Hi there, I apologize for adding further to anyone's pain. It can sometimes be difficult to articulate clearly in this medium.
I never intended to suggest that I beleive that it is God's will for any of us to be subjected to humiliation or abuse, nor to experience the deep heartache that can linger,sometimes for years as a result;not for our growth or for any other reason. He wants us to be able to trust, to be able to feel, to be connected to others- safely. What I was trying to say is that I have seen broken people become dynamic in their ability to walk others through pain. To take those with similar backrounds to a place of healing and wholeness-to a place where we remember, but without anger and pain.
The "comfort" that I spoke of was not a comfort inherent of the Seed. The concept of comfort is the antithesis of most things having to do with the Seed. However one example of the comfort that I spoke of is what is demonstrated by most of you in this forum. You care for each other. You allow one another to vent. You confront. You encourage. You console. These are all ways that God's love is demonstrated. It is His ability and plan to bring beauty out of ashes.
On a personal note,just because I left the program unscathed does not mean I did not suffer its abuses. I too was victimized. I know what its like to be shredded apart during group. I have heard and seen the coached indifference on my mother's face when she "tough-loved" me after I escaped. I have tasted the shame of having been one of those people that verbally thrashed a person apart in front of 50 or so spectators. I also inherited a speech impedement. When I am under stress, I can't find my words and at times, sentences come out like "word-salad". This never happened before the Seed experience.
I was however,very fortunate to have a support system in place when I left,that continues to this day. It is my hope that now I will have two!
(For the record: I am not pathetic .)