About a week ago, I decided to go traipsing through the undergrowth behind my apartment building here in Hillbillie Hills, when 'lo and behold, I saw the unmistakable yet vaguely familiar 3 leaf patterned shrub that could only come from a mature Sassafras Tree. Now because Sassafras has been taken off the market by the Food and Drug Administration since 1974, I consulted the internet in order to stay above board legally and make sure I did not poison myself since I was damn near drooling at this point to dig some up and make some Sassafras Tea with the root.
Memories came flooding back of the first time that I ever tasted some. It was at my best friend's house around 1971. His mom had purchased some from a "Hippy" health food store in Clearwater and brewed up a pot. She was in a really good mood because my friend and I had gotten really good report cards and I guess because Ronald Reagan was still a long way off. She made a big deal of it and had us sit at the Breakfast Table and she served us each a steaming hot cup in fine white china. We were both knocked out on how it tasted just like root beer. The tea was brownish red in the pan she boiled it in, yet was almost blood red in the cups she poured it in. About 10 minutes after drinking it, me and my friend looked at each other strangely, we were fucking buzzed man! I am talking jacked the fuck up! His mom sensed this and led us to the living room whereupon she sat down at the piano and started playing what she called "Jitterbug Music." Her fingers flew across the keys and me and my friend and his little brothers danced around like crazymen and fell to the carpet laughing our asses off.
Well, yesterday afternoon I dug up about a 9 footer, freed up the roots, smashed it up into workable size and commenced to pounding the root to scrapple with a hammer and bagging it up.
Once that was done, I took a good few pinches of oily root shavings and packed them into a metal Tea Ball and dropped it into some boiling water. The results were Fan Fucking Tastic! I am still buzzing off the cup I drank a couple hours ago. This stuff makes Red Bull seem like Kool Ade. Well, that's my two cents worth.............85 DJ
