Why I Post Anomalously

[Deborah]

I'm not sure what causes you to imagine I'm a 'program parent'. Possibly a desire to confuse others and distract from the topic? I can't take credit for that one, but think it was an intellegent response.

[Anonymous]

Note For Devlin Graves

Mr. Graves, you could not have made a better case for posting anomalously than your most recent submission.  

I assume from the demeanor of your posts, you are a teen-ager or young adult.  What you may not fully appreciate is the impression your posts have on adults.  Far from having us think badly of teen recovery programs, we tend to think that someone like you cut his stay too short.

If your goal is to vent with your fellow psychologically damaged adolescents, then your postings -- and those of your compatriots -- admirably serve that objective.  However, you might want to private-password your site so we adults don't read what you have to say to one another.  Comments such as you have made only self-marginalize your criticism of teen recovery programs.  Actually, I believe that many such programs may well be badly run and that many parents send their teens to inappropriate programs.  

However, your comments will never convince an adult -- the actual parties who send the teens off to these schools -- that they are not worthy of serious consideration as alternatives to dealing with self-destructive teens.  

The other problem with your and many other's posts, assuming you are trying to reach adults with troubled teens, is your failure to propose any alternatives.  The standard rejoinder to a parent with a troubled teen is something along the lines of you-parent-must-have-been-bad-to-the-teen, or the like.   Such comments simply are written off, serving as reinforcement by adults for the need to have their teen sent to boot camp.  

So, Mr. Graves, the long and the short of it all is this:   The hostile and vituperative posts of you and your fellow forum members serve to feed more teens into the boot camp programs you so loath.  Adults see what you and others like you  have to say (and the sad English in which you try to express yourselves) and form the conclusion that if they only send their son or daughter off to boot camp they can save them from turning out like you.  In fact, I have referred two business associates with troubled teens to this website.  One, after reading the various posts has sent his daughter off to a boot camp program.  The other is still thinking about whether or not to send his son.  Tonight I e-mailed him to read your most recent posting.

Thank about it Mr. Graves; how many of your posts have convinced parents like myself that their teens' need more marching and push-ups than therapy?  You just may well be the Bundy's best friends.

Mr. Graves, I like you after all.  You do serve an admirable purpose on this earth.

Your Friend, Nemo

[Devlin]

Just cover you ass. Thayer may be next on the target list, i will be monitering the place and passing along info to the right people in the state about Thayer. Hopefully the state will do somthing about them, if not we will come to close them down.
 
Just rember we already closed down on place in Missouri (Mountain Park Academy) they had money and lots of lawyers to fight. We still won and closed them. By the way it was a painfull shut down, when we first started with Mountain Park the had close to 200 kids! When we finally forced them to close the only had 41 kids!

 If i was Willa or John Bundy i would worry. They may think they are safe for now, but Thayer could become a target at any time.

[Anonymous]

On 2004-09-09 21:40:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

Note For Devlin Graves



Mr. Graves, you could not have made a better case for posting anomalously than your most recent submission.  



I assume from the demeanor of your posts, you are a teen-ager or young adult.  What you may not fully appreciate is the impression your posts have on adults.  Far from having us think badly of teen recovery programs, we tend to think that someone like you cut his stay too short.



If your goal is to vent with your fellow psychologically damaged adolescents, then your postings -- and those of your compatriots -- admirably serve that objective.  However, you might want to private-password your site so we adults don't read what you have to say to one another.  Comments such as you have made only self-marginalize your criticism of teen recovery programs.  Actually, I believe that many such programs may well be badly run and that many parents send their teens to inappropriate programs.  



However, your comments will never convince an adult -- the actual parties who send the teens off to these schools -- that they are not worthy of serious consideration as alternatives to dealing with self-destructive teens.  



The other problem with your and many other's posts, assuming you are trying to reach adults with troubled teens, is your failure to propose any alternatives.  The standard rejoinder to a parent with a troubled teen is something along the lines of you-parent-must-have-been-bad-to-the-teen, or the like.   Such comments simply are written off, serving as reinforcement by adults for the need to have their teen sent to boot camp.  



