at 16,it was first on my list when I got my drivers liscense. I sat in the waiting area and asked to speak with ( wow wish I could remember her name Exec staff woman short brown hair, tall thin, she was terribly emotionally abusive to me in Springfield Va. 86') I asked for my records, I was escorted off the property and told the police would be called.I knew I had been wronged , its a real tragidy (sp?) that my parents didnt believe me. I was forever mentaly and physically damaged.

  Has anyone ever brought up the Pervert Dr. (someguy)who always wanted you naked. I wonder often what happened to all those people I knew there.As I am sure many have the same concerns as I. There are many people I would love to hear from and know they are ok. (Springfield Va. 4-86 to Halloween 86.)I left Straight as a clown , ( I semi-conformed on halloween to wear Make-up! Who knew I'd be Withdrawn that day.)  :wink:

  We are all "broken" in our own ways by being in Straight. How can we all share that here w/o being condesended by or to  others here? I ask that you all embrace each persons experience as someones reality and not Mock them for describing it.

Yes Straight is in the past, but for many it still haunts us. And to my shock and despair there are still programs out there  the same as Straight. What a tragic and horrific reality those New phenonenal teens must be going through, There must be a way to stop it from happening. I hope the message is getting out  to un-suspecting parents that they are forever harming the well being of ther children.

Sorry this is so long, This is 18 years of hell. All opened up by this site. Thanks for listening and making a place for me to come to get some valadation and hopefully some closure. Peace2all
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Froderik

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« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2004, 11:05:00 PM »
Quote
I went back at 16,it was first on my list when I got my drivers liscense. I sat in the waiting area and asked to speak with ( wow wish I could remember her name Exec staff woman short brown hair, tall thin, she was terribly emotionally abusive to me in Springfield Va. 86') I asked for my records, I was escorted off the property and told the police would be called.

Suzanne Byrd...?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Withdraw

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« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2004, 11:22:00 PM »
That sounds so familar.. I think that is correct. It is amazing what I tucked away from the time there. Thanks
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2004, 12:06:00 AM »
Hi, except for the dates you were in there I almost thought I might have known you. I will say sorry on behalf of those who did you wrong. Personally, I never yelled at anyone in an intake room. However, I believe that I helped to restrain or "motivate" "misbehavers". I was a "misbehaver" for a brief time period, but they had something over my head that made me afraid that even when I turned 18 I would be court-ordered in there so I better do as directed. The terror of NEVER being free -- some kids were in there for years on end -- and the desperation of incarceration, the daily humiliations and rage at being imprisoned and completely controlled by petty-minded peers did something to my mind, and I in turn became a perfectionist conformist. People will say things about their abusive peers, but I think we realize nevertheless that everyone was in hell.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Withdraw

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« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2004, 10:57:00 PM »
To correct  my post.. The memory has returned, It was Leslie Murd*n. She was evil to me.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Withdraw

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« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2005, 06:19:00 PM »
Hiyas, After being flooded w/ memories and emotions I needed a LONG break from this forum. I'm not sure why I popped in today , other than to make it all real again. I tend to forget why I am so ~not ok.. but this visit has brought it all back. I read alot of posts and had to go back and look at my own. It still amazes me so many people have the same on going issues getting though every day as I do.

So I thought posting here on my own thread would remind me of who I am and Help others  reflect on who they are. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own emotions I forget there is a common ground we all walk upon. Knowing you are walking with me makes the never ending recovery from Straight a little easier.

Thanks you all for posting here, even the ~ TaRdS. The Tards who post here prove to me how much we all hurt. And how many are actual suvivors.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2005, 06:28:00 PM »
Did you ever know a girl by the name of Alicia, who might have been in there when you were, who copped out and stole a car. We have a mutual friend from whom she sought help on this cop-out. PM ex-prisoner if you might know who I am talking about. Thanks.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Withdraw

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« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2005, 06:36:00 PM »
I can't PM  since you aren't logged in. But yes I can say  my 2 closest friends while in straight were Alicia P. and Deanna P.

