OH shit!! ok...I know EXACTLLY who your sister is!!!!! Amanda yea...she wore glasses! I was her Sp one time when she was in the corner!!! When she wasnt upset about something, I remember she had good spirits...She could lauph and dance and I think she did sing? But I totally remember who she is...I remember when she came in as a new resident and all. I can visualze her on her knees in another corner of the dining, as I look up and see her scrubing some where else... I remember...I felt so stupid on her SP, because I felt just like her, shitty, but I had to pretend I was this stronger person....I remember I didnt know what the fuck to say.to her...And I remember the way she looked at me, like oh come on, you r just like me...dont fake it...but she never said it..Do you still talk to her? I would love to say hi? and chit chat some words up? Do u got a email for her?
Yes...Elan made me VERY sensitive too...Too much sometimes...I get guilt alot more often!!! If I do something wrong, I seem to "cop to it" right away...(ISNT THAT HORRIBLE) I mean I can lie, now and then, but it EATS me up!!! inside! When my friends do something stupid, say something to piss me off, or others, I let them know right away...(I mean one would say that was prob normal behavior) but In my head, I think sometimes its from Elan. I am usually like, Ill be honest with u so and so u made me feel this way and that way, and i hate that lah lha..." and my mom "remember last month i said i needed this for this well that was for this" sorry...but i had to tell u...shit like that....
When my mom gets my buttons, I cry more easilly I never used to before. It hurts me more.. But when friends or strangers say hurtful things, I am like whatever...My self esteem is a lot stronger..just cause I know who I am...I do modeling, I dont have any bad reputations at my school, i am respected. and that can make someone like me feel real good...If i were to go visit Elan again, I think i would feel bit insacure? hmm why is that? Anyways..Write Back..
Want to hear what your gonna say...
-Jenny :smile: