dwelling in the past

[Anonymous]

On 2004-02-13 23:45:00, 7stepper wrote:

"I 7stepped Straight in Va. in'86. Was there 18 months.  Never sat in my own feces or urine nor did I see anyone else do that.  Never got hit or hit anyone.  Was never molested and never heard any rumors that it was going on.  Agree that songs like "straight is it" were irratating but preferred singing to staring at a wall. I do remember some confrontational raps after open meeting, but nothing to cause nightmares. Had a brother and a sister that withdrew themselves when they turned 18. One was there 1 month, the other 11 months.  Both thought the program sucked but neither claims any abuse took place.  After completing the program I met and married another 7stepper.  We've been married 16 years and have 2 kids.  Neither of us got into AA or NA, but are both still sober.  My experience was that Straight was a tough program and a difficult time in my life but I did come out of there a whole lot stronger than I went in.  My life has gone on.  I've had tougher times in my life and easier times but they're all experiences. I do not define myself by the fact that I went through a Straight program, nor do I define my siblings as failures for not completing it. My family is really close and yet rarely do any of us even mention Straight.  Imagine that - that is how insignificant it is at this point in our lives.  We're all more caught up in our children, our jobs, OUR LIVES!  I hope you all can find the peace w/ your past that you are seeking so you can move on."

My life has gone on as well, but I am baffled by the ignorance of your post. If you had the slightest knowledge of trauma and PTSD you might know that the effects are different from one person to another as is the duration from what I can gather. What makes you so self rightgeous? Better? not to mention that many people block out traumatic experiences. Perhaps you have. I can't imagine you never saw anyone be abused in one form or another during your time there. I can imagine that it is true that your life has gone on, but why are you preaching to those who still have difficulties caused by what they experienced? If it does not matter to you, why do you take the time to post? Go back to YOUR LIVES and leave people alone. Apparently something is drawing you to these postings. Maybe you should think deep and hard about what that might be.

[jnloar]

I always find it amazing when I read of people who do not have extreme negative recollections of their time in Straight, but do agree with Scott as far as him being as welcome here as any other survivor.  He did say it was difficult and I believe it is important to respect what people remember.  What I found offensive about the post and I think it is what elicited some of the stronger responses was that the ending comments were fairly sarcastic and even condescending.  I for one, had a horrid time in Straight, Dallas but I respect that 7stepper did not apparently see or experience what I did.  After plenty of therapy I am happy to say that Straight does not haunt me as it used to but I did feel, 7 stepper, that you were ridiculing and putting down those of us who did suffer severe abuse at the hands of Straight and did have to put great effort into healing the effects of the brainwashing, abuse and wounds inflicted by that place.  I look at Fornits as a place to offer hope, support and friendship to fellow survivors.  Sometimes I laugh when I read things, sometimes I cry my eyes out and sometimes I am indifferent but I am always bonded to these people becuase we did experience a very strange place together.  I believe that as someone who was lucky enough to have access to therapy and deprogramming that I have a responsibility to reach out to those who have not and desperately need to heal from Straight.  I would hope - 7 stepper - that you might share how you did move on but in a constructive and not condescending way.  I also think that the age and reasons we were placed there has a lot to do with attitudes and post Straight issues.  I was barely 15 and even today at 31 have seen pot twice in my life and only touched it once.  I had no business being in a place like Straight - I was severely depressed and suicidal after being raped but Straight convinced my parents on intake I was lying and just admit me for 14 day eval and they would get the truth out of me.  My parents just wanted to be able to sleep not worrying if I was going to try to kill myself so they left me.  22 months later I came out warped beyond belief and it took years of therapy and deprogramming for me to even have any remote idea of who or what I truly was about.  I hope that all survivors will find something here and that you, 7 stepper,  will share how you were able to get on with your life, just maybe with a bit more empathy for those of us who were more profoundly impacted.
Jennifer

[Therion]

Hiya Jenny !!! ::heart::

[Therion]

Fornits is here for different things..

Some are angry and wanna vent..hence the "I fucked miller newtons mom" type posts...

Some are just sharing stories..

Some are working through sadness...

Some are here to keep up with other ex straightlings...to check on people...

Some are here as friends..or just to hang out.

Some are here for all of the above...

Im glad you have moved on...perhaps you could tell us about what you did to work through your issues..
 Mabey you could be encouraging even...Theres alot of lonely people..down and out people..
 Searching... An encouraging word or PM may help someone.

 But if you just want to come here and look down and say "Move on...pussies! Quit whining! My life is great! Get over it!"
  That doesnt do too much good. And of course people are gonna jump your shit. You are acting like a fucktard...