 I wish to know how they are. I think about them an aweful lot.

edit >I see now your user name, thanks [ This Message was edited by: Withdraw on 2005-09-05 15:37 ]
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Offline infanalyst

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« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2005, 07:02:00 PM »
Alicia P., I haven't seen her in many years...

I remember going to the Dead Show in '89 at RFK with her and a few other former inmates. Those were some good days AFTER I got out of $traight. I was actually "sober" when I went to the show, but I think being surrounded in the atmosphere gave me a nice "contact buzz". Oh well, I can say I saw Jerry before he died, and I actually remember being down in that sea of the general admission crowd about 50 feet away.  :smokin:  :wave:

Aloha!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Brent Lewis
American "War on Drugs" P.O.W.
5/17/86-12/2/87
Straight - DC (Springfield)

Offline starry-eyed pirate

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« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2005, 09:51:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-10-26 19:57:00, Withdraw wrote:

"To correct  my post.. The memory has returned, It was Leslie Murd*n. She was evil to me. "


Yeah, that's what i thought a while back.  i feel ya withdraw.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline starry-eyed pirate

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« Reply #10 on: September 05, 2005, 09:58:00 PM »
Right On Sister, i thought you were talkiun' 'bout L.M. before you said it.  i remember her.  Blew my mind.  Your post is so beautiful.  i was there too.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline starry-eyed pirate

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« Reply #11 on: September 05, 2005, 11:24:00 PM »
i remember alicia P. 'n' Suzanne Byrd too. Ms. Byrd was the executive director of str8 Springfield.  She stayed low most of the time but would make an appearence ever' now 'n' then.  She was pullin' the strings all along.  i have no mercy for her.  Well actually i choose to be free of her.  She has the right to decide her own destiny as do i.  

Alicia P. i forgive, i have mercy on.  i was there. i watched as she railed into the clueless.  She was jus' brainwashed too.  Everyone got the right to dedcide their own destiny.[ This Message was edited by: starry-eyed oirate on 2005-09-05 20:32 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end.  People are not commodities.  When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.

Offline the wet noodle

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« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2005, 12:59:00 AM »
Wow. This site brings back so many memories.

Leslie Murden ended up marrying another exec staff member by the name of John Roberts (he had a shiny face and weird hair). He didn't start at Straight until somtime in 1988. Anyway, she is now Leslie Roberts and works with him at another treatment center in Virginia... i think it is called "New Beginnings" she was such a bitch. I keep meaning to drop in on her and say "hi" She would always tell people trying to memorize the steps... "you could memorize the words to Stairway to heaven...then you can memorize the steps" I always hated her because she once told me that she loved and cared about about me and just wanted me to be happy. Then one day she called my house to speak to my dad (about $) after I had copped out for the 4th time and my dad had taken me back. She was a cold bitch to me...fuck her...she was soooooooo friggin 2 faced.

I used to hang out with Alicia P. when I copped out. I recall that when she was on staff she would date (not me I swear) underage cop outs...my kind of girl!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
our Anger is a Gift

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #13 on: September 06, 2005, 02:31:00 AM »
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"Leslie Murden ended up marrying another exec staff member by the name of John Roberts (he had a shiny face and weird hair). He didn't start at Straight until somtime in 1988. Anyway, she is now Leslie Roberts and works with him at another treatment center in Virginia... i think it is called "New Beginnings" "
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #14 on: September 06, 2005, 04:49:00 PM »
Oh...one more thing...I got so caught up in thinking about LM that I forgot why I wanted to post in the first place.I am very moved by your post Withdraw. What stuck out at me was what you said about your parents not believing you about the damage that Straight caused. I think that the topic is worthy of a new discussion thread...so I have started one called "They turned our parents into the enemy"
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »