Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones

What Kids Say

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HandsOutLight:
What you say makes sense though I have never heard of the Stockholm Syndrome. You are right when you say that the staff began to replace the place of my mother. We really had no choice since all communication with the outside world was controlled by these same staff members. Every telephone call that we made was monitored. When I returned home and began telling my mother what went on there she was outraged. Her next question to me was to ask why I never told her any of this from the beginning, during our telephone conversations. This question seems to be typical of people who are looking at these institutions from the outside. They don't understand that all communication is monitored (both telephone calls and letters). It was easier to tell her that everything was going well than face being punished for telling the truth. The other part of not telling the truth is that after a while the truth seemed to change. I know this will sound strange, but being in an oppressed situation became a way of life. We new nothing else and so came to expect nothing better. There was the flip side of this as well. The staff for the most part were extremely nurturing. You have to understand that most kids in the school came from families that were often too caught up their professional and social lives to give much thought to their children. Most of us went home everyday to a house void of parents with only some sort of domestic staff to fill that void. So to be in a situation that gave us more attention than we had ever known was sort of nice. We finally had someone in our lives that seemed to replace that nurturing we were not receiving at home. I guess what I am trying to say is that there was a feeling of family at this school. It just wasn't unconditional. You were always aware that the tormenting and abuse were right around the corner.

Melissa

> Melissa,

> I am curious about your statement saying
> that you developed a dependency to the staff.
> I have read about kids who are in abusive situations
> developing something called the Stockholm Syndrome.
> This is what they say Patty Hurst had. You bond
> to the abuser and try to please him. Lots of these
> behavior modification schools try to make the
> children detach from their parents by cutting
> off all communication and belittling them. They
> break them down to build them up. Unfortunately,
> with children, they remain broken down. The abuser
> then becomes like a parent. Having been in a situation
> like this, what are your feelings? Have you heard
> of this? Do you think there is any validity to
> this theory. No one knows better than a past student.
> Some call it brain washing. I don't know what
> to think.
> Donna
>



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> Donna,

> What you say makes sense though I have never
> heard of the Stockholm Syndrome. You are right
> when you say that the staff began to replace the
> place of my mother. We really had no choice since
> all communication with the outside world was controlled
> by these same staff members. Every telephone call
> that we made was monitored. When I returned home
> and began telling my mother what went on there
> she was outraged. Her next question to me was
> to ask why I never told her any of this from the
> beginning, during our telephone conversations.
> This question seems to be typical of people who
> are looking at these institutions from the outside.
> They don't understand that all communication is
> monitored (both telephone calls and letters).
> It was easier to tell her that everything was
> going well than face being punished for telling
> the truth. The other part of not telling the truth
> is that after a while the truth seemed to change.
> I know this will sound strange, but being in an
> oppressed situation became a way of life. We new
> nothing else and so came to expect nothing better.
> There was the flip side of this as well. The staff
> for the most part were extremely nurturing. You
> have to understand that most kids in the school
> came from families that were often too caught
> up their professional and social lives to give
> much thought to their children. Most of us went
> home everyday to a house void of parents with
> only some sort of domestic staff to fill that
> void. So to be in a situation that gave us more
> attention than we had ever known was sort of nice.
> We finally had someone in our lives that seemed
> to replace that nurturing we were not receiving
> at home. I guess what I am trying to say is that
> there was a feeling of family at this school.
> It just wasn't unconditional. You were always
> aware that the tormenting and abuse were right
> around the corner.

> Melissa
>  

 

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HandsOutLight:
. The school was a breakoff of the Casscade School and followed Casscade's model (CEDU). I don't know the exact reason for the schools closure by I know from having attended that there were many problems with abuse (physical, emotional and sexual). I know from my experience that the daily abuse was never perceived as anything out of place. We were made to feel that we had screwed up our lives, we had made poor judgements and therefore we in no position to question what was being done to us.

I have been out now for over seven years and still have nightmares. I can not perceive the day that I will ever trust myself again. We were made to feel that we had screwed up so badly that we were no longer able to make decisions for ourselves. The only problem with that is that they never tought us how to make correct decisions for ourselves (we were to just blindly follow the staff). Basic daily life was taken out of our control and placed in the hands of others. Sure this fixed the problem in the short term but what about the long term? After years of having life lived for me I don't know how to do it for myself. Sure, to all others I appear to be perfectly adjusted. I have a good job, I own a home and support myself in everyway but I know that the fears I have today stem from the fears that were instilled in me at that school. I lived every day not in fear for my life but in fear of being tormented and demeaned.

What I hate the most about the whole experience is that today, after all I went through there, I would return in a heartbeat. My only understanding of this is that I became dependant of the school and have never broken that dependancy.

I hope this post helps parents make the correct decision in dealing with there troubled tee. I only ask that before you send your child away you think beyond the short term "quick fix".

Melissa

Antibody?:
Yep, SHE'S ALUMNI

HOW ABOUT THAT FOR AN EXAMPLE OF INTELLECTUAL AND EMOTIONAL GROWTH

HA HA  :roll:

Jack1963:
[ This Message was edited by: Jack1963 on 2004-08-01 15:34 ]

Anonymous:
Where is Melissa. If there are any kids out there who can answer the issue of this Stockholm Syndrome Please enlighten us.

My understanding is that SS this is a dependency that develops where an abused cult member, having nobody but the abuser with which to bond, bonds to the abuser as a psuedo parent.

This would appear to be what happens to students after being under CEDU program stress "break" and become compliant drones.

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