Not to change the subject from the good news or anything, but I have a valid point to raise.
We all agree that CEDU is evil and bad and all that jazz. CEDU, Casa, Monarch (new in Montana run by ex-CEDUites, and a phsychiatrist that I hate is a big influence there also, I'm sure that Maximus knows of him, and is as fond of him as I am.) And all these schools are the wrong place to send your child. That is no shit.
But I have thought this through, and it goes a little something like this..... Where do you send a child?? Huh? where in the hell do you send a child that you love dearly, but is a menace to himself or others. Who is resentful towards any type of authority real or perceived. Who cares nothing for others, and is headed down the road to prison or young death.
Answer: Any place that promises to help him/her. Because from experience I know that 99% of the kids, me included did not like going to see a shrink, or psychologist, hated it with a passion.
Now a good plenty of CEDU kids, especially at RMA, were there because mommy and daddy had a little disposable income and just needed a place to stuff their kid during the teenage years. A lot of what I saw at RMA was kids trying to reestablish a relationship with their parents. I did see that at BCA also. It was a little different with me, I just didn't care too much about a relationship with my parents or family. Many kids did not have a good home, situations where if a parent would have spent a little time and love and attention, instead of money, it would have gone a long ways.
But for some kids, me included, we were the problem, not anyone else to blame. Oh sure there is plenty to blame, but as far as upbringing and all, it was fine and normal. We were just bad kids and troublemakers.
To make a long story short, stories like the ones we write on this board is educating parents. Without counseling or any bullshit. But it is not my parents fault that they never pulled me. I blamed them for years afterwards, and in the past two years have let it go. I still blame them for not truly listening to me when I was there, trying to convey how horrible it was by tone of voice and mannerisms when I was around them (because they were monitoring phone calls....wasn't that a cute, fascist touch)
Maybe what I am trying to say is this..... People that were not students, (and this time I am not slamming therapists) will never truly know the unrelenting pain and pressure CEDU puts upon one as a student. I'm just a little tired of people patronizing students. Blaming everything but them. After all it was my actions and big mouth that got me sent away. CEDU never solicited me or my parents. If I were my parents, I would have sent me away too. But they couldn't have known what was in store, the internet was nothing like it is today, just a few bbs things going on, but nothing more, so this wealth of information that we have today was not available. Ex-students of these programs had no place to tell their stories. And now with the possibility of a school closure looming, we still need to talk. Because these types of schools are still a popular commodity. And fo rme, the closure of one school is still not closure, it is great news, but it is not closure. I want to see the headstones of every prick that ever worked at CEDU... And I want to see all those who were good people at CEDU find a school that does the right things.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Don't be fooled by my take responsibility talk, that is important, and I am not giving CEDU any props.
Cedu sucks, it sucks so fucking bad that sometimes at night I can still feel it sucking. It is the same feeling young men and a few women felt in the sixties, as the Freedom Bird cleared Tan Son Nhut airspace without being shot down. And for many of them the war was not over. And for me, it is not over and will not be for as long as I can see. It ebbs and flows, good days and bad days. But as long as certain songs still affect me, and flashbacks occur and leave me standing still for a moment to get my bearings, it isn't over. There is not a day that goes by that I would not go back to fight again, it has that pull on me, that if I could take the place of another, I would do it in a heartbeat. But that is impossible. That place steals souls and puts out the lights in children's eyes, they will pay for what they have done, that is my one wish in this world.
