Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Elan School
Jokes
Anonymous:
Your full of shit go away, My black freinds have told me that there isnt a black person out there that tollerates the word "nigger" in any form, especially coming from a white person or used in a racially motivated joke.
Anonymous:
Well your friends are full of shit.Nigger is used amongst conversations alot,but we like to use the term Nigga.
I dont let jokes like that get to me.It is ignorant people like you that start trouble and get other people all fired up.
Anonymous:
A Truck Driver has to deliver 330 black Brunswick bowling balls to Arkansas. Along the way he sees a black guy hitchhiking, so he pulls over and says "I'll give ya a ride but there's no room up here in the cab get in the back with the balls." So he does. A little further down the road he sees another black guy with a flat tire on his bike, and he too is lookin' for a ride, so the driver tells him that he'll be glad to give him a ride but he has to ride in back with the balls. He agrees. So just as there getting into Arkansas they get pulled over by a detective and a rookie. The detective tells the rookie to get the drivers credentials and he'll check the cargo. As the rookie is getting the paperwork the detective runs to the front of the truck and tells the driver to get the hell out of Arkansas, so he goes on his way. As the two cops are walking back to the car the rookie asks why he let the driver go and he replied, "son, he had a truck full of Negro eggs, two hatched and one already stole a bike. -
Anonymous:
A little, short man about 5 foot 5 inches walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. The bar tender looks and him and says, "Hey man, you better get out of here with that shirt on." The man replies "Why?" The bar tender says well first off it says "I HATE NIGGERS". And secondly it's about 10 minutes from now a lot of them come in here from work. The man insists he will be fine. He proceeds to finish his beer, and orders another one. Well right as he is doing so, three blacks walk in and sit down next to him. They order some drinks, and then notice the man's shirt. The first black guy turns to the white man and says what does your shirt say?" The white man turns to the bar tender and says, "The first thing I hate about black guys is they can't read." The second black guy turns to him and says, "What did you say"? The white man again turns to the bar tender and says, "the second thing I hate about black guys is that they can't hear." The third black guy (a huge black guy, 6ft 9in, arms the size of dumbbells, really mean looking) turns to the white man and says, "Would you like to take this outside?" The white man agrees to take it outside. 10 minutes later he returns and sits back down, orders another beer, and says to the bar tender " The third thing I hate about black guys is that they always bring a knife to a gun fight".
A Black, a Native American and a cowboy were sitting at a bar. The Native American says, "In this country once we were many and now we are few." The Black adds, "In this country once we were few but now we are many." Then the cowboy says, "We just haven't played cowboys and blacks yet"
What's the difference between a black guy and Batman?
Batman can go to the store without robbin'
What is the most confusing holiday in the African American community?
Father's Day
What do you call a bunch of blacks running down a hill?
Mudslide
What do you give a black lady after she had an abortion?
$50 crime stoppers award
I had a black friend once.... but I sold him!
What do you call 1000 niggers in the ocean?
An oil spill
How do you get a black man nervous?
Take him to an auction
A lady has always wanted to have sex with a black man. So she goes to a bar and has some drinks. She starts talking to a black man and pretty soon they go to her apartment. She takes off her clothes and jumps on the bed. She says do what you do best? So he grabs the TV and runs
Why are black people good at basketball?
Cuz they can shoot, run, and steal
Why do black people have big lips?
So they can suck the coins out of parking meters
What do you call 9 black guys buried up to their necks in sand?
Afro-turf -
What do you call a Queer Eskimo?
A snow blower
What you get when you cross a queer Eskimo with a black guy?
A snow blower that doesn't work
What do people and jellybeans have in common?
Everybody hates the black ones.
Why do white people in black neighborhoods use clear plastic trash bags?
So black people can do window-shopping
A black man was walking and he came by a lake. At the lake he saw a Chinese man skipping rocks across it. The rocks were making sounds as they went across. CHING CHANG CHONG. The black man asked what he was doing. He said he was communicating with his ancestors. The black man said, "let me try that". He picked up a rock and skipped it across the lake. They went CHIM-PAN-ZEE. He got mad, picked up a big log and threw it down, it went BABOON!
Ok, there is two black guys walking down the street, and they see a building that says "Talent Show". They decide to go in. The talent is to turn black people into white people. The talent show costs 99 cents. One black guy has $1 and the other has 98 cents. The one with 98 cents tells the one with the dollar to go in first and then give him the penny so he can turn white. So the one with the dollar goes in. He comes out white. "WOW!" Says the other, "can I have the penny now?" The other says "Fuck you, black guy, get a job!"
