Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones
Are you a believer in Cedu who was there in the 80's under M
RMA Survivor:
Went to RMA in June 1984, so I guess that qualifies me to post here.
First off, Cranberry Bread probably referred to the disgusting habit at RMA of taking anything left over from other meals and making bread out of it. Your morning surprise was finding out what wonderful things they had managed to do with bread that day. Cranberry Bread was generally served every morning they didn't have something nasty like oatmeal from the previous day to add to the mix.
We had a 13 year old at RMA when I was there. Finding out there was a 12 year at some point kind of clears up a question we have had for 24 years. Once upon a time, shortly after the 13 year old had completed the Final Voyage, Dan Krumptitch kept referring to a time when he took a 12 year girl up the mountain and back. But he knew this girl there was 13. Was he senile or referring to the actual 12 year old from years before? I am not sure when Dan started leading Wilderness expeditions, or when he arrived at RMA, or if he ever worked at CEDU. But we've always wanted to know if he had made a mistake or not.
I guess I skated through the program for the first six months because I wasn't really fucked up to begin with, I tended to follow rules no matter how stupid, and just got along. Sitting back and watching things, I was able to figure out pretty early that I was in a strange place. But someone once pointed out that it is easier to believe people are trying to help you, then to accept that they are hurting you. I tried to just do what I could to get through, always longing to be elsewhere, never feeling like I belonged there, but happy to have made some friends. But I knew I was being brainwashed. And that was hard for me to deal with. I remember several times suddenly becoming self-righteous, pulling other students up, actually putting in rap requests, taking care of my shit, and then realizing how fake I was being and wondering what made me do it? How I was lying just to get accepted and get rewards. Maybe it was because I saw every older student do the same thing and get away with it, get those rewards and actually enjoy some breathing space and trust?
I agree that what we learned could have been learned much more easily and without so much anger and venom. I had solid friendships before I arrived and they still exist today. RMA taught me nothing about friendship I didn't already know. My parents taught me strong values early in my childhood, what was proper and acceptable behavior. RMA gave me nothing in that department. The only tool RMA really gave me was the ability to analyze everyone I meet and size them up in an instant. And you know? Ignorance is bliss in many ways. Not being able to just relax and enjoy other peoples company is something I miss. Now when I attend a party, or family gathering, or meet new people, all I do is see how fake they are. I can't just accept them. And I hate it. It truly makes forming new friendships hard.
The I & Me was such silliness I could never buy in to it. Being a very intellectual person, I have always allowed my emotions and instincts to help guide me. Without my I, there would be no way for me to understand my Me. They are not separate. We have a right side to our brain and a left side. But it is still one brain. Your feelings are emotions are not contained in your belly or gut or heart. It all comes straight out of your head. And so all the psychobabble was lost on me in many ways.
I guess by the end of my stay there, I was half in and half out. I thought I had learned things that would be useful to me later on after I had left, and I wanted to believe my going there was somehow going to mend my relationship with my family, but I am not a believer because nothing changed for the better in my life after I left. So despite two years of hard work, doing what I was told 95% of the time, and not fucked up to begin with, I left there and had nothing good coming. My family disowned me for the most part twenty minutes after stepping off the stage. Right there in the dining room at a booth. I wasn't welcome to come home. So clearly I wasn't "fixed", certainly not in my parents eyes. And yet I wasn't fucked up when I went there. I had missed homework assignments and my parents were frightened to death that I would never graduate high school. Yet when I did, somehow I wasn't fixed. Despite my being extremely loving and caring and all touchy-feely, my parents thought what...? To this day I have no explanation for why they didn't welcome me back in to the fold. Did RMA not update them on my progress? My many successes? The answer is NO, they did not. My parents were told I was essentially failing all my classes, yet I had nearly straight A's. I got a 1590 on the SAT's and my parents were told it was an 800. They managed this by sending them only my Verbal score. They played me off on my parents for two years to keep me there and the checks rolling in. And it took years for my parents to explain this to me, or for me to understand it after many long and very painful discussions. But they don't want to accept it. They have trouble understanding how horrible RMA was and the damage it did, because as parents they don't want to see that they might have made a mistake that caused pain and harm to their child. I can accept that on some level.
So I was there in the 80's and I can tell you I am not a believer. I wasn't much of one while I was there, I was trying to be one around graduation and shortly after, but when I got back in to the real world, I could see that nothing at RMA was going to help me survive or succeed. And nothing from there ever has.
Anonymous:
Yep, a gal in my dorm really was 12. It must of been horrible for her to be there so young.
I'm sorry Dan and Mare died. I liked them. But, if they really became that abusive then oh fucking well.
Karma has a way of cleaning house.
try another castle:
I think Im one of the few people here who didnt give a fucking shit about mare and dan. I thought mare was kind of a cunt, actually.
Still, it's sad for their kids. Losing one parent is horrible enough. Losing both is a real tragedy.
RMA Survivor:
I thought only Dan had died. Motorcycle accident. I wasn't aware Mare died as well. Very sad for the children if this is the case.
try another castle:
--- Quote from: "RMA Survivor" ---I thought only Dan had died. Motorcycle accident. I wasn't aware Mare died as well. Very sad for the children if this is the case.
--- End quote ---
mare died before dan. cant remember why.
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