Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Troubled Teen Industry
One More Reason to Despise Ashcroft- Refuse to Investigate W
Deborah:
We don't know
1) that the poster is indeed a new parent.
2) that she actually has an ex and he did what she alleges.
3) that you have a realtive and he is fine.
What we do know
Everytime a program parents feet are held to the fire- is engaged in debate, there is an organized front signing on to scream "attack".
There are no rules of engagement here- don't imagine that you can come on board and impose yours. No one is required to be nice- whatever that means to you. I thought it rude of her to call others liars. And inappropriate to present herself as an authority with 4 months experience in the organization.
This is a survivor site. It is not mandatory reading for anyone. I thought your advice to her was excellent.
Anonymous:
Okay did you know that sometimes during therapy sessions the kids are told their parents don't want them? Yes I understand this is hard to believe however As stated in my other post I witnessed the session as I sat in. I remember sitting there (this is after 10 months and all three seminars in the program)not wanting to say anything in front of my daughter as I didn't want her to use it to manipulate me later however addressed it with the director directly after. Not all therapists have an education to be working with people as a therapist. I once did not believe this either however it was my experience.
Okay- finally a civilized conversation. So, you had a problem with your therapist and that is the reason you are upset with the program (or the biggest reason, anyway) But my question to you - without being in your shoes- you got to talk to the therapist approx. 20 times during that first 10 months, right? And you had therapy sessions with your daughter/son on at least half of those - didn't you see it? Our therapist is Norm T. and I believe he communicates with my daughter better than I've been able to in two years- and so far everything that he says has really been right on. She has said how much respect she has for him and I feel like (when I talk to him) that he only has her best interest in mind. He gets excited about rewarding her when she has a good week- and he calls her on her crap when she is having a bad day. If I didn't feel comfortable with him- or if I felt my daughter wasn't "getting" anything from her sessions with him- I would explore changing therapists. Its not unheard of. Sometimes therapists recommend a change because they feel it just isn't working- kids change groups, therapists, whatever.
I am not saying I'm an expert in any way- all I'm saying is people who come on forums like this and give opinions on what they have "read on the internet" or even parents with kids in a different school like Dundee or TB- you can't compare those schools to CC and you cant take one situation that happened in another country and hold it against CC.
All I know is we were fighting a loosing battle with my daughter. My husband and I want only the best for her, as Im sure you want the best for your child which is why you sent him/her to CC. Nothing we were doing would make her see that she was ruining her life- digging herself into a whole that soon she wouldn't be able to pull herself out of. Getting addicted to Alcohol and giving her body away to anyone and everyone- even a 22 y/o stranger when she was camping with my ex. You feel helpless and you just can't stop her from all of this- and we tried counseling- she didn't work in the sessions, just looked at the floor and when she has to answer she would just grunt.
Thank you for giving me your feed back about the program- I do appreciate it. But what you are saying is a far cry from abuse like some of the other people alleg.(sp?)
My daughter is happy and we have a relationship again- she writes me every other day, as I do her. She can't wait to get back to the family, nor can we. We only want happiness for her. Its very difficult to have her away- you know that. But it was very difficult to have her here when she was distroying her life and all we could do is sit back and watch.
So- again I thank you. I hope your child is living a good and productive life and that she took some good things from the program that she can use in her life.
So far, it's working for us and the second I feel like its not- I'll be there to bring her home.
Michelle
Anonymous:
Deborah from Texas
I am a new parent.. I am not presenting myself as an authority- or at least I didn't mean to.
I am very familiar with the program- I live it, breath it and it consumes my entire life. Four months maybe doesn't seem like a long time- but when your kids is away from you it is a life time. There is not a question I haven't asked and when I do have a question I hadn't thought of asking I ask my daughter-
You don't have to believe that I have an ex who sent the sherrifs department to the school. If you think that is too hard for you to imagine that a child had an opportunity to leave and didn't take it- you can believe what you want.
By the way, my daughter chose to at Cross Creek. We went there together- we toured the place= talked to some residents and some staff members- and when we had an opportunity to talk to six of the resident kids we were left alone with them for at least 30 minutes and they could have said anything they wanted to say to us. After talking with those girls and seeing the changes that they making in their attitudes and in their lives, my daughter decided that she wanted to change too. I could not have left here there kicking and screaming like some parents have to do. I tried to talk her into coming home and giving it one last chance and she said she wanted to stay- that she knows she will go back to the same stuff if she came home.
She thanks me for cross creek all the time in her letters. She has made friends that she loves.
I miss her terribly, but she will be home some day in the hopefully not too far away future and we will all be thankful for the experience.
Michelle
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2004-01-18 07:12:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Deborah from Texas
I am a new parent.. I am not presenting myself as an authority- or at least I didn't mean to.
I am very familiar with the program- I live it, breath it and it consumes my entire life. Four months maybe doesn't seem like a long time- but when your kids is away from you it is a life time. There is not a question I haven't asked and when I do have a question I hadn't thought of asking I ask my daughter-
You don't have to believe that I have an ex who sent the sherrifs department to the school. If you think that is too hard for you to imagine that a child had an opportunity to leave and didn't take it- you can believe what you want.
By the way, my daughter chose to at Cross Creek. We went there together- we toured the place= talked to some residents and some staff members- and when we had an opportunity to talk to six of the resident kids we were left alone with them for at least 30 minutes and they could have said anything they wanted to say to us. After talking with those girls and seeing the changes that they making in their attitudes and in their lives, my daughter decided that she wanted to change too. I could not have left here there kicking and screaming like some parents have to do. I tried to talk her into coming home and giving it one last chance and she said she wanted to stay- that she knows she will go back to the same stuff if she came home.
She thanks me for cross creek all the time in her letters. She has made friends that she loves.
I miss her terribly, but she will be home some day in the hopefully not too far away future and we will all be thankful for the experience.
Michelle
"
--- End quote ---
Stockholm Syndrome only takes 3 days to set in.
And any group that "consumes your whole life" scores a sinificant hit, iirc, on the Bonewitz' Cult Danger Evaluation Frame, just on that. The money is also a significant hit, as is WWASP parents' "circle the wagons" reaction to outsiders, and hostile reactions to group-leavers, and predictions of statistically improbable disaster (death of a child) for group-leavers.
Not interested in drinking the koolaid, thanks.
Anonymous:
I'm still friends with two parents who "left" the program. Not once have I questioned their decisions to "choose out." It's a personal choice and I'd be lying if I said I thought something was wrong with them or they were bad, etc., for this choice. In both cases, we don't discuss wwasp. We became friends during seminar and maintain that friendship on that level. In one family the girl is doing great. In the other, son is struggling and they are searching for "free" alternatives. It really is about what the "take away" was and how they choose to use it. Even graduates struggle, we all struggle with certain situations whether or not we've been IN a program. That's called life.
I understand what the ANON parent was saying when she said it consumes her life. It's not cultie to want to live and breath the new things we've learned. It takes practice to change a habit. She sounds committed to living this, not because she is told to, but because she wants to...on her own terms. She sounds committed to supporting her daughter and herself to live a different way that what she was prior to the admission. That's what I'm reading, but I tend to read positive, not negative.
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