So, Mr. Graves, the long and the short of it all is this:   The hostile and vituperative posts of you and your fellow forum members serve to feed more teens into the boot camp programs you so loath.  Adults see what you and others like you  have to say (and the sad English in which you try to express yourselves) and form the conclusion that if they only send their son or daughter off to boot camp they can save them from turning out like you.  In fact, I have referred two business associates with troubled teens to this website.  One, after reading the various posts has sent his daughter off to a boot camp program.  The other is still thinking about whether or not to send his son.  Tonight I e-mailed him to read your most recent posting.



Thank about it Mr. Graves; how many of your posts have convinced parents like myself that their teens' need more marching and push-ups than therapy?  You just may well be the Bundy's best friends.



Mr. Graves, I like you after all.  You do serve an admirable purpose on this earth.



Your Friend, Nemo





"

I would tend to agree with you Nemo, except that every coin is two-sided. First remember that not all these posters are teens or young adults. Some of them have have not been involved with these programs for upward of 3 decades. You are quick to point out their lack of education as if this is a justification for a treatment progam. What you fail to take into your view is often these programs don't allow these young people to attend school. So do you think this helps or compounds this particular problem? Would you bring this up to your adult friends considering treatment for a child? I think not. If you all need alternatives to long term treatment do some independent research. At least take this much responsibility. There is actually a psychological model that speaks of the effects of institutionalization in the adolescent years. This people are actually fulfilling this prophecy. Take more time with your children, don't be so quick to send them away. Accept that your role as parent should not be up for grabs at the first sign of strife. Does the old addadge "When the going gets tough the tough get going" ring any bells? If your thinking held true the tough should hire an expensive babysitter no matter the cost to the child. What does the parent stand to gain? More free time at the country club, or is it drinks with the Jones down the street, or maybe a long get away to Europe. I guess whatever it takes to free up your life. Remember nobody forced you to have these children. The truth is you had the children now take responsibility for raising them. How dare you come here and put these people down for harboring the problems your ideas acknowledge, yet sweep aside because that would inconvience your lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

nemo be a "programed" parent with a child at TB.   just trying to justify sending their child away to the island of jamaica.

nemo, did your parents raise you or did they send you off to an island to grow up?

if not; why then would you treat your child in this manner?

if so; i can understand your logic.  then again, i'd be trying to modify your family's tradition of mailing the children off to be raised and educated by the lower income class of jamaicans.

not that there is anything wrong with jamaicans nor the lower class.

that's just the life they have been dealt via their government and time.  if you really want to help them, take the WHOLE family over to the island for a vacation.  spend a ton of money and YOU can personally spur the jamaican economy.

[Anonymous]

all of the wwasps own facilities overseas have shut down?  TB is the only one left standing after this past weekend.

unless, Ivan destroyed the school?

thank GOD the children are safe? and that pepper spray jay decided to move the children to a "safe" place.  A safe place from a hurricane to many would have been some where off the island.  and not waiting until it was to late to move any of their cherished commodities to safety.  how stupid or convenient?

i suppose you don't mind your child being in harms way via any of the looting that has been reported either?  nor worrying about a clean water supply, food, electricity for a few days.  but i guess this goes right alone with the plan.  no contact with the children any way.  less we forget "chattering pigs" & the media, which is very bias.

[Anonymous]

Any excuse... any excuse you wwaspies can come up with. But you're sooo hard on those CHILDREN in your care!

Oh, and EVERYONE is biased unless they TOTALLY agree with you! Hah! Who is the manipulator now? Tell me... why are things happening the way they are now? Why are these orginizations and groups of vicims speaking up? Why did Mexico close those places down?

Whose lying? Everyone but you? This brainwashing treatment business is falling apart. You'll need to find a new way to validate your life then those damn Seminars.

[Anonymous]

nemo must have returned back to wwasp headquarters to obtain some more "program" jargon to toss around on the fornits board.  think for your self nemo.

[Anonymous]

Nemo,
Please respond at least. Some valid points have been posted. I would love to hear the response.

