Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

My Parents

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GregFL:
WOW.

Antigen:
I think (hope) my dad understood when he went on to bigger and better things that I forgave and fully understood the whole thing. But our dear friend, my childhood babysitter... hell, my common-law step-mother sometimes forgets. Before we left So. Florida, we had some time to kill between the final walk-through and the closing. So we decided to spend it visiting with her. We talked about everying; 30 years of friendship between our families and all that entails.

At the end, the conversation turned to the Program. Not sure, but I think she brought it up. But she got very agitated and, with tears welling in her eyes, asked me "Don't you know we had to do it, the Program saved your lives?" I've told her before that I understand. Told her about my buddy, Wes... and she certainly knows (or I thought she did) how I regard my father. But I've just had the hardest time making her understand that I fully understand and forgive it all just as much as she's long since forgiven me for a whole littany of mischeif and thoughtlesness over all the years she helped me grow up.

Make them understand that if you can; that they're only human, and among the best at that. That's the definition of growing up, I think; to take the best that our parents had to offer, leave out the mistakes and go on to improve on their work.

Tell your parents I certainly forgive them as well.

marcwordsmith:
Wow. Freedom and Ginger, you guys are remarkable. I have to admit I never did forgive my parents. They just got into it so much; they just loved it, they just reveled in the whole Seed culture. Years later, I could never quite buy "We did what we thought we had to do. We were brainwashed too." Anyway, my stepdad has passed away, and I haven't talked with my mother in about nine years. That's not because of the Seed; it's about many many things, many problems and abusive behavior. Still, the Seed seems emblematic of it all in a way, and I'll never forget her victorious smirk. But maybe I will forgive it, because I know I have to, and as long as I don't, I'm still trapped. It's my heart that hurts when there's people I don't stop blaming. It doesn't mean I'll contact my mother; I probably won't ever again. But at least I can forgive her and wish her well, truly. She's suffered plenty too, I know. Thank you guys, for your sane and thoughtful words.

GregFL:
Welcome to our forum, Mark. Where did you go to the seed and what year?
I myself didn't speak to my father from 16 to 20 and only recently got to where we are somewhat on the same page, but he still justifies it.  My mother cries when we talk about it.
You still haven't spoke to your mom?  Unreal. Do you blame the program, or is it a combination of things. I hope that you can work it out with her on some level, and once again, welcome. Tell us a little about yourself..

GregFL:
ok, I reread your post, and I think I understand what you were saying about your mom.  I felt similar  about my father for a long time. He angered me in so many ways and his attitude about the seed and the callous way he would say he saved my life and shit just really to me represented everything wrong with him. I have since got him to admit that the Seed was weird and  a bad thing to do to a 14 year old, but then up comes the "you needed help" bullshit. I look at my kids and wonder how in the hell they could have done that to me and my sister. My daughter is only 1.5 years younger than I was, and she is a baby, my son is 19 and I would never have done it to him. Yet, my father not only did it, he seemed to revel in it, to celebrate the torture we were enduring, and then for years later just dismiss my efforts to heal as druggie or counterculture behavior.

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