Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones

My story.

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mikehunt:
by the way, were you talking about martin weins and guy bonano?
::puke::

Hell on Wheels:
Want to know the difference......... We were children who didn't know better. They were adults who did know better. It is the only thing that will wake them up. They will not respect the loss of money or jobs. Denial is very powerful, the true CEDU folk will never admit that they were wrong, nor will they read our words..... it scares them, the truth scares them.
I am way too aggressive maybe. I may have lost touch with my human side. The only thing I know is hate and fear and sadness. I know how to give pain and take pain. I think sometimes I have lost my ability to love, or be loved. My point is not about moving on, it is about making them feel as I have felt. To make them feel powerless and weak. To make them scared to speak out. These are people that belong in places like Birkenau, Bergen Belsen, Treblinka, Dachau,  Hanoi Hilton, Bataan.......... not the innocent.

Hell on Wheels:
Here's a little something I wrote about that.

Strength      

They say that strength comes from the inside.
That we all have the power to decide.
What if that is not so true.
That some of us do not have the strength to overcome.
Only the strength to survive.
With each passing day that wears down
 The strength slowly ebbs.
Until one day it is gone.
And upon that day we lay our burdens down on the earth
And slowly slip beneath it.
We lay our cross down for the next lost soul to claim it.
And it will be theirs to keep
Until the day they can no longer bear the weight of it.
And if we could pass our weights back
Upon the ones who gave them to us,
Would we do it or not.
When you know you are strong,  
You will not ask for help,
Because those who do not carry
Do not know one fucking bit about strength.
They are beneath those who do carry the weight,
Regardless of stature.

Hell on Wheels:
I hate you and I hope you die an excrutiatingly painful, miserable, long, lonely death surrounded by the blank faces of hollow men for whom the only desire is to increase your suffering. I hope you die as an invalid- deaf, blind, dumb, and paralized trap



Wow, now that is some great writing. It almost makes me cry. I hear it, I feel it, it's good.

Hell on Wheels:

--- Quote ---On 2004-06-11 22:02:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Yikes! AS a "dissatisfied customer" of CEDU (former student), to put it mildy, your comments are terrifying, Hell.  Tell me you are just venting.  The point is to END Cedu abuse not inflict it on more children.  Here, maybe you need to rant and rave, but it veers on the sadistic.  CEDU would read this stuff and just discredit you on this basis. I know we all need a place to vent, but you have so much raw energy do you know how powerful it could be if directed constructively? Man, you could get shit done!



And, Bryan: Is there anyway you could report the attempted molestation? That's serious shit and they should have to deal with that.  I wonder if any of the other kids had the same problem with that guy?



Have either of you confronted these staff members as adults now that they can't dick you around.  I've thought about it.  I think it would bring some closure.



By the way, why didn't more people split?



"

--- End quote ---

Well here's a few answers......Bonners Ferry is located in bumfuck egypt, so not really anywhere to go. Spokane is not really that great of a city to be homeless in. There wasn't much green laying around, so that also made it tough. I made it to Spokane......I got pulled off the train by the Spokane SWAT team... We were "armed and dangerous" CEDU bullshit. Ain't it great.

As far as confronting staff now????? Well I think about that almost every day, and have come to one conclusion...... I already did a couple years at CEDU, I'm not in the mood to do life in the Big House. I'm not scared of it, I just don't like the idea very much. I just know that I wouldn't be able to stop myself, and would go over the proverbial edge. I have to rant and rave, and spill it out here, because I just can't do what I want to do. Now do you all see where I am coming from. I have the ability and the tools, and the money and the time to take care of the problem. Take out the heads of Medusa, so to speak. I just can't. I cannot go that far. I will become the thing I hate. Their money means shit to me. Technically they have not done anythig to get themselves locked up. But they went to No. 1 on a few people's lists. And I do not think you can discredit hate. Hatred and love are two of the most powerful motivating factors in the world. Sure my rantings are a little rough. Definitely got your attention didn't it?? :grin:  Nah, I have a great sense of humor and try to always use it, but like I've said before, CEDU brings out the monster in me. (thanks L7) I do okay for a long time, but from Feb 3 to end of summer, every year is terrible melancholy and anger. I guess I should start smoking the good shit to help me forget, but I will not.

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