 However ..we start out fresh every day!
 And you can always act a little bit cooler and with more understanding and respect than you did yesterday...or last week.
 
 Have you not seen the suicide rate for ex straightlings?
 If it werent for that...mabey someone coming here acting like an asshole could be overlooked.
 Out of a room full of mabey 75 kids I sat with during the summer of 1988 theres probably about 10 that I know of that are dead...from suicide..and thats just from the kids in "My Group" that summer...

 You get the picture right? If not...just ask and Ill give you the long "unabridged, you are an idiot" version.

 Thanks sir and good day to you. :wink:

[The Devil Therion]

Let him speak for himself...and Scott you are missing the point dude...Its not WHAT he said but HOW he said it..

He was being a dick on purpose then hiding behind "opinion"

Thats fine that he liked staright...but the way hes saying it is ....well I already made that clear didnt I?

[Anonymous]

My guess is that if he had moved on and was doing so well, he wouldn't have the need to make himself feel better by making those comments in a condescending way.  Pretty pathetic to insult people's pain if you ask me.

[Scott D]

Now, this is what I love about everyone in here.....there are so many different reactions to everything because certain things strike people differently to each individual for their own reasons. I have made the mistake of taking people wrong when reading text before and people have taken me wrong as well thinking I was being a dick when that was not my intent at all. It's hard to tell emotion behind typed words. Unless it is blunt but, in this case I did not pick up on it as a bad motive. I remember when I first found this site about 5 months ago and I started reading past posts I truely started to get pissed off at some of what I was reading....why?....because I didn't believe a lot of it or I felt pissed because I saw people still letting Straight or whatever past thing still control them like they just got out of there yesterday. But, then I had to step back a second and realize a bunch of things.....one was until I found this, my contact with anyone from Straight has been extremely small(next to nil)and most times when I think back to being in Straight itself all I think about for the most part was me and my experience mean while being blinded by everyday problems after Straight and trying desparately to function in everyday life. This may sound selfish and it is and was but this is how I thought. I try daily not to be and think like that anymore...i'm certainly not perfect with it. I also realized on here that when I was in Springfield may 88- Nov 89 that 1988 was severe compared to 89. So, I know that it was much worse way before I got there and other Straights had different staff so I don't know what took place in those places except for what I read on here. I also know that I have a drug problem and I also believe many people that were in there didn't and do not have addiction issues. All I am trying to say is that everyone has a different outlook on what they read in here and their thoughts on Straight from their direct perspective and frankly, it can be quite overwhelming first coming into these posts. Jenifer, I liked your post and I clearly understood your thinking and what your thought process was. I personally am still sober, but to be sober I feel that you must be a holic or addict. I am friends with people that drink and smoke weed to. I choose not to be around them when they smoke weed and thats my choice and my own issues not theirs and they all respect me for that....therefore they are my friends. Sometimes I wish on here Therion, that more people would just come out and say that they feel alone when they are hurting but, seems like so many tend to focus on all the bull shit that Straight may have delt them that it blends in with so many other posts. I am sure many people were mentally and emotionally scarred by someone in Straight but, I think a lot of people hide unintentionally behind Straight and it doesn't allow themselves the oppurtunity to move on. I don't know.....I really don't have all the answers nor do I think I ever do, it's just that I have gotten myself into many negative cycles in my life and it seems like I am not alone with the cycle thing in here either. For example, typically when I post that I am sober and still sober since Straight, there usually will be someone jumpin down my throat asking me why I feel like I have a drug problem or stating that I must still be brain washed. I have no problem ever responding to those questions but I have never asked someone on here why they don't think they have a problem when they post pictures of bongs or when they talk about doing cocaine or trippin etc. The reason I don't ask??? Because who am I to know if one has a problem or not. I am not God. Alot of people that were in Straight that didn't have problems drug related often seem to assume that everyone else that was there also didn't have addiction problems. I am here to say that wasn't the case with me personally and because I say that on here many react that I'm still brainwashed at age 30. I personally learned very quick what reality was after graduating Straight and going to AA. There is a huge difference and I spent countless times in meetings just crying my eyes out trying to adjust and learn "real" recovery. I look and listen to people very different today on here and in real time. On here it can be difficult for so many reasons trying to guess at ones motives in text. I hope 7 stepper responds to some of the questions that were asked to him because I can't speak for him but, I still do not think his motive was to be little anyone or to put himself up on a pedastal. But he knows . Sorry for the long ramble.

[ This Message was edited by: Scott D on 2004-02-16 16:54 ]

[Therion]

Holy shit man...

If you space out paragraphs..


Its way easier on the eyes...

[The Angel Therion]

Quote of the Day:::::: "Theres about three people in this world I really give a shit about, and you arent one of them" :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol: