My stomach has turned reading through this thread and some of the others here. I can sense the frustration and anger from those of us subjected to Straight and all its bullshit - I feel it deep inside my gut and heart as well. What I think though is that unlike many on these boards, I WAS one like 'still doing fine' or whatever the screen name is. I bought the program hook, line and sinker and for a few years after you could never have convinced me the place was anything less than a blessing to all who entered its doors. I have been very open and honest on the boards that I was fully into the program and worked there and promoted it. I do not know why some are more susceptable to its brainwashing than others. I was young when I went in - barely 15 and had only experimented with alcohol and never touched a drug. I was hungry for acceptance though and extremely vulnerable as many of you know because I had been sexually assaulted a few months prior which led me into depression and self destructive behavior. I strongly suspect that those more vulnerable with VERY poor self esteem, not that all of us did not battle with that to some degree, but I know after my rape I was FILLED with self loathing - seem to fall much more into all the brain washing shit used at these programs. When I got out I was filled with the same rhetoric that this person talks with and had you put a gun to my head, I would have taken a bullet before critizing the place "that had saved me from dying or being in jail" how many times have we heard that?? I know it stirs up anger to read someone defending places like Straight - it makes me want to vomit but I truly believe that we need to meet these people with empathy and understanding. I remember when I started to realize that maybe the life I was leading was built on nothing but lies how terrified I was. I had built everything around the illness of that place and had no idea what I would do because I had not really been a member of true society for so long even though I appeared to function well in it. I still found my haven in the 'program world.' When I started working with a cult specialist and eventually could not live in the lie anymore I absolutely freaked out....having to realize just how badly I had been treated, how much I had been lied to and how I bought into it and basically sold my soul over to that place to survive first phase and then continued to perpetuate the abuse was horrid. I was ashamed of myself, felt incredibly stupid, embarrassed and horrified that I had worked through the phases and staff continuing the cycles of abuse and brainwashing that had been used on me. I truly think by being empathetic and remembering how strongly influenced some of us were - I know I was and am sure many of you remember people who were total 'straightlings' we can help to lead others to the truth behind these places. It took years for most of us to realize the toll that place took on us - there is an interesting thread on the Straight forum right now 'the 15 year itch' about how many people seem to start seeking information about Straight, SAFE, Kids, KHK wherever they were a decade or more later. I think it takes a lot of us that long to start to put 2 and 2 together and wonder if perhaps some of the current day issues we have - emotional vomiting, trust issues, relationship struggles, depression, PTSS issues whatever it may be - could be linked to the fact that we had our teenage years ripped away from us and never got to learn many of those vital lessons because we were locked away and then many of us stayed in the program world after for some years. I 100% believe that KHK is a Straight replica. I went to their website and about puked - it reeks of Straight but I think rather than trying to cram down these people throats that they were brainwashed it would be more productive to relate how we finally realized the truth about what happened to us. I doubt it will make much immediate difference but if even a seed of thought is planted to get some of these survivors to wonder at some point, perhaps they will be able to finally see the truth and this one can be held accountable for its tactics as well. I hope I don't sound too "programy' or wishy washy, I just think too much anger was heaped on all of us in these programs that use the 'break em to build em back up' (which KHK does) and trying to convince someone they were brainwashed and screwed with years ago by some place they still think is so fab does nothing more than raise their defenses and close their minds even more. That does not serve our purpose of getting these destructive places shut down once and for all.
Jennifer[ This Message was edited by: jnloar on 2004-04-14 01:15 ][ This Message was edited by: jnloar on 2004-04-14 01:18 ]