abuse testimony

[Anonymous]

Anon from springfield, here. Tried to post on testimony page but, is blocked for registered users. Spent all this time typing, so I'm sending it here.

I saw lots and lots of blood stains on that tile floor. Once during executive rap saw an overage confront a very big guy from Va Beach (before they got their own straight) who was about 16 or 17. We'll call him AR. He was MISbehaving and the older, smaller guy was screaming at him. AR swung at him with all he could and the guy just flew. I swear that is one of the most gruesome sounds I have ever heard. Found out later the small guy's maxilla was completely fractured. I mean his whole upper front dental arcade and bone snapped off. He came back a long time later looking pretty bad, needed surgery, etc. Some new executive, John something, tried to get in there and help, he got hit too. Thinking back, I think alot of the newer execs left after only a short time when they realized what they had gotten themselves into.

Saw lots of kids get restrained in pretty sadistic ways. Towards the end of my 2-year tenure, kids started doing this head/neck restraint thing. Guys on every limb, one behind, and one holding the head down with chin on the chest. After several minutes, hours of this, my impression was that it began to hurt alot. But the neck would be pulled down harder if the child attempted to even negotiate mercy or bathroom. Eventually a staff member would show up and elicted a helpless plea from the child and he would be allowed to stand...red faced and tears streaming down. I felt so much pity for those guys, no matter what they did to "get themselves" into their predicament.

This is why when I "fucked-around" I was passive. Simply doing the bare minimum to not elicit trouble. If I was going to act-out, it would be in a passive way such as just letting my body go limp. I was very scared to be hurt like those other guys. Another way I MISbehaved was to begin punching myself in the face. Once I began punching the floor, and Steepleton asked me to go ahead and punch the block wall at the front of group. I obliged him only on the condition that everyone turn around. Swollen knuckles for some time. My form of rebelion was commonly called being a "pud". I think this means flaccid penis.

I have many other abuse stories. Almost all of which were from other kids. That's what's kept me from being able to blame Straight for so long, but they/it let it happen. Allowing children to be in charge of other children.

Many of my abuse stories are more mental/ emotional. Like the tasteycake song. Anyone remember?

Also anyone remeber what the seven consequences were. I got them when I was in there like less than a month.

1.Must say "by the courtesy of my humble and heartwarming hosthome" three times before picking up anything. I mean each bite of food.

2.Military showers-water on 30 secs, water off 30 secs, water on 30 secs.

3. Four hours sleep per night.

These are all I remember, but was subjected to more, anyone remeber?

This is when my headgaming began. Wonder why? ::

[ehm]

In Dallas one of the things they used to do was stick tampons, and dirty socks in the mouths of the kid getting restrained to shut them up. I saw a lot of blood and wounds happen there too.

If the natural tendencies of mankind are so bad that it is not safe to permit  people to be free, how is it that the tendencies of these organizers are always good?  Do not the legislators and their appointed agents also belong to the human race?

--Frederic Bastiat -- 1801-1850

[Scarstruck]

Thats one of my most vivid memories is the sound of chairs being broken apart( they interlinked via hook and clasp between the chairs~ Why? I do not know and I have never seen plastic chairs that hooked together before or since then ) *They probably had some sad sack of shit Host dads welding those fucking chairs together for them ...

 Oh yes anyway it usually started with something like ...a gung ho kid sticking his hand in someones face ( you know the face forward gesture) or the knuckle down the back routine...

  Strange thing is I remember the sound more than the visual. I think it was because we were supposed to stare forward..
 But I remember the sound of chairs crashing and breaking apart and people wrestling followed by screaming followed by "Lets have a song...face forward!"

 I also had a newcomer that somehow got a lightbulb out of the socket while we slept (bunk beds in the room made this easy nopw that i think about it) and carved himself up pretty good.

 My parents were in from out of town, and my mother recently told me that she was friends with the boys mother and was ordered by staff to not relay the messge he had done this, nor was he given med treatment.(one of the many incidents that raised red flags to my parents)

 Also they had a girl in the time out room for days and  she wrote song lyrics and drew pictures in blood all over the walls (she later commited suicide)

 Thats all for now as Im not in the mood to strain memories out today~

[Scarstruck]

By the way I recently relocated back to the Dallas area and am going to take pictures of the Richardson building when I have time....

