Author Topic: Frank Rizzo here  (Read 1127 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Frank Rizzo here
« on: July 14, 2004, 02:46:00 PM »
Hey what's up there sweetasses?  This is FRANK RIZZO!!  Open yuh fuckin' eahs jackass!

You little sizzlechests think ya had it rough goin' tru Elan?  Very proud of ya!  When I was a kid, my dad used to run me over with the car in the driveway just for talkin' out of turn.  You little pricks need to toughen up.  sometimes, I take the little fuckers who piss me off and when my temper's flarin' like a pack of hemorrhoids, i look at this fuckin letter i got from a fan:

"Dear Frank:

I have some car trouble?  My engine rattles.  What would you do?"

Well, the first thing I do is get ahold the little prick who wrote me that fuckin' question and I throw him in the driveway and run over his fuckin' legs about a dozen times with my fuckin' car.  Those fuckin questions piss me off. So don't ever ask me any of those questions, cause I will find you and I will run your ass down.

The next thing I do is get a fuckin' tire iron and whack that little insecure faggot Sol Rosenberg.  Then we drive up to that fucking trailer park in Maine and we meet up with Peter Rowe and I read that book with him and feel him up like my little turtle.  That's right there jerky!  

since my mudder's really old, i figure some of you fuckin' whacky asses can help me speed up the cremation process.  i whack her out and you  fuckin' you know, melt her down or some shit.  i'll take care of you with the dough there, sweet cheeks, we're good like that.

Also, if you need a ridin' lawnmower cause you're a lazy bastid, my friend Big Ol' Bad Ass Bob the Cattle Rustler will give it to you for 10 bucks and a smack in the mouth, cause he likes ya!

So I'll see you tomorrow with my tools, fuckface!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Sol Rosenberg

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Frank Rizzo here
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2004, 02:56:00 PM »
can u seal my wife up in a box and send her seaworthy.. oh yeah but after i masturbate in there first..
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Mister Pink

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Frank Rizzo here
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2004, 05:38:00 PM »
Hi Frank! welcome to elan (now available only in FORUM form to select customers). Here in the backwoods of Maine, we can do whatever the fuck we want. prostitution, indian war dances, miles of flaming posts, it's all good. because here at elan, we base our entire careers, relationships, and lives around a philosophy. thats inscribed on a piece of leftover plywood. plywood used to make sex toys for mainers. trust us, it doesn't make sense at first, but give us three years, we'll prove it to you; elan (forums only) is the best way to spend the golden years of life.

-Dorling Kindersly, president & CEO of Elan; school and manufacturer of amalgamated tin and aluminum goods.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
quot;Its a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor\" - Bob Dylan

Offline Anonymous

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Frank Rizzo here
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2004, 06:43:00 AM »
Damn Jordon, can't you come up with your own material? Jerky boys are like so 1990's and outplayed.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »