effects of brainwashing on teenagers

[dragonfly]

[shady grove]

I also really wonder how much everything I do has been greatly influenced by straight. Especially the way I interact with others. Do I show compassion appropriately? Do I overreact, am I stringent? I definately have a black or white thing going on. All or nothing.

It often sucks alot.

I was a major "headgamer" in straight. I beleive I went there with the wiring for OCD, and then that environmnent exploited it shamelessly. It has been a MAJOR struggle in the last 16 years...medication, therapy, self hatred, etc.

Incidentally, there are many others here besides VA people that will understand your issues perfectly. If anything, Fl and NJ programs were worse than ours.

I am very thankful I never had to meet that Miller Newton fucker!

[Anonymous]

I wrote this in the TBPITW string:


 
something like that
 
just wondering>

So yes I totally know what you are talking about only thing different is never took medication

Sometimes I wonder if I have been depressed for about the last seventeen years. I currently still experience a low to medium level paranoia/anxiety around people in general. This anxiety has been worse lately and when I ask myself what it is that I am SO anxious about, it is a straight type of thing like "they are going to ostracize me, all of them" or they are going to yell at me, humiliate me, sum up my character based on a mistake and that will be it, no one will like me." A nebulous fear of PEOPLE in the general sense. Certain contexts are much worse than others, like when I am forced to interact with a set of strangers for an extended period of time.

I have happy things in my life, and a lot to be thankful for, but it has been a long hard road since Straight.

I think you might be right about the OCD thing, too.

[Froderik]

This topic is thought-provoking to say the least. Allow me to digress a little though, if you could even consider the following to be digression:

It seems to me that certain things people will say and do can trigger an immediate recoil from me, and right away I flash back to gut reactions I had to the assholes in there. If someone starts to try to tell me what to do or how to do it, to start to try to put me down and act like they own the place, I don't hesitiate to go off on them, meaning that the least I will do is to start cussing at them. Now you could say that this would be just about anyone's reaction. And I wonder.. Is it just..whatever..the fact that I think of str8 immediately says something.

I'll tell you though, I'd just as soon not waste my time and emotions around holier-than-thou, "what did I ask you to do?" types of fuckheads. :grin:

See? there I go... :lol:

[ehm]

Yeah, I suppose it's had a small effect on me the past 18 years of my life...

The only difference now is that I know the triggers, and why they're there, so I have the ability to work around/through them. It's hard to work around steaming hot boiling blood in combination with humiliation and terror, so mastering the art of cognitive behavioral, through therapy has been important for me. Otherwise, I'd just be an asshole the rest of my life.

Losing the "No one understands me" attitude helps too.

Keep close to Nature's heart... and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.
-- John Muir

[Withdraw]

I posted "I do ok " now in the Va post. That means I do ok. not great.. Straight haunts me every single day . I have ongoing depression w/ major anxiety. Whats interesting though, I feel somehow better today after reading this board. Somehow I don't wonder if ~Only I was affected~  Being in Straight made a whole new host of emotional diffuculties yet to be properly named.. After reading here , I see that "Straight Suvivors" have very simalar experiences then me. I do not believe in medicating , so I don't, /shrug. I find a way to just go on dealing w/it all on a daily basis. Bottom line is Straight F*cked me and alot of others up. Like it can't be fixxed or something, But knowing it was "Real" and not embelished by my imagination is comforting.                    I was in Va's Straight from 4-86 to 10 -86 so I probably know you Dragonfly, It was a bad place w/ bad people running the show. Whats sad is most of the staff were just other people F*cked up by "the program " also, So I try to remember that when I think of the staff that sticks in my mind. There was a time I could tell you how many bricks were in every wall and tiles in the ceiling and floor. After being there , there is no way I can be like the average person  ( who never endured anything like straight). It seems to me being a " straightling" is a whole New emotional entity in it self, with a whole set of issues that come up for all of us.

[Anonymous]

On 2004-10-14 15:38:00, shady grove wrote:
 



I am very thankful I never had to meet that Miller Newton fucker!"

