Its so important to have good thoughts and be single minded???!!!!
If I had a teen child I would want them anything but single minded.
I would also want them to know that to feel unhappy, angry, depressed, and lonely ARE NORMAL EMOTIONS.
Its ok to feel this way, etc etc...
I honestly do not think I would have found myself walking this road Im walking...had I not been fed so much pseudo experimental psycho bullshit. It did nothing but alienate me and confuse me.
I want to be the poster boy for why step cults are bad. Yes, I know Im responsible for my actions. But I also know why I did heroin..I know exactly why..It wasnt just to get high, I was already doing that.. :cry2:
Those reasons I wont get into due to the fact that its personal...but I didnt just happen to become an Opiate addict..and I didnt just gateway into it. :roll:
The point is Im ucking mad as a hatter..and have ingherited mental problems, step cults, and Straight to thank for that.
Large doses of opiates were the only thing to make my mind shut the fuck up for a couple of hours.
Im tak9ing the next step now...I have been clean roughly two years this time..I feel the Methadone has served its purpose, its gotten me out of the routine and away from the dope..
Im ready to start my taper. Due to an unfortunate legal bind, I am forced to put my move off for an extra 2 or 3 months..thats just enough time to do a taper..well thats pushing it..
I just wish I had someone to help me thru it.
The worst part other than the physical pain is the emotional wretchedness you get. Like 2 years of bad feelings hit you at once...I cant explain it. Anyone thats been thru an opiate detox knows what Im referring to..and its a part of the brain going into overdrive..Street people call it "The crazies"
But alas I will have to do it alone...