Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones

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Anonymous:
OK. Ottawa, for the sake of argument, you said it wouldn't be healthy if your son told you every minute detail about his life.  At CEDU, staff spilled every part of their sexual and other dysfunctions whether it involved waste products smeared all over themselves etc., and some pretty repugnant sexual experiences (even animals).  Do you really think this is healthy?  Don't you think they are working out their own issues with us instead of fixing their own selves first and then retaining some sense of therapeutic boundaries?  In fact, in many cases, I believe that b/c many of them were poorly accredited, they had no idea how to maintain healthy boundaries, often getting their own BS mixed up with ours.  An example of this is the family head who was addicted to cocaine (pre CEDU) and then treated anyone who ever tried a drug as an addict and telling their parents the same.  This happened to me and I EASILY gave up experimenting with drugs 5 months prior to CEDU (and never went back.  Chocolate is my thing.)  So any time I was in a rap, he'd bring up drugs, but (this is not why my parents sent me to CEDU) only after I told him I experimented earlier in my teens.   He never did get around to the REAL issues.

Shanlea

CEDU IS A CULT:
Many who are molested blame themselves.

So do many rape victims.

I've never claimed I wasn't an asshole.

I have very few friends because of it, but that's just who I am.

Ottawa5- I'm very impressed with how cool headed you remained.  I wish I could do that.  My blood just boils very easily.

I'm glad we can see eachother's point of view.

ottawa5:
Shanlea, You have touched on a topic that has bothered me for some time--how much a person in the caring professions should self-disclose.

I run into it all the time. Today, at my psychology practicum, I was working with a paranoid schizophrenic, a lovely man, but he wanted to know all about my life, and I had to constantly ask myself, "Is what I may say next helpful; is it necessary, is it wise?".

There are, in fact, books written on this subject, but in the actual moment, in therapy, what is in the books never seems right on target.

Every situation is so different. Compound this with a school situation that involves a group of kids (and understandably stressed-out counsellors)  rather than a one-to-one therapist-client situation, and the whole thing is problematic.

People can go too far, perhaps at your school you have seen people that did so.  But I still believe that some amount of self-disclosure can be good.

And, I know that the following is very unfashionable to say, but it seems to me that if my male child needs to hear self-disclosures that relate to sexual matters and functioning in adolescence, it is better if this information comes from a caring male educator who carefully considers what to disclose--rather than from me, his mother. (This of course presumes that there is not the potential of a caring male within the family, because of divorce, alienation from a step-father, and so on).

I guess the key words are "caring" and "carefully", and on this site, I get the impression that these key elements of self-disclosure have not not always met in the therapeutic boarding school situation.

You have a good sense of these things, if I may say so, this much is obvious. Have you ever considered, once your children are older, perhaps, pursuing studies in  one of the caring professions yourself.  It seems to me that your experiences of what did not work for you in helping a child who was having trouble navigating adolescence, might be a starting point to describing, and even implimenting what can actually work.

Well, it's not my business, I realize, but it seems, with medical advances, that we are all going to live to 100 or so, so you will have lots of time to do things that are meaningful to you, within your life time.

Anonymous:
Ok. I still don't understand why it's acceptable to you that CEDU manipulates your parents and is dishonest about stuff involving its students. Why would anyone still say it is OK as long as you come out OK in the end. Why is verbal and emotional abuse acceptable if you survive it in the end?  (Frankly, these types of abuses are so insidious that people are often screwed up without realizing it a decade or so later.)

Also, if your son went to CEDU in the nineties, you must have a prior connection to CEDU if you did workshops with Mel present.  

Shanlea

CEDU IS A CULT:
It's not okay.  They say that Hitler loved children.

Like I said, Ottawa is wrapped up in denial.

If what we are saying is true- then what did she put her son through?

Her opinion is subjective and so are ours.

Her responses will come analytically, flatline, and devoid of human emotion.

I am fucking ANGRY at what is and has going on there!!

I have no interest in defending a god damn thing going on up there!

There is NO excuse and it has to fucking stop!!

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