It's not too late to meet him.  Let's go to his house and say "hi".  I'll introduce you.

[Antigen]

On 2004-10-15 22:07:00, Withdraw wrote:

Whats sad is most of the staff were just other people F*cked up by "the program " also,

My sister in law was a Seed staffer. She was also, litterally, the girl next door. So I knew her for a very long time. I guess she got off of staff around `75 or so? Just judging by the age of my nephew, that's my best guess. In `82, I showed up at her and my brother's door unnanounced one day, having split from fifth phase. She took me in till I turned 18. Seems that she and my brother had already concluded that Straight was a good many degrees more fucked up than The Seed they remembered.

But there were those on staff who seemed to get off on the sadistic pleasure of it all. Deluded or not, they were cruel and probably still are.

We ought to be grateful that our government monopoly schools are such a failure. If today's 18 year olds could do arithmetic, they'd be out buying enough rope to hang everybody over 40.
--Alan Handleman on Social Security

[Anonymous]

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... forum=9&17

[Dr. Miller Newton]

On 2004-10-16 08:22:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

On 2004-10-14 15:38:00, shady grove wrote:
 





I am very thankful I never had to meet that Miller Newton fucker!"

It's not too late to meet him.  Let's go to his house and say "hi".  I'll introduce you."

Drop on by anytime, Druggie.  I'll keep an intake room open just for you.

[Anonymous]

OK, so I am new to this board. Is the Dr.Newton registered here some deranged x-straightling who is completely not ok ,stalking people here by portraying to be Dr.Newton ? Or is it even worse, is it "The Dr. Newton" still stalking children because of some obscure perverted need to control and hurt children for his own petafile (sp) joy? Because that is whack!

[Antigen]

Or it could be satire.

"...In general, it's just an overall sign in America that there doesn't seem to be as much respect for authority figures, and that's a bad trend. It just strikes me that people can say whatever they want to and get away with it, and that's not good."

--But David Murrell, exec. dir. of the Florida Police Benevolent Association

[Anonymous]

On 2004-10-11 17:38:00, Brown wrote:

"I am tired of reading and hearing about all of this stuff that has supposedly happened in these programs.  I read through alot of these forums daily, and i respond to a lot of them too.  I think that a lot of the people that post on these things have no idea what they are actually talking about in the first place.  



I graduated from the program, and while I was in no way happy about being there.  Or even happy about having to stay to graduate, I did it, and no matter what anyone says, there are NO "screams", pits, hard restraints in which people get slammed through tables or onto concrete.  All of the stories like this that are posted all come from either parents that are mad because they sent their kids to the program and then there kids failed when they pulled them.  Or they are from the kids themselves that make stuff up, because they are angry that they couldn't make it through.

"

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... forum=9&17

[Carmel]

What's more likely?

The Good Doctor here at Fornits is harmless....just agree every now and then that you indeed want to sign yourself in to his new Straight 2.0, give him a big fat Love Ya, and then blow it off.

He is one of our more illustrious trolls here on the Forum!

What kind of humanism expresses its reluctance to sacrifice military casualties by devastating the civilian economy of its adversary for decades to come?  
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0684855674/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'> Henry Kissinger

[Anonymous]

UNFORTUNATELY, Carmel IS NOT one of our more illustrious trolls.  Carmel is happy with getting the stinky smegma slime onto any page that he feels anyone will look at.  Way to go, wastoid. Welcome to first phase, punkass.

And, what's harmless is that you are in cohorts with folks who take information from people who come onto this forum who have been Straight and you exploit to whatever extent you are not divulging.  That's not to say that you in particular do it, Gaping Pussy, but you agree with people like Wes and Greg and Ray about their information gathering methods.  So, while the world is free to look at your open third and fourth legs, the world is not free to view your methods on data gathering of people who are genuinely trying to heal and examine themselves.  The planet indeed needs less feks like you and your kind.  Its just like Ginger telling a bunch of people she was never in Straight, and then suddenly changing her story altogether.  Very strange and sad the lot of you.