Author Topic: sqwawking (talking behind backs)  (Read 2940 times)

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Offline shady grove

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« on: September 22, 2004, 10:41:00 AM »
Hey I think it's totally uncool for people to be posting first and last names of clients on this thing. Just because you want to know how "Joe Schmoe" is doing after all these years doesn't mean the whole world should get to know that he was in a "drug rehab" as a kid and is now fucked-up and crazy. Even the ones who you may still be pissed off at today. Remember, we all delt with the trauma differently and most of us were innocents.

Even Junior staff. Sure they signed on for $5.00/hr, very lucrative, but most felt they were useless doing anything else. Hell, some actually wanted to help people, and thought they were.

The only names who I think we can post are those of senior and executive staff. They new what they were signing up for. It was their careers.
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Offline beth1222

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2004, 11:02:00 AM »
I agree.  99% of the people I know now are not aware of where I've been, nor do I want them to find out...especially not by stumbling over it on the internet.  I don't have a problem posting on these forums, but I sure as hell am not putting my last name on here.  Alot of people are ok with it and thats fine, but alot of peole are not, and thats fine too.  So try to consider the other person before posting their name.  Maybe just their first name and last initial w/the year they were in.
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Offline RTP2003

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2004, 11:21:00 AM »
I think if they were on Staff (Jr., Sr., or Exec.) then it's OK to mention their full names.  Those people caused a lot of suffering, regardless of their motives (you know the saying about good intentions and the infernal freeway construction, I'm sure) and if someone wants to call them out by name, I, for one, have no problem with it.  Here, let me show you what I mean:  Steve Meade, Kevin Lowe, William Rollins, Roger Amundsen, Kurt Jones, Ralph Hernandez, Mark McCowen, Todd Toth, Jim Sailor, and few names I forget but will post when I remember them are all a sick bunch of power-crazed assholes who abused a lot of kids---myself included-- during their tenure as Staff members at Straight, Inc.  I'd like to see their addresses posted, too.  There's a few of them that need to be "confronted".
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Offline Woof-a-Doof

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2004, 12:39:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-09-22 07:41:00, shady grove wrote:

"Hey I think it's totally uncool for people to be posting first and last names of clients on this thing. Just because you want to know how "Joe Schmoe" is doing after all these years doesn't mean the whole world should get to know that he was in a "drug rehab" as a kid and is now fucked-up and crazy. Even the ones who you may still be pissed off at today. Remember, we all delt with the trauma differently and most of us were innocents.



Even Junior staff. Sure they signed on for $5.00/hr, very lucrative, but most felt they were useless doing anything else. Hell, some actually wanted to help people, and thought they were.



The only names who I think we can post are those of senior and executive staff. They new what they were signing up for. It was their careers.



"


Guilty--- How do I fix what I have done, or is it possible to fix what I have done?

In my exuberance/excitement of finding this forum with it's rather prolific traffic I acted before thinking. Upon reading your post, I immediately saw my error. It is of no consequence that the persons name I mentioned is/was a dear dear friend of mine and my only desire was to find out how I might be able to make contact with this person. I sincerly regret what I did and I wish to right the wrong I did. I see how I can go back and edit the post, is it possible to edit the "subject line"? Will give it a try...

I made an attempt to delete the entire post, including the "subject line"...my efforts failed...seems most painfull lessons are learned early[ This Message was edited by: Woof-a-Doof on 2004-09-22 09:50 ]
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Offline Anonymous

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2004, 02:23:00 PM »
I am heartless.  If you were over 18 and signed on to work at Straight then kiss my ass.  I  have every right to biotch about you now.  Suck it up i say.


Thea
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Offline shady grove

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2004, 05:07:00 PM »
Woof-a-doof, cool name and welcome. Hope you find the friends you are looking for. As you can see on the main page, MANY people read these postings, so likely your friend will.

Hey, lesson learned...doen't "awfulize" about it :smile:

Thea...I was never staff. VERY far from it  :rofl:

Even tho I detest many I was in there with so long ago, I think about myself in their shoes, and if it's fair (yes, fair) to publish any names of innocents. Just my $0.02
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Offline RTP2003

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2004, 12:07:00 PM »
Steve Hagan was another abusive Staff member at Straight, Inc. when I was there from '82-'83.  In all HONESTY, he wasn't as bad as some of the others, i.e. Kevin Lowe, William "Sweet Willie" Rollins, Steve Meade, or Roger Amundsen, but he was on Staff and therefore was an abuser.

More names when I remember them.




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Your sponsor says it's OK for you to drink[ This Message was edited by: RTP2003 on 2004-09-23 09:08 ]
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Offline RTP2003

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2004, 12:10:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-09-22 14:07:00, shady grove wrote:


Even tho I detest many I was in there with so long ago, I think about myself in their shoes, and if it's fair (yes, fair) to publish any names of innocents. Just my $0.02"


If they were on the Staff of Straight, Inc. at any level, then by definition they are NOT "innocents".
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Offline shady grove

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2004, 02:29:00 PM »
I totally understand y'alls point that say "staff of any kind? fuck 'em"

But I just want to point out that becoming a staff trainee and then becoming junior staff is part of the manipulation bullshit...it was part of the program. So you've really bought the idea that you're gonna die and loose your whole family if you don't start believing all this bullshit, to survive, mind you. You graduate, etc. Next logical step...staff, if you're asked. Right? You're still a brainwashed kid. You don't know better. And you have no real skills (accept being 'bust-ass'). All you know is this subculture, language, etc. I don't mean to say, aw...poor staff, but it's still part of the victimization, no?