[Carmel]

I remember that chair sound vividly.  I also remember having to instantly turn around, face forward and sing my guts out with the rest of the group in order to drown out the screams. Singing and crying.

It always made me wonder...our building was part of a office business park...and as I knew it, we had at least one neighboring business that backed up against the group room wall.  I wonder what those people made of all the screaming?  We had a regular crew of sheetrockers in the group room at least once a week...I have always wanted to go back and see how many sheet rock patches I could count.  Group went on as usual when they were in there too....I wonder what the hell those guys were thinking.

I never "quit working" as they called it, but I was part of many incidents where I was attacked or next to someone being attacked.  Near the end, we were all drafted as restrainers because there were days when more kids in group were trying to run than their were oldcomers and staff to stop them.  We were also confronted and set-back on our phases if we defended ourselves against someone attacking us, or fought back.  You were just supposed to wait intil someone pulled them off you.

One girl bashed my head into the concrete parking lot and gave me a concussion, and not for one moment did I let go of either of my newcomers beltloops for fear of being confronted.  Thats how afarid I was.  I wasnt allowed medical help either, except for a Senior staff member that quietly approached my host mom and told her to take me to the emergency room if necessary.  She wouldnt do it, and my host sisters were against it too.  I spent the rest of the night having blackouts and blurred vision.....all while reading MI's and making lunches.

The problem with the "teen help" industry is that it's a bad "solution" in search of a problem.

http://fornits.com/wwf/bb_profile.php?mode=view&user=943' target='_new'>Julie C.

[kpickle39]

. . . is the sounds of children screaming; I still hear it today in my mind when I think about straight.  It is a sound that I wish I could get rid of.

[ehm]

My God, Carmel! You could have died from a brain embolism! Terribly neglectful. The entire program was abuse and neglect.  It?s just sickening. I was thinking today how staff used to scoff at all the girls that were carving into themselves daily, like they were lepers.  These poor young girls, who were just taught to hate themselves and they still ended up caring so much about what staff thought. They?d act like they didn?t, but they were aching for approval from them, and staff knew it, and used it against them. Our deepest insecurities, and fears we their most powerful weapons. They intentionally hurt us to make us want their approval even more. It?s so sickening the egos that all of the staff had too. The only staff that seemed to have any compassion were Sherri Oliphant and Kathy Crable. Even Kathy got too cocky for her own good though, and it was so unbecoming.    

When Plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in a society, they create for themselves in the course of time, a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that glorifies it.
--Fredric Bastiat

[Sophie]

I believe the most abusive thing that happened to me was the terror that was instilled in me around telling the truth..the WHOLE truth.  The scouring of my brain and every thought I had and the fear I felt when I remembered something I hadn't said out loud yet.  I remember "getting honest" and feeling as worthless and ashamed as I every felt in my entire life... and confused about why people were angry with me when I was now telling them what they wanted to hear.

This is one of the most damaging things to my psyche and has made the biggest impression.  I am hyper vigilant about honesty and am compulsively ...almost..boundary-less when it comes to telling people what I think.

I gratefully avoided physical abuse by staff as I was overage and did not misbehave...I was however puched in the face by numerous other terrified and angry children who I would still to this day like to punch back in the face.

If anyone out there was a "misbehavor" in this way and punched the people sitting next to you..could you please explain to me why you did that?  I think if I knew more about it I could erase some names from a list I keep in my head of people I would still like to harm.

Thanks!

[Trekker Jag]

If anyone out there was a "misbehavor" in this way and punched the people sitting next to you..could you please explain to me why you did that?  I think if I knew more about it I could erase some names from a list I keep in my head of people I would still like to harm.



Thanks!"

I don't understand why they would attack someone at random, particularly when there were so many deserving targets.  I generally only fucked with dickheads that were poking me in the ribs or back.  I'd act like I was motivating and give them an elbow to the jaw--but only if they were fucking with me.

[Sophie]

Nope, no poking for facing forward. I didn't do any of that stuff. I think staff sat me next to those kids because I was overage and wouldn't hit back..hence, less restraining..I don't know. Thanks for your response.

[85 Day Jerk]

........captive joyless singing was one of the first sounds I heard when I came in for my intake that saturday morning in 1978.  I was left in the room with a 4th phase staff trainee that looked like a gorilla wearing a polo shirt.  Every now and then I would hear the strangest sound.  It sounded like a large flock of birds of some kind was flying around inside of the building.  Once I was led into group, I saw where the sound was coming from.  I was fucking speechless.  This was just too goddamn bizzare for me to handle.  I went 9 solid days without motivating.  My mom had drained my bank account to help pay for my program.  There was no way in hell I was gonna flap my arms like a fuckin chicken over this shit.

