COPING MECHANISMS...

[future.air]

I read a post the other day.  IT has been buzzing around in my brain.

It suggested that a straight survivor might be unable to recognize the horror he/she experienced until a stressful and/or traumatic event occurs in the present that demands VITAL COPING MECHANISMS for survival.
When a Straight Survivor is unable to overcome trauma without reexperiencing more of it, that individual breaks down.

I find this true and fascinating.  

I am ashamed to report that  five years after abandoning Straight and the relationship I had developed with one of my counselors -(Glenn Steepleton) I entered into another cult.  Wish fulfillment made it so I left (withdrew from the program) like I always wished i'd done in Straight.  I did not leave until I'd endured a similar torture for almost a year.  IT wasn't until the leaders told me I was going to die and the rest of the group was not allowed to speak to me that I made the Straight connection.

Four years after that, the confines of a high pressure graduate program at an ivy league school AGAIN promulgated overwhelming anxiety.  I recognized I was participating in a milder version of  Straight....a closed-minded community, full of judgement and insensititvity.

BOTH of these experiences emotionally ripped me up.
And I resorted to utilizing learned COPING MECHANISMS from Straight.


TheSE CopING MECHANISMS INCLUDe:

1.Create a relationship with an imbalance of power.

Either abuse the vulnerable or shut your mouth and
stomach the punishment of your appointed leader.

2.When afraid of abandonment, especially a particular loved one, scream at them.  Criticizing can act as a great way of communication.

3. Trust nooNe.  Everyone is secretly looking for you to do something wrong.  And given the right moment, may do anything in their power to set you back.

4.  Another great avenue to explore...Disrespect the safety, privacy and space of everyone close to you.  Break boundaries with no awareness and then act stunned when others are annoyed.

5.  Wonder why others  don't LOVE you when  they are not invasive, controlling or possessive.  Then feel UnReasonably rageful when they do.

5.Doubt all intuition.  Assume you are bad and any gut feelings are wrong and suspicious.

6.. Abandon self care. Focus on other people or stay removed from the world in your own self-contained windowless warehouse.  This will ensure the crisis continues and proactive action to take real steps forward remains impossible.

7.  When all else fails, since you have learned nothing else, cut in your arms and hope someone gives you the attention of a restraint.


As a teenager, staff acted as my PSEUDO -PARENTS.

The Coping MEcHanisms they taught guaranteed ALWAYS to increase my trauma.  Occasionally the Coping mEchanisms  created a pseudodrama serving to distract me from the original point of stress.
This didn't help either.  It is a  MIRACLE I  am still alive.

Thanks to everyone for posting on this forum.  I am new here but it is helping me to understand how fucked my head is because of  teenage trauma.  It makes me feel understood and less alone.

If  you relate to employing any of these coping mechanisms, please let me know.

Elizabeth H.

[Scarstruck]

(you see) I had some friends once before,
whose not so much my friends anymore
I was very influential in their lives (so they say) , and when I lost my
Mind, they followed me though multiple deaths

(Because) there we were on the floor, slumped over and
sliding downward, with syringes hanging out of our arms,
another night, anyway we could. I said TRUST ME
The Destruction of a Person builds character, invisible

Another group of so-called friends,
can't seem to get off the needle now again
Should I blame myself cause I introduced them to the devil?
Or realize the life in darkness and the lord of light
also works in mysterious ways.

[Anonymous]

On 2004-08-11 05:00:00, Scarstruck wrote:

"(you see) I had some friends once before,

whose not so much my friends anymore

I was very influential in their lives (so they say) , and when I lost my

Mind, they followed me though multiple deaths



(Because) there we were on the floor, slumped over and

sliding downward, with syringes hanging out of our arms,

another night, anyway we could. I said TRUST ME

The Destruction of a Person builds character, invisible



Another group of so-called friends,

can't seem to get off the needle now again

Should I blame myself cause I introduced them to the devil?

Or realize the life in darkness and the lord of light

also works in mysterious ways.




"

How profound.

[Scarstruck]

Still far more profound than your anon one liners...get killed. :wave:

[future.air]

ANother coping Mechanism..


