Ginger, I would love to, but it would take too much time. I really don't know if I have time for this. There is no debate in the therapeutic community about it. It has to do with boundaries, shaming, and inappropriate confrontation. Any textbook on therapy will tell you. I'll summarize:
1) Therapists and counselors are to maintain appropriate boundaries at all times. This includes appropriate self-disclosure. Self-disclosure must be minimal, so as to keep the focus on the client. A therapist/counselor who self-discloses too much is using the client to process his own material. Propheets are a splendid example of this. Staff in groups such as propheets have been described go over all their "dirt" from their pasts, sometimes yelling and crying. This is the POLAR OPPOSITE of what therapists are taught in school. Therapists and counselors are to NEVER do anything of the kind, as it a) places focus on the therapist, b) causes the client to question the therapist's judgment and mental health, and c) sanctifies bad behaviors - "so-and-so used to engage in casual sex and use drugs and he turned out okay..."
2) Shaming is never appropriate - many of these schools use shaming as a behavior-shaping tool. The old addage "kids live down to what you expect of them" applies here. A therapist/counselor is never to shame a client. Clients shame themselves. Even a client who does not express remorse will NOT gain insight into wrong behaviors by being shamed. Shaming will cause such a person to become defensive and it will be destructive to the most powerful tool you have - the therapeutic alliance. Kids who naturally feel guilt and shame will feel much worse when others shame them. This can cause them to become more depresesd and sometimes, suicidal. Many of these schools use peers to shame the kids - you see this in the raps. What actually is happening is psychological bullying. The kids don't gain meaningful insight from this - they only learn to play the game so they can earn privileges and get people off their backs. Irnoically, they learn to manipulate. Intersting.
3) Appropriate confrontation is gently directing the client to HIS OWN insight into something. "You said you felt guilty about stealing but you're planning to shoplift with your friend tomorrow. Talk to me about that." Many of these schools yell in their confrontations, or more insidiously, take a smug, smart-ass attitude and not engage in discussion. There is a way to handle a kid who is blowing off. Taking a smart-ass attitude escalates the kid's rage. Sometimes staff will take a smart-ass attitude and then refuse to discuss the issue with the kid. I have witnessed staff standing with feet apart, arms folded, silently looking into the eyes of a kid who is going off. It may look like the staff is being calm and the kid is out of control, but actually what this is is a subtle and psychologically sadistic maniuplatin on the part of staff. It confuses the kid, because he's wondering how he is blowing up while the staff is quiet. He starts to doubt himself - wondering why he's yelling and screaming at a staff who is saying little or nothing. This is truly insidious. It causes the kind of self doubt that is helpful to no-one. The kid forgets that it is the staff member who intentionally set him off and then stood back to watch the explosion. This power-play is of particular concern to me as it does cause the kid to doubt his understanding of social interactions and he fails to recognize that it was intentional baiting and psychological torment by the staff entrusted to care for and help him. Either one of these things - yelling at the kid or engaging in this psychological crazy-making is detrimental to emotional growth and development.
The bottom line here is that these kids will all grow up, regardless of what you do. They will all become adults. You don't want them to make decisions now that they will pay for the rest of their lives and parents send them to these schools because they are afraid this will happen. For that, they have a purpose. But, to infuriate a kid, to escalate emotional upset, and to model these behaviors of poor boundaries, shaming, and inappropriate confrontation gives the kid more work to do when he leaves. A lot more work.
I recall posts by the ottawas - the real ones. Remember how furious everyone was at them? Remember how superior, smug, and infuriating ottawa5 was? Her attitude was quite a bit like some of these things I have outlined here. And you all were ready to hit her because of POSTS! Imagine being a kid in a facility and this person has total power over you. How must that feel? I can't imagine. I'll tell you this - the goal of therapy should be client empowerment. Trying to break a kid down is just plain wrong.
I hope this helps. I have to get back to work now. Just know that there is NEVER debate in the psychological community about these things. Whenever you are asked, just give them this post. Maybe it will help. If it does not, you're talking to a hopeless case.
