***Funny thing is, or not so funny, is that no one has the slightest clue about this program. It's all assumptions based on their own experiences, or lack thereof, about their program. ***
Quotes about this program in this thread:
mom said that she has not been allowed to have any direct contact with her daughter for well over a month (no mail, no calls).
She said that the program told her that her daughter needed to earn the priviledge of communication with her parents, so none of her letters would be sent nor could she get any letters or calls until she reached a certain level. I guess her daughter is slower than most kids, as the mom said she was told that the daughter was being taught a lesson about consequences for not doing her work.
Apparently your response, anon?
If it's important to the girl to talk with her mom, she will do what needs to be done to have the calls and the mail. The first part of the stay at the school I'm familar with is the compliance phase. After that it's when the teen shows they are making changes for themselves, not the parents or the staff.
You don't get it do you? Incarcerating a teen is wrong. Denying contact or 'earning the privelege' to have contact with parents and family is wrong.
And yes, that is my opinion.
***So all of a sudden, not talking to them while you learn to communicate respectfully is a problem.***
That is not what is going on. Teens are not allowed to talk to their parents in the intital phase of programs for several reasons:
1) Instill fear.
2) Set the precedent that parents have abdicated responsibility and the program is in full control.
3) To reduce 'attrition'. They want the kid (money) to stay, so they limit contact with the parent while the precedent is being set.
While they're 'learning to communicate respectfully' is not one of them sweetie. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
You say: The programs that prohibit phone calls for a while do so for a good reason. My take is that the teens are all butt hurt they are there, and saying they wantto talk to their parents is an excuse to tell their parents how sorry they are, even though they aren't. They just want to come home and get back to what they were doing before.
And so what of that? So, the programs are protecting the fragile parents who can't listen to their kids? That is not a reason to deny contact. I'd like to see a judge rip that notion to shreads. Isn't it enough that the lame-ass parent is off the hook to parent the teen, but they can't listen to them complain, vent, whatever. Disgusting how gullible parents can be. And they think they were 'manipulated' by their teen. :lol:
***There are many scenarios, and we've heard it all before we chose residential programs.***
Who is 'we', who've heard it all before? Do you have some other program parents in your pocket? Are you a mouthpiece for the Industry?
***Being a parent doesn't mean being verbally manipulated and abused.***
You're not going to get much empathy here for that poor me, victim attitude. Try Struggling Teens where parents love to comisserate about how their teens abused them.
***Being a parent means being able to admit we were part of the problem and doing something about it.***
That line is the best sales pitch the Industry has. The covert goal is to relieve parents of guilt and convince them that sending their teens away is doing the right thing.
***If the mom feels things are going well, why would anyone else care?***
Did you fail to understand what this board, and the regular participants are about? My perception is that a person came here to voice his/her concerns about the policies of a program and asked for information. I'm sure s/he will draw his/her own conclusions from the various view points that have been shared, including your own twisted opinion.
Your attempt to 'protect' the parent in question is oh so familiar- just the way the program protected you from your lying, manipulating, abusive teen. Wouldn't you just love it if you could somehow block Struggling Parents from this forum?
Truth is, a program parent is a program parent and will incarcerate their teen if they find one shread of support in that direction.
Then there are those parents who are considering a program, but have their brains engaged in the process. Having done some research, they may choose not to incarcerate their teen. Those are not the type of parents you/the Industry are looking for. I'm sure there are an ample number of lame brains who will keep the Industry going for some time to come. Relax. We're just sharing opinions and experience here. No need to feel so threatened.