8. Distracting form the initial topic of conversation to avoid connection and intimacy.  Therefore, making others feel they have not been heard.[ This Message was edited by: future.air on 2004-08-11 12:22 ]

[webcrawler]

On 2004-08-10 21:43:00, future.air wrote:

"I read a post the other day.  IT has been buzzing around in my brain.



It suggested that a straight survivor might be unable to recognize the horror he/she experienced until a stressful and/or traumatic event occurs in the present that demands VITAL COPING MECHANISMS for survival.

When a Straight Survivor is unable to overcome trauma without reexperiencing more of it, that individual breaks down.



I find this true and fascinating.  



I am ashamed to report that  five years after abandoning Straight and the relationship I had developed with one of my counselors -(Glenn Steepleton) I entered into another cult.  Wish fulfillment made it so I left (withdrew from the program) like I always wished i'd done in Straight.  I did not leave until I'd endured a similar torture for almost a year.  IT wasn't until the leaders told me I was going to die and the rest of the group was not allowed to speak to me that I made the Straight connection.



Four years after that, the confines of a high pressure graduate program at an ivy league school AGAIN promulgated overwhelming anxiety.  I recognized I was participating in a milder version of  Straight....a closed-minded community, full of judgement and insensititvity.



BOTH of these experiences emotionally ripped me up.

And I resorted to utilizing learned COPING MECHANISMS from Straight.





TheSE CopING MECHANISMS INCLUDe:



1.Create a relationship with an imbalance of power.



Either abuse the vulnerable or shut your mouth and

stomach the punishment of your appointed leader.



2.When afraid of abandonment, especially a particular loved one, scream at them.  Criticizing can act as a great way of communication.



3. Trust nooNe.  Everyone is secretly looking for you to do something wrong.  And given the right moment, may do anything in their power to set you back.



4.  Another great avenue to explore...Disrespect the safety, privacy and space of everyone close to you.  Break boundaries with no awareness and then act stunned when others are annoyed.



5.  Wonder why others  don't LOVE you when  they are not invasive, controlling or possessive.  Then feel UnReasonably rageful when they do.



5.Doubt all intuition.  Assume you are bad and any gut feelings are wrong and suspicious.



6.. Abandon self care. Focus on other people or stay removed from the world in your own self-contained windowless warehouse.  This will ensure the crisis continues and proactive action to take real steps forward remains impossible.



7.  When all else fails, since you have learned nothing else, cut in your arms and hope someone gives you the attention of a restraint.





As a teenager, staff acted as my PSEUDO -PARENTS.



The Coping MEcHanisms they taught guaranteed ALWAYS to increase my trauma.  Occasionally the Coping mEchanisms  created a pseudodrama serving to distract me from the original point of stress.

This didn't help either.  It is a  MIRACLE I  am still alive.



Thanks to everyone for posting on this forum.  I am new here but it is helping me to understand how fucked my head is because of  teenage trauma.  It makes me feel understood and less alone.



If  you relate to employing any of these coping mechanisms, please let me know.



Elizabeth H.





"

I've experienced all of them and still do. This stuff went on even before Straight with me and sometimes still does. Not sure I will ever have a stable relationship with a man either. Decided it's best to not have one.

[Antigen]

On 2004-08-10 21:43:00, future.air wrote:

TheSE CopING MECHANISMS INCLUDe:

1.Create a relationship with an imbalance of power.

For the first couple of years I and my husband were together, I thought I was the brains of the operation.

2.When afraid of abandonment, especially a particular loved one, scream at them. Criticizing can act as a great way of communication.

When it started to become obvious that that wasn't the case (dude is like mutant brilliant!) I went through a period of total paranoid jealous rage. Only reason he didn't bail is that he knew he'd lose custody of our kids and he couldn't concience leaving them in my care in the state of mind I was in.

3. Trust nooNe. Everyone is secretly looking for you to do something wrong. And given the right moment, may do anything in their power to set you back.

No comment (lol!)

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

--Mark Twain

[Scarstruck]

Copng mechanisms? ha..

 I am beyond terms like that ..I think I have about 5 mental disorders blended together with chronic opiate addiction..

 I bite peoples heads off...then I feel bad. I think people are plotting on me and talking about me and...can actually read or hear things and feel like its a masked reference to me.

 I learned in Straight..some very destructive behavior. I have flashbacks..deep depression...anxiety...cravings for dope...some days I cannot leave my bedroom..