I say this b/c I never graduated. I simply could not force myself into this way of thinking. And boy did I give it a good try. 2 years, never above 3rd and that was for 2 weeks. So, to people like me, 4rth and 5th phasers are also satan incarnate if we go by the logic of those posting before me. I mean, you could run away, why didn't you? Hell, that's what I did everytime I reached a phase. And believe me, most of my trauma stems from the actions of phasers (guided by staff, of course). When I think of staff members like Steve Turney and John Gugliamo I feel a sickened, fearful feeling, but when I think of getting humiliated pubicly, screamed at, spit on, pushed around, restrained (for stupid, mindless shit) by those 5th phase fuckers FH, JP, and JG, I feel rage, and then I weep for my poor innocent hurting 15-year-old self. So they weren't on staff, they made a choice to do what they did, for whatever reasons, and deserve to have this haunt them for- ever, right? Actually I don't really think so.

Behaving this way was how they learned to survive. They were victins victimizing victims and herein is the insidiousness that was straight.

No, I don't know where to draw the line of where the victimization chain of command stops. But I don't think this is such a black and white issue, either.
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Offline Anonymous

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2004, 04:09:00 PM »
Let's see.  I didn't ask to be there and be tortured, but they did it anyway.  

They didn't ask for thier names to be posted years later?  Too bad so sad.  No one said life is fair.  Actions have consequences.
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Offline shady grove

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2004, 06:09:00 PM »
deaf ears
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Offline Sophie

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2004, 06:35:00 PM »
I believe I have mentioned it before but here goes again. I was on day five or six of fifth phase and a staff member approached me and asked me to become a fifth phase staff in training.  I did it...because I did everything they told me to do, thats how I got to fifth phase in the first place.  I was super freaked out because I had heard about other 5th phase staff in training folks getting STARTED OVER for messing up in one way or another. I can tell you with absolute certainty that I did not yell at one soul while in this position.  I did however recognize that there were children there that definately did not have drug problems and I mentioned that to senior staff.  I had no control over who was in straight.  I had no control over how other staff members behaved.  I graduated on day 62 of fifth phase....terrified...the only thing that gave me solace was knowing I would be coming back that Monday to "work".  It was an excuse to not really leave group at all. I know that I did not have a power issue or the desire to brutalize children.  I was scared for my own life and didn't know how to live without being in straight.  I cannot speak for other people on staff... some people are just plain crazy and do all kinds of wacko stuff.  Oh..did I mention that I was "overage"?  
 I think I managed to stay employed (I think I made $4.75 an hour or something)for a few months and then I quit after being confronted by executive staff because I was dating a "cop-out" and a current phaser saw us together somewhere and told someone "I can't say but I saw a staff member holding hands with a cop out."  It was as if I had commited an unspeakable crime against humanity...a "successful graduate" was seen with a "cop out" and the cop out wasn't dead and didn't have needles hanging out of his neck and a beer in his hand.  It was proof that you wouldn't die if you left the program and that could not be endorsed. I was told to end the relationship or quit my job.  I quit that day.

  Not all staff members were demon spawn...Just like not all kids who go into straight are  druggies, its very short sighted to look at things in such a black and white way.

I believe that grace lasts as long as ignorance.  I was not aware of the damage straight was doing...I was under its spell, as soon as a light was shown on the controlling, psycho nature of the program (by being called in by exec staff about my boyfriend) I split.  
So, in that respect, yes I believe I was "an innocent".
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Offline 85 Day Jerk

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #12 on: September 23, 2004, 06:39:00 PM »
I have named lots of names in my posts.  Lots of names, and not once has anyone made an issue of it.  It must be because they are too engrossed in my writing and in what I have to say.  That was always the rule with me in my program.  I only adhered to two rules........Rule 1 was Honesty, Rule 14 was Empathy and Sensitivity.  To hell with the other 39, because they no longer mattered since I was honest and put myself in the other person's shoes.  That is how I am when I post other people's names.  If anyone has ever been hurt by my posting their name, I am sorry, but if they were a part of my life, the name is going down.  This is just a web site, not CBS news people :scared:  :scared:  :scared:
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Offline shady grove

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2004, 08:23:00 PM »
Only 40 rules? Are you kidding?
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Offline Anonymous

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sqwawking (talking behind backs)
« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2004, 04:41:00 PM »
I don't care if they were staff, client or a fly on the wall if they were cruel just because then I certainly am not worried about their privacy now.  Sometimes time does not heal memories, and some people deserve to be remembered for what they were and more than likely still are.
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