The first asshole that fucked with me on my second day rammed his whole fist down the back of my pants while walking me to Guys Medication line.  On the way back I bulled into his shoulder and purposely walked him face first into a support column.  One of my favorites in the Milton Roy was to ease up behind some dickbrain going apeshit to get called on and sitting on the very edge of his Samsonite rental chair like an Arnold Horshack on acid.  After making sure no one was looking my way, I would pretend to sneeze, lean forward and grab the back legs of his chair and yank it out from under him.  After awhile they got wise and just had me sit in the back with no one around me.

The biggest sound I remember is the sound of them huge ass roof compressors kicking in when they turned the air on for Open Meeting.  It was the only time we got air.  The parents all thought we were glad to see them.  Bullshit on that, we were glad not to be sitting in our own sweat.

Morgan Yacht only had a/c in the front offices.  They had to have a specially souped up PA system to drown out the noise of the many large fans that were set up.  I remember some nights the amplifyer would actually pick up the ghost signature of 98 Rock and they would have to use a battery operated bullhorn instead.  That shit was funny as hell watching some little biddy bitching out her kid.  I remember one night a lady did'nt know how to work it so I blurted out, "Give it up, we got you surrounded!"  That earned me a trip to the think room, but still made everyone laugh.  Them damn rollup doors had an ominous sound too.

When we got them piece of shit church pews, the sound of that wood splintering and the fiberglass popping off the floor sounded like ........hockey, only they did'nt have hockey in Florida back then so we could never describe it accurately.

But, the best sound I ever heard was this day in High School when I got pissed off at the instructor and threw a book against the chalkboard because they were taking one of our new presses away for another school.  The rest of the class started hooting and cheering and somebody said, "Alll--riiight,!  he's become one of us now!"  I had been 7 stepped for less than a month.

[misbehaver]

I was similar to trekker jag when it came to swingin' and stingin'. If someone put their hands on me, I responded with greater force. The silly fucks that thought I'd forgotten who restrained me paid later for their actions. I usually tolerated the belt loop grasp because it meant that I was going to be allowed to piss or eat. Of course, if that person had harmed me previously, I was obliged to deliver injury.

I've always wondered what mindset was required to sign oneself in as an adult...? I know some of the people were court ordered, often stepping on the necks of kids while gliding thru Straight avoiding jailtime. Some vermin even stuck around to claim a clipboard and join the Jr.Staff. Reprehensible and deserve no quarter. Jason[ This Message was edited by: misbehaver on 2004-09-09 17:35 ]

[Scott D]

I remember that like it was yesterday......Anthony punching Matt so hard. I often think about Anthony as we were pretty good friends(he was my o/c than I was his). He was  w/d I think or perhaps copped out? I hope he survived all his demons what ever they may have been or are. Never heard much about Matt after I got out. I'm not sure who you are as I may or may not have still been there when Glenn invited you up to punch the wall. Few faces went thru my mind when I read your post but.....dunno for sure.

You are right though in the fact that we all were so young and clueless to be restraining people the way we were told to. I hope and pray that I didn't personally hurt or scar anyone emotionally from anything that I did at age 14 &15. I truely thought that our lives depended on that place and that everyone including me would be dead if we didn't graduate. I truely believed in Straights "tough Love" even when I hated it and feared it. If you remember me and I treated you bad in some form, please forgive me if you can and know that I was just as scared as you were. I don't recall abusing anyone at least not physically...but there are things that I don't remember about the place to so I question it at times.

Sincerely,
Scott D.

[Anonymous]

On 2004-09-09 16:57:00, misbehaver wrote:

 I know some of the people were court ordered, often stepping on the necks of kids while gliding thru Straight avoiding jailtime. Some vermin even stuck around to claim a clipboard and join the Jr.Staff. Reprehensible and deserve no quarter. Jason[ This Message was edited by: misbehaver on 2004-09-09 17:35 ]"

You are correct, sir!  I know of one staffer who was avoiding jail time for sexual battery--what genius thought "Hey! Let's put him in charge of some kids!"

[Anonymous]

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