The only thing Ive ever found that makes it go away is big thick shots of tar heroin..But unfortunately that is a life too hard for me to live...Ill spare you the paragraphs on why being a junky is a stressful 24 /7 job.

 Ive tried to talk to the counsellors available to me...I tried to explain straight and other things..and I was given a blank stare followed by a printout sheet of local AA clubs.. :scared:

_________________
http://http://www.infowars.com/index.html
 Police State is coming[ This Message was edited by: Scarstruck on 2004-08-11 20:23 ]

[future.air]

Hi Ginger.

I hope you don't mind me asking but I'm curious how your relationship is now?

Were you able to make it through the tough patch?  
Just curious.  

My relationship is challenging right now.  Finding this website a couple months ago has made me feel exceptionally fragile.  Jealousy, paranoia, and rage.......
Three feelings you mentioned that have been surfacing lately.

I'm still not sure what the jealousy has to do with Straight.  Aside from fear of abandonment and the inevitable feeling of insecurity trauma produces.

Do you think missing out on normal social behavior as a teenager has been damaging to you.  I remember when just looking at a guy was a crime and we RARELy saw the opposite sex intereact with each other in a regular way or got any practice interacting in a normal way with the world.  I got setback and screamed at for answering a yes no question from a guy I went to school with because he was a guy and because he had green hair and that might mean he was a druggie.
INSANE.

[future.air]

Hi starstruck.

How long were you in the program?

[Scarstruck]

april to january
Was my first of a string of them

[Antigen]

On 2004-08-12 20:39:00, future.air wrote:

"Hi Ginger.



I hope you don't mind me asking but I'm curious how your relationship is now?


Were you able to make it through the tough patch?  

Just curious.  

Couldn't be better. We've been together now for nearly 20 years. Pretty much had all the arguments already.

My relationship is challenging right now.  Finding this website a couple months ago has made me feel exceptionally fragile.  Jealousy, paranoia, and rage.......

Three feelings you mentioned that have been surfacing lately.



I'm still not sure what the jealousy has to do with Straight.  Aside from fear of abandonment and the inevitable feeling of insecurity trauma produces.



Do you think missing out on normal social behavior as a teenager has been damaging to you.  I remember when just looking at a guy was a crime and we RARELy saw the opposite sex intereact with each other in a regular way or got any practice interacting in a normal way with the world.  I got setback and screamed at for answering a yes no question from a guy I went to school with because he was a guy and because he had green hair and that might mean he was a druggie.

INSANE.

I don't know. I suppose when I thought I was the shits and he'd never do half as well as me, I was secure. When it finally dawned on me that he could if he wanted to, I started comparing myself w/ all the normal, non-neurotic, smart and good looking women he worked with or knew through old friends. It just scared hell out of me.

It worked out in the end though, mostly because he's just an old fashioned kind of guy who keeps his promises and lives up to what a dad is supposed to be. For my part, I've just tried to not be a bitch and hope that's enough. So far, so good.

What is ominous is the ease with which some people go from saying that
they don't like something to saying that the government should forbid it. When you go down that road, don't expect freedom to survive very long.
--Thomas Sowell

[Anonymous]

On 2004-08-11 20:19:00, Scarstruck wrote:

"Copng mechanisms? ha..



 I am beyond terms like that ..I think I have about 5 mental disorders blended together with chronic opiate addiction..



 I bite peoples heads off...then I feel bad. I think people are plotting on me and talking about me and...can actually read or hear things and feel like its a masked reference to me.



 I learned in Straight..some very destructive behavior. I have flashbacks..deep depression...anxiety...cravings for dope...some days I cannot leave my bedroom..



The only thing Ive ever found that makes it go away is big thick shots of tar heroin..But unfortunately that is a life too hard for me to live...Ill spare you the paragraphs on why being a junky is a stressful 24 /7 job.



 Ive tried to talk to the counsellors available to me...I tried to explain straight and other things..and I was given a blank stare followed by a printout sheet of local AA clubs.. :scared:



_________________

http://http://www.infowars.com/index.html

 Police State is coming[ This Message was edited by: Scarstruck on 2004-08-11 20:23 ]"

I know how you feel-- up to and including the NA literature giveaway at the local crisis center.