Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones

Loves CEDU

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Anonymous:

--- Quote ---On 2004-08-23 16:53:00, Antigen wrote:

"
--- Quote ---
On 2004-08-23 16:13:00, mad wrote:


I learned that I could have friends and that I could be a good friend,


--- End quote ---



Did it not bother you that your new friends were required, by institution protocol, to say they were your friends even if they felt quite differently?



"

--- End quote ---


I never understood that friendships were enforced, or rather there were plenty of folks who I either wasn't friends with or didn't know well enough to consider a friend.

I keep in touch with a few people from my RMA days, but lack of contact doesn't, at least for me, take away from the power of those friendships.  It is the same as  the years since RMA;  I may be close with folks for a few years and then because of growing apart or geographic moves we play a less critial role in each others' lives.

Best, M

blownawaytheidahoway:
I don't know if I can say that those years were among my favorite. I really tried to take the good with the bad for many years, but to be truthful, I did not often feel what I consider to be real friendships there. A few, but then they were with older brothers that were watching me, and while at the same time making my stay a tiny fraction more bearable, abandoning me for the rest of life? I had few staff friends and the one that I really did have conceeds that I was very misunderstood and that I did have staff who vocally disliked me. I now know that that was their reacting to what they percieved as fearlessness and pride. The people I would like to talk to most about RMA and the whole CEDU enchilada are the people I hope not yet to run into. Almost all the people in my peer group were not cool to me. I was just someone they could beat up on because I was more cerebral. I would become reactive eventually and the heat would be extinguished under their own chair. I resented the cycle. Also, I just didn't really like some of them. But I don't know what they as individuals became. It's not fair to rail on them now, at least not like the staff, but I know that I will have to think a lot about them if I keep corresponding with this crowd.
     I do see that there is certainly a love/hate relationship with these places. That is certainly textbook for someone who is confused about what it all means.

CEDU IS A CULT:
I just didn't have real friends for the most part at CEDU and it was harder to have real friends after CEDU.  It was like I could never relax and just be myself with "CEDU" friends.  I never was or could be the type of person that "CEDU" considers a "real friend" or that I would want to have as a "real friend."  There are too many things I like to do that CEDU forced its believers to think is wrong.

I mean I remember getting blown away about liking eating pussy when I was like 13 years old.  Shit- nothings changed!  (just kidding- a little humour)

Also, I see nothing wrong with smoking a little herb.

I don't think people have to know every detail about eachother to be the best of friends or lovers.

I like going dirt bike riding and motorcycles as opposed to smooshing, telling cop-outs or crying.  In fact, I have only physically cried tears three times in the last several years as opposed to CEDU's theory of almost daily tears.

I don't believe in their philosophy of what a true man is.

I believe to thine own self be true, and in other words F what anyone else thinks.  

I'm only saying this pretending that CEDU actually had a philosophy that it actually believed in and practiced.

The fact is CEDU was brutally physically, emotionally, sexually abusive.  I mean don't you fucking remember the shit you heard in raps and profeets?

Don't you remember the intense shame and humiliation?

The bead of sweat, the shaky nerves, the paranoia, the first time you heard someone cop-out to the group and it was your turn next?

The brutal way they pushed and pushed and pushed until you fucking broke and became hollow?

You know something, I figured out what Ceduites remind me of-  born-again christians.  That "Jesus loves me" glow people had after profeets.  And that high you had coming out of profeets- it was the same psycho-somatic high born-again christians have.

Some people on this site are basically Born-again Cedus.  Cedu loves you.  Have you accepted Cedu into your heart as your personal lord and saviour?  But for the grace of Cedu.  Is there a parallel between pedophile priests and Cedu staff members?

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