There's a bartender who is always getting his bar messed up by big guys. So he goes to pet shop to get an animal to protect him. He gets a gorilla and puts it in his bar with a string of bananas in front of him. If you move the bananas from the gorilla he will go crazy and beat people. Well the next day a 6 foot 6 275 pound guy goes into the bar and starts tearing the place apart. The bartender pulls the string and the gorilla kicks the guy's ass. The next day a 7 foot 4, 450 pounder goes into the bar and tears it up so the gorilla kicks the guy's ass. The next day, a Pollack whose 5 foot and 95 pounds goes in there and starts causing trouble so the bartender releases the gorilla and the Pollack kicks the gorilla's ass. As the Pollack is dusting himself off he says, "give a nigger a fur coat and he thinks he owns the world."
What's the difference between a working black man and big foot?
People have seen big foot
Did you hear about that black guy they found on the bottom of that river in Arkansas with 300lbs of chains wrapped around him...the local sheriff said, "just like a goddamn black guy, stole more chains than he could
swim with
Two black guys walk into a bar and they see a white guy in a Klan hat and he says, "no blacks allowed." The black guys say, "didn't you ever hear of the Emancipation Proclamation?" The guy in the klan hat says, "no, I don't listen to hip hop."
A black kid is so depressed at his color that he whitewashes himself to see what it's like. He walks in to show his mom and gets a smack round the ear for his trouble. Hurt but determined he goes to see his dad and show him, and gets the beating of his life. After fleeing the house he sits on a park bench, crying. An old lady comes over and asks, "What's the matter sonny?" The kid replies, "I've only been white for half an hour and I hate those black bastards already!"
What do you get when you throw a basketball into a slave ship sailing across the world? Harlem Globetrotters
What do you call a black abortion center?
Crime-stoppers of America
Why do blacks wear white gloves when eating candy?
So they do not bite their finger off when eating a Tootsie Roll.
Why did God give black men big cocks?
As a way of saying I am sorry for putting pubic hair on their heads.
What do you call 2 black guys on a bike?
Organized Crime
What do you call the black Toys R Us?
We Be Toys
Why did so many Blacks die in the war?
Cause when the colonel yelled "Get down!" they all got up and started dancing.
How do you keep a black from stealing anything in your store?
Put a 'Helped Wanted' sign in the window
What is it called when a white cop shoots a black man?
He had a gun.
What is it called when a white guy pushes a black guy down the stairs?
He fell.
There are three guys sitting at a bar: a German, an Italian, and a black guy. Jesus Christ himself walks into the bar and over to them. He touches the German guy and says, "broken leg, you're healed." Then Christ walks to the Italian touches him and says, "sprained ankle, you're healed." Both men are now healed and then Christ walks over to the black guy and goes to touch him, and he pulls away quickly and shouts, "don't touch me I am on disability!"
What did a black say when crossing the Zebra Crossing?
Now you see me, now you don't...
What time is it to go to bed at Michael Jackson's house?
When the big hand is on the little hand.
What do JC Penny and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
What do Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and an educated black person have in common?
They don't exist
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So little black kids can get messy two.
Anonymous:
Fag Jokes
Q: Why did the two fags hold hands and cross the road?
A: Because they were retarded.
Q: Why did God invent AIDS?
A: To decrease the number of homosexuals.
Q: Why are there Pride marches?
A: Because there are lots of idiots in the world.
Q: How many homosexuals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Between ten and seventy.
Q: Why are gay people usually fired from their jobs?
A: Because they make lousy employees.
Q: What's the difference between a homosexual and a toilet?
A: You could kiss a toilet if you had to.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with no arms and legs?
A: Tanya.
Q: What do you say to a gay men right after his lover has died?
A: "You're next."
Q: Why do gay men like to drink?
A: Because they're confused and weak.
Q: Why are homosexuals like a six-pack?
A: Because you always feel better after they're gone.
Q: Is a lesbian a room deodorizer?
A: Yes.
Q: What do you get when you cross a faggot with a hungry alligator?
A: Something worth videotaping.
Q: Why don't homosexuals wipe their asses?
A: Because they like the smell of shit.
Q: What do people usually do when they see faggots get killed in automobile accidents?
A: Watch and laugh.
Q: Who benefits from gay rights?
A: Assholes.
Q: Why did the lesbian go to the therapist?
A: Because no one else would listen to her.
Q: How do you make a faggot shut up?
A: You can't.
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