[finlyrite]

Let me say this...I posted on the internet - asking for information about Thayer Learning Center - while my son was there.  I received an email from someone stating they had information from parents, cadets and ex-employees interested in filing a class action against Thayer Learning Center.  I gave my phone number to be contacted.  I was pumped for information, asked how I had this information and words were put in my mouth.  I was later told by John Bundy that this person I was talking to was actually his attorney and the entire conversation was tape recorded.  I prepaid 6 months tuition at the time, after checking many of their references and searching for negative feedback - none found at the time.  During my exit interview Mrs. Bundy admitted refusal of giving my son mail that I had directed he be given was a mistake, as Mr. Bundy had admitted in a phone conversation there were some communication problems at Thayer.  I was asked where I stood on payment to Thayer and answered I was paid ahead.  Mrs. Bundy said a credit would be sent if one was due.  My refund has been denied for the reason my son did not complete the program.  Does this sound like a credible and trusting professional organization that you would want to trust with your child?[ This Message was edited by: finlyrite on 2004-10-04 17:01 ]

[Deborah]

Yet another industry standard. Very common.
I was in touch with three parents from the program my son attended who paid tuition up front. All had retained attorneys to get a refund. The worst story of the three was:
Teen sent to the programs newly opened boot camp. Mom questioned this in a series of conversations and ultimately was labeled advarsarial and asked to remove her son. A rendezvous was planned at WalMart!!! They wouldn't even allow her on campus!!! He left with the clothes on his back!! When a refund was not forthcoming she contacted them. They refused to refund her because she 'withdrew' him. They use the same manipulative bullshit on the parents that is used on the kids. I guess in their warped minds the parent 'was out of agreement'.  :lol: Some of the most screwed up people I've ever had the misfortune to interact with.

In my case, I was in court demanding that my son be sent home for Xmas- he went early November. I was hoping to get him in front of the judge. The program staff testified that if my son left his dad would forfiet $110,000 in pre-paid tuition. I didn't know their policy and couldn't argue that. Staff went on to help paint the illusion that my son needed their 'treatment'. I later found their tuition policy which stated that all but the current month would be returned whether the kid was expelled or withdrawn. They are lying manipulators. In it for the buck.

Parents beware- DO NOT EVER PAY TUITION UP FRONT. You will be sorry if you decide you've made a mistake. Know that they will make the discount attractive. If you go for it, plan to hire an attorney if you expect a refund.

[Anonymous]

How was your husband able to put your son in treatment without your approval or signature? what state do you live in? Most states it takes both parents especially if there is a joint custody issue.

[Deborah]

It happens all the time. He flew my son to Ga on Sat, enrolled him on Mon. The program gave my son a dx based on his father's complaints.

One parent places the kid, the other must take legal action to defend their rights.
It becomes a custody battle which includes psychological testing for everyone- more tests $$ if you happen to disagree with the first evaluation; a guardian ad litem; months and months of hearings and mediations which will cost each parent somewhere in the neighborhood of $30-50K, or more.

The parent fighting the placement is not likely to be successful, as the 'professionals' employed by the program will testify on the placing parents (and their own) behalf.

The placing parent can drag a family court matter out until the kid is released from the program, if they are so inclined.

That's how it goes. And the program will do everything in their power to support the placing parent. In my case, they wrote letters to the judge stating that I was advarsarial, disrupting the entire campus :roll: , and not supportive of the 'treatment' my son 'deperately' needed, which THEY of course were providing. Extremely self-serving and has nothing to do with what is in the child's best interest.

[Anonymous]

On 2004-09-05 14:35:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

Why I Post Anomalously
 While the Forums certainly stimulate certain individual's passions, there is not always a corresponding stimulation of the intellect; or for that matter, English grammar and spelling.  



For my part, I will continue to posta anomalously.



Oh and yes, Mr. Graves, the correct words are, "Spayed and Neutered".



Nemo



"

 :rofl:  :rofl:

ANONYMOUSLY.......not anomalously as you've written several times.  Check your own shit before you start ragging on someone ELSE'S grammar and spelling. :roll:

[Anonymous]

"ANONYMOUSLY.......not anomalously as you've written several times. Check your own shit before you start ragging on someone ELSE'S grammar and spelling.  "

Have you considered the possibility that the usage was intentional?  

Perhaps by posting "anomalously",  the author is making clear that his or her message is distinguishable from the average level of discourse on this board  -- i.e.,  an anomaly.

Like,  if you were unsure of your sexual orientation,  you might want to post androgynously.  Or,  if you had a bottle of reagent grade ammonia,  you might post anhydrously.   Or,  if you were tired of responding to dim-bulbs,  you might be compelled to post annoyedly.