I stumbled to this site during a monent of " What the heck is wrong with my brain" as many have done before me. I have back -read alot of posts, I see several topics that I can relate to. I think this is a emotional phenomenon (sp?)
There seems to be alot of controversy about "oldcomers", "misbehaviors" etc. I have never had the courage to discuss Straight w/ anyone. Yep I touched on it w/ friends before, but never really was able to tell how it damaged my life.
I was a "non-conformist" true blue, I sat on my hands, I hit anyone who tried my "will". I tried to not disrespect anyone, I didn't ~act out~ to just anyone. If you respected me, I in turn gave that back.
I must admit after reading all the posts ,Memories have flooded in. There were some decent conformist in Straight, (They always told me to conform,it will get me out faster than rebelling)So I assume they too were not conforming in their own way. I respected that as their coping defense. On the other hand those who restrained me, spit in my face,knuckled my back , attempted to motivate my arms, took me into tiny rooms w/ several "oldcomers" to blast me , wouldn't let me out of the Host bedroom to use the bathroom in the middle of the night,refused me medical treatment, made me lie to appear honest,ridiculed me for trying to tell my truth, I will never forget.
So many memories have returned that I can't even type here, for they are to horrible to discuss publically at this time.
However I can move forward knowing they too were dealing with this horrific experience in the way they could handle emotionally. In each secenerio (sp?) We have come away from Straight with our own personal emotional issues, most of which we have in common. Being in Straight set us apart from the rest of the natrual world. We are a product of "peer induced brain -altering thought patterns" That makes us all diffrent and unable to function ~normal~. Some are angry , some are lost in their own past, some are ~em-powered~ by the sheer abuse they did to others, some are/have been suicidal. Facts are we are all affected.
I am grateful to see their are people out there trying to Stop this from continueing. There is a common ground we can meet on. Let those who are angry have a place to let that out. Let those who ~were in control~ have a place to take responsibility/or feel they did some good. We all have a diffrent sort of response to Straight, but the over all factor is many of us were degraded, humiliated,abused, and ultimately damaged. There must be a place for us all to "share" our story and what has become of us as individuals.
As a teen in Straight, this was almost impossilbe to come away from there as a better person for being there...
I went back at 16,it was first on my list when I got my drivers liscense. I sat in the waiting area and asked to speak with ( wow wish I could remember her name Exec staff woman short brown hair, tall thin, she was terribly emotionally abusive to me in Springfield Va. 86') I asked for my records, I was escorted off the property and told the police would be called.I knew I had been wronged , its a real tragidy (sp?) that my parents didnt believe me. I was forever mentaly and physically damaged.
Has anyone ever brought up the Pervert Dr. (someguy)who always wanted you naked. I wonder often what happened to all those people I knew there.As I am sure many have the same concerns as I. There are many people I would love to hear from and know they are ok. (Springfield Va. 4-86 to Halloween 86.)I left Straight as a clown , ( I semi-conformed on halloween to wear Make-up! Who knew I'd be Withdrawn that day.) :wink:
We are all "broken" in our own ways by being in Straight. How can we all share that here w/o being condesended by or to others here? I ask that you all embrace each persons experience as someones reality and not Mock them for describing it.
Yes Straight is in the past, but for many it still haunts us. And to my shock and despair there are still programs out there the same as Straight. What a tragic and horrific reality those New phenonenal teens must be going through, There must be a way to stop it from happening. I hope the message is getting out to un-suspecting parents that they are forever harming the well being of ther children.
Sorry this is so long, This is 18 years of hell. All opened up by this site. Thanks for listening and making a place for me to come to get some valadation and hopefully some closure. Peace2all