Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones
i want your stories
blownawaytheidahoway:
Why did I stay? When I returned from my splitting I had been starved in the desert with one homicidal gangmember and five other delinquents for four weeks. I had been promised while at a foster home ( i had refused to return to RMA) that I could go home. Instead I was sandwhiched into a car with Mike Parr (to make sure I didn't run away again) and The chief of Idaho Police. They were waiting for me after I lost my twenty pounds and had eaten racoon, mouse, rabbit, dog, snake and bananna peels. I was taken back to where I had run away from six weeks before. That first week I was happy to have food and not be afraid for my life.
After that though, I didn't run away but tried everything else I could think of to leave. I really almost killed myself there. I hated being incacerated more than any of the motherfuckers posting here. MORE. I stayed because I had NO CHOICE. I had already lived on the streets some as a fourteen year old but when my parents said I could stay at RMA and finish the program (that would have been two years) or go to a lock up until I was eighteen and never talk to them again)That ain't no choice. I wish to god I had waited another year before fucking up so much at home because I would have had the strength to leave. I would have been more adult. The threats of going to a lock up for four years when I was that young was enough to scare me. It was worse that way because I had to learn to accept what I KNOW I did not believe. So I allowed them to kill some 'ME'. It couldn't be helped, it was simply self preservation. Big difference between fourteen and fifteen. Treating us that way. My parents couldn't deal. That's what I am seeing is the root of the existance of CEDU. so they were right about that one thing: the world is fucked up and parents don't raise their kids right. it's a cycle. PRobabaly the reason I won't have kids is RMA. I learned that from Chuck and Vicki. Isn't that chuck solent? I have to blame RMA for how I turned out. And I have to blame RMA and my parents for sending me there.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2004-07-15 07:32:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I don't think the theories are standardized; I think they have standardized applications of their so-called "therapy." The standard application is abusive confrontation. "
--- End quote ---
that's what i'm saying... i don't agree with their application or the theories backing these applications (surely, there is theory behind their application... ie- we can use harsh confrontation to break people down, then we can build them back up.)
here's the definition of standard that i was going by:
a) An acknowledged measure of comparison for quantitative or qualitative value; a criterion.
b) An object that under specified conditions defines, represents, or records the magnitude of a unit.
they used an approach that would treat us all in the same manner, harshly. perhaps you associate something else with standardized, like a popular method (although this was, at one point, a popular method... straight inc was a pretty popular treatment center back in the day.) but when you apply the same treatment to a roomful of individuals... are you expecting them all to respond in the same way? or are you taking into account that most people don't fit the mold of your standard. they're trying to mold people.
of course i was fearful, which caused me to stay. perhaps i would've run away if i hadn't been so scared. but i was certainly strong enough to handle it when i did stay... i didn't let them kill me as i watched the people around me commiting suicide one by one.
Anonymous:
In some ways I wondered if people who were too afraid to split were simply reacting to a gut feeling. Maybe your gut feelings informed you that it would be more dangerous to split, and that gut feeling was actually your preservation. Especially if home wasn't three hours away, like mine.
My gut feeling told me that if I could just make it all the way home, I wouldn't be sent back (or to a lock up) even though that was the threat. I also--I know this is weird--had a weird feeling I would not have to hitch hike, that I would meet a good person who would help me, and that is exactly what happened. It helped that I was 17, too. If I were 14, I would have been screwed.
Who knows? I was a big chicken shit so there is no way I would have hitchhiked or lived on the street--maybe partially due to being a female.
Shanlea
mikehunt:
--- Quote ---On 2004-07-15 15:32:00, Anonymous wrote:
"In some ways I wondered if people who were too afraid to split were simply reacting to a gut feeling. Maybe your gut feelings informed you that it would be more dangerous to split, and that gut feeling was actually your preservation. Especially if home wasn't three hours away, like mine.
My gut feeling told me that if I could just make it all the way home, I wouldn't be sent back (or to a lock up) even though that was the threat. I also--I know this is weird--had a weird feeling I would not have to hitch hike, that I would meet a good person who would help me, and that is exactly what happened. It helped that I was 17, too. If I were 14, I would have been screwed.
Who knows? I was a big chicken shit so there is no way I would have hitchhiked or lived on the street--maybe partially due to being a female.
Shanlea "
--- End quote ---
that's what i'm saying... i thought something absolutely awful would happen if i left. i wasn't prepared for that. i've always felt myself to be a highly intuitive person.. this may just be rationalization, but whatever, i did what i needed to do, and i don't regret it.
